|Reviews for Sacrifices|
| irishauthor94 chapter 12 . 2/27
Ah. i get it now. you're going to make Haru gay aren't you? Earth Kingdom born, has a somewhat apathetic reaction to women (Ty Lee) hitting on him, kicked out from home due to squabble of unknown nature with his father. being very secretive as to some form of romantic feeling for someone which only Toph has figured out thus far.
very clever. as long as you don't hammer it in you could make a pretty decent standalone story out of this alone.
now, the full review, seeing as i haven't reviewed this yet and within 2 chapters this story had instantly turned into one of my favourites, and instantly turned you into one of my favourite authors on this site.
since i started writing i have been striving to master two things, the Butterfly effect, and character voice, elaborating the former, deviations from canon, by their very nature should lead to MORE deviations from canon, AKA, the world is not static, the actions of characters actually have weight and mean something. and for the latter, every character feels distinct and has their own personality, which comes through in their actions, their dialogue and their general interaction with others.
you. have absolutely NAILED these two aspects. with
you also do a great job of adapting the ATLA world into a more mature, adult one. without going overboard and making it dark, gritty and sucking all the humour and light out of it.
You've kind of added the detail which the series couldn't have, (due to time allocation within episodes and due to the fact that the series needed to be at least suitable for a 7 audience.)
emotions are genuine, character interaction is damn near perfect, (the ways in which you're slowly building emotional distance between Katara and Aang are fantastic)
my only complaint is that maybe you're focusing a BIT too much on the building Zutara plotline, it's been pretty much four chapters straight focusing on Katara and Zuko, which is still a good story, but i'm just saying it could use a bit more of a cutaway soon for the sake of variety.
also, bit of a nitpick, the Homophobia aspect was a bit too hammered in. don't get me wrong, it's a good addition, but i think you straw-manned the Earth Kingdom stance a bit too much, to the point where it never even needed explaining that they were in the wrong.
not that it's easy to make a Homophobe's argument sound like anything other than illogical nonsense.
so far, an easy 10/10 really looking forward to seeing much more.
| Aaliyah92 chapter 12 . 2/7
Just reread this whole story and I've enjoyed it immensely! I'm not saying to rush the Zutara, because a slower pace is indeed more believable. But I do feel it's about time Katara and Aang called it quits. How does he expect Katara to not settle down until she's thirty?! They're not on the same wavelength at all. Hope you'll get the chance to update soon :-)
| Forever-Furuba chapter 11 . 1/30
I'm going to submit my guess that the 'mysterious conspirators' are the Dai Li agents Azula banished, who then disappeared. As for their leader, it's either whichever of those seven agents was in charge, Long Feng, or an original character of your invention. Or maybe Ozai, but I'm pretty sure he's in the tower prison on the capital island, not 'somewhere far, far away' from it. Or, in a random thought that just now occured to me, Arnook or someone else from the Northern Water Tribe, still out for revenge. It doesn't make sense that they'd know as much about Earth Kingdom or Fire Nation culture as implied in the next chapter, but they could have spies. Is Zhao dead in this timeline? It could be Zhao. You've let a male pronoun slip while describing whoever's in charge, so it isn't a secretly-sane-after-all Azula ...
Oh, it's so obvious! It's Tom-Tom, from the future, trying to usurp the Fire Nation throne from his nephew! (Joking.)
Katara was very clever to come up with a way to avoid rushing the search for a new wet-nurse if anything did happen to her. Of course, if Aang finds out about the stored milk, he might start urging her to take a vacation from minding Roku to come travelling with him, which would cause strain on their relationship. It's already been hinted at that those two are starting to discover they have very different ideas about what the future holds for them. Finding out just how different their expectations are could be the breaking point, or at least the catalyst for it.
Sokka's character has always been an interesting one with his contradictory traits. He is at once a fearsome warrior dedicated to the wellbeing of those he loves, and a fun-loving boy who enjoys the good and frivolous parts of life, and a cynical young man with a life touched by tragedy and biting back rather than letting the pain show through. Thank you for including all of these aspects of who he is in your writing instead of going the usual route of showing only one or two of these things.
Even though she died early on in this story, I was interested in your interpretation of Mai and her relationships with others, particularly her family. I am glad to be reading a story treating her death as the traumatic event such things are, rather than a side note to exuse shoving together the characters of a preferred couple.
| BlueStar Sapphire - ProtoZero chapter 12 . 1/25
I'm thoroughly enjoying Sacrifices and Promises to Keep. Both fics have what I like to see in a fan story, a fair bit going on while not entirely focus on the pairings (I get bored of stories where the characters monologue about their love all the time) along with exploration of culture.
If its isn't too much to ask I'd like to hear about how you figured how the air nomad culture would have lived? Considering I had wanted to know about their way of life but the show didn't give an me a whole awe full lot info on them. (along with the other cultures)
| sadladybug chapter 12 . 1/23
Three cheers for social justice in an AtLA story! I really liked this chapter (and the story as a whole so far, I regret that this is the first time I've been able to review) and I'm interested to see where it goes from here. I was very excited to see that this story had been updated. You have a knack for attention to detail, your characterization is spot-on, and your world-building is both plausible and enjoyable to read. I hope that 2014 is a better year for you!
| Peace215 chapter 12 . 1/22
I'd sign in but this computer just ain't working it.
