|Reviews for And a Hard Place|
| Jetstream2018 chapter 1 . 7/24/2014
Just got the pun, well played haha. But a good story nonetheless.
| Robotech-Master chapter 1 . 5/23/2011
This is a well-written shorter piece, and an interesting exploration of the reactions of the ponies to an unexpected situation. You get Fluttershy mostly right, though as that other viewer commented there's not as much of her being shy as there might be.
Given how many other D&D monsters are around in this world, it makes sense there would be rocs, too, and it's the perfect thing to bring out the nurturer in Fluttershy big (big big!) time.
I do seem to recall rocs are really supposed to be carnivorous...but then, in the My Little Pony world even weasels apparently eat veggies. :)
| Bluemew22 chapter 1 . 5/10/2011
HA Love the pun.
| HolyDemonSnappendragon chapter 1 . 5/10/2011
ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVEN'T MADE ANY FANFICTIONS BEFORE THIS ONE?
I am a very suspicious person right now.
Just playing, this was really good.
| HeatWave chapter 1 . 5/10/2011
A very different nature of a story when compared to Moonbeam, but an interesting premise nonetheless.
After all, every other mythological creature seems to exist somewhere in Equestria, why not rocs too? Granted, what do you do when a fifteen food bird makes a lodging in your office?
Of course, you call Fluttershy!
Of the four main cast that you use here you get their personalities pretty well (though, I'll admit, I still preferred your take on Pinkie Pie in your last story... that was top notch!). It flowed well, and when reading I couldn't keep each character's voice out of my head as I read their individual parts, with the sole exception of Big Mac, who doesn't have many speaking parts throughout the series, so him being such a talker here seemed a bit off. I always imagined he'd keep his sentences short and too the point, but lack of any real evidence of that leaves it open to interpretation. At least you managed to get in a few good 'E-yup's in there.
And now for the stars of the show, Fluttershy and Applejack. You actually hit Applejack pretty dead on. Her 'handling' of the Cutie Mark Crusaders was as particular scene that stuck out at me, and it was nicely done.
I may be a bit more critical of Fluttershy's performance, but she's my favorite, so don't take it personal. In all honesty there weren't really any points that I would claim were 'out of character', just a general lack of Fluttershy being, well, Fluttershy, that is to say; cute and terrified. The one moment you sneaked that in, when she was first taken to the barn and nearly backed herself back home, was probably my favorite part, and itself was well done. A few more moments like that would have placated me, but alas. I understand that's not really what you wanted to focus on here.
On the whole, the story seemed to lack a truly antagonistic element. Yes a 15 foot bird suddenly appeared in the Apple Family Barn, but once they got around the problem of feeding it, everything seemed to flow a little too smoothly. Maybe some crazy antics while they were trying to placate the Roc to begin with might have given it a bit more of a sense of difficulty and/or seriousness of the situation, giving the reader a more satisfied feeling when they finally DO managed to make friends with the bird.
The ending was nicely done though, with Rainbow Dash helping to get the bird flying again, and you portrayed the excitement of Ponyville at having such a rare guest rather well. Fluttershy not wanting to say goodbye as well as the final scene with the roc flying away were also well done, and it made a nice wrap-up to the story.
So, an enjoyable read, just a bit empty, at least in my humble opinion.
Also, there are a few typographical errors here and there, and since you asked me to nitpick last time... well, here goes. Just remember that this isn't a criticism on the story, merely pointing out some errors in writing that happen to us all.
In the third paragraph you used the phrase 'despite of'. This should be either 'despite' or 'in spite of' as the phrase 'despite of' is rather redundant.
The fourth paragraph starts with the word 'and'. This is generally unnecessary.
A divider between the first two scenes could probably be used.
As Fluttershy is cleaning up after the storm, one of your sentences reads “she started to do what she could to help replace it and repair the birdhouses that she could.” Nothing really wrong here, but it's a bit of an awkward read, you might consider revising it.
When Applejack and Big Mac light the barn for Fluttershy and Twilight to get a look at the roc for the first time, you use the phrase 'barn's roof tall'. I'm sure you meant 'barn's tall roof'.
In the fifth to last paragraph the sentence reads "We may get to see him again someday down the road again too." Repeated use of the word 'again' makes this a bit of an awkward read, so you might want to consider revising that as well.
Anyway, I really do like your writing style, and your take on the world of Equestria, so I'm glad to see you're churning these out! Can't wait to see what you come up with next!