I have to say - I LOVED this chapter. Coming from someone who likes reading/ understanding war and propaganda I completely understand where you're coming from with Sozin's reasoning. You're right that he said the Fire Nation should share their greatness - and that propaganda would spread to show how great the Fire Nation was and why they should take over another country. Absolutely it happens all the time in our world - what's so wrong with it happening in another world?
Not only that, but the fact you had the Earth Kingdom oppose gay relations, makes sense to me. Not that I'm saying that country seems harsh, but look at the Fire Nation. Men and women fought together - water tribes did not. Men left to fight and women stayed behind (we know of these challenges because of Katara and her issues even in the Northern tribe; and adding into the hunting party tidbit just sounds right given their culture as spoken from Sokka). The Air nomads were peaceful and the Earth Kingdom is "traditional" as well. Men fought and women basically did not.
To go off these showings in the series, it would make sense to have them anti-gay and to like foot binding and the like. They're traditional. Fire Nation is progressive - and not because they wanted to be or because they were the right nation. War creates progression out of necessity. Whereas they moved forward so they could conquer, Earth Kingdom stuck to their core beliefs because they were on the defensive. This causes rifts between them more so than before the war - as seen from the bar incident.
If this doesn't make sense, I apologize. I just like how you spilt up different point of views based on their cultures as seen in glimpses in the show. I think you did just fine with it.
I also like how it's a slow progression - you're showing life outside of trouble and life with trouble. Everything is moving at a good pace - not a quick throw together. You have a great writing ability and it's wonderful to read.
Sorry to hear 2013 wasn't the greatest- I think it was a sentiment felt by all, including myself. Hopefully 2014 works out and we see more from you! Good luck!
| Geminia chapter 12 . 1/20
Love this story!
| lawliness chapter 12 . 1/20
Nah,I dont have a issue with u writing a short part about homophobia. Its not like ur rambling on and on and blahblahblah about it. Well,the ending left a cliffhanger :( eager to know what are the rebels gonna do next. Are they trying to get Katara or Zuko or whoever, cause katara was indirectly metioned twice in their little chat.
| lawliness chapter 11 . 1/20
Great story so far and i like ur writing length its defitnately better n longer than other ’s a fun fact: Human milk which after a period of time turns into blood. I know i know...its disgusting right?but its a good thing u wrote it was in a freezer,otherwise it most probably would have become blood
| Guest chapter 12 . 1/19
I like this story a lot. I fully agree with your war reasons logic. But, the necklaces could have at least started out as a symbol of something good-a tangible sign of love. And it takes a bit of effort to carve a necklace. I'm not saying they are a good thing later, but it doesn't seem any worse than ring giving to me.
| TexasDreamer01 chapter 12 . 1/19
I like how you implemented all those issues, and the way you set them to each individual nation. It makes sense that the Fire Nation wouldn't be homophobic (at least compared to the other peoples) - they're islanders, and islanders typically don't give a damn. You manage to make nice parallels with nations/tribes of the real world - like foot binding in the Earth Kingdom, like China.
I am wondering how Katara's going to treat all of her gifts. Iroh's will certainly be well-used, but I think Sokka and Suki's gift and Aang's gift would end up clashing with each other - I can't imagine how nun's robes would fare to hidden weaponry. Zuko's boots I have not a doubt in the world that Katara will wear proudly and promptly wear out as soon as possible.
| snarkhunter chapter 12 . 1/19
I hardly ever (remember to) review, but I really, really hate it when authors find themselves on the defensive because they represent something even slightly "controversial" (b/c apparently relationships between consenting adults are something too many contemporary cultures find 'controversial'). While I did wonder if your representation of the problem between the cultures was slightly heavy-handed, I felt like overall you did a great job with it, and it was absolutely NO MORE heavy-handed than the footbinding chapter. You do a great job depicting culture clashes in all your fics-it's a hallmark of your writing, as your author's note points out-and if this seemed heavy-handed, I think it's only because this is a topic that contemporary readers are actually familiar with and that some people are uncomfortable with. (In other words, I think it only struck me as heavy-handed b/c it's a familiar discourse, and you had to present it in a 101 sort of way b/c that's how it needed to happen in the story.)
The negative responses you've gotten tell me that this part of the story is absolutely vital. True equality will never happen as long as the presence of LGBTQ characters or discussions of the pernicious effects of bigotry are quashed because of responses like, "I'm fine with it as long as they keep it secret" or "as long as its not in my face."
Thank you for being "in our faces."
| teacupdestiny chapter 12 . 1/19
As a writer, I think it could have been handled a little more smoothly. It did bother me from a religious view point, and maybe that made it more in-my-face than it could have otherwise been.
| inuyasha's tennyo chapter 12 . 1/19
... I'm so sorry to hear that people were so negative! I had meant to review earlier to tell you how much I enjoyed this chapter, particularly insight to sexual culture. I love it when ATLA fic writers dive into cultural differences between the nations, and really feel that by doing so the story becomes so much more insightful, multilayered and less juvenile. so, brilliant chapter!
| Beloved Daughter chapter 12 . 1/19
Wow. That was quite the lengthy author's note. Good points all. I rather liked the different perspectives of the three different cultures. I particularly loved how Zuko and everyone else handled the situation. It's rather genius of them really.
Sorry to hear life's been rough. :( I hope life gets better for you.
I look forward to seeing what will happen next.