|Reviews for Stalker|
| SilentSambo88 chapter 4 . 5/7/2014
Hmm, may as well review all four chapters at once... I'm not really good at posting longer reviews, but oh well.
- It amuses me that Chapter 1 accounts for roughly half of the word count in this story so far, due in no small part to the lemon. Very nice job on it, BTW. It is very rare for one to have absolutely no smut elements whatsoever, from what I can tell, and yet yours pulls it off marvelously.
The lead-up to that scene was also hilarious. "With that, the boy made his way to the main gates of the village to pick up his stalker..." - That line slays me. The writing of the lead-up to intimacy is generally as important to the scene as the actual lemon content itself, if not more important, and the humor, while it would be off-putting for other pairings, just fits Naruto's character so well. In all, I'd rank it as one of the ten best Naru/Hina lemons on this site.
However, I, like other reviewers, feel that Iruka should have had a red warning light go off in his head when Naruto told him about the dream he shared with Hinata. The fact this didn't happen and he didn't report it to the Hokage suggests to me that Iruka trusts Naruto more than Hiruzen.
- As others pointed out, Chapter 2 is the "worst" of the four chapters due to certain inconsistencies in the chapter. Hinata already confessed in Chapter 1, so why did she feel like she wasn't ready to reassert her feelings?
- Chapter 3 was a bit rough on the feels at the start. Poor Hinata...it's pretty bad when you're physically unable to survive giving in to those needs. However, the healthy dose of fluff more than offset any disappointment. The more I read this and other decent-quality fics that modify Hinata's pre-Chūnin Exam Finals pep talk to have Naruto assert his love for her at the end, the more I hate how Kishimoto's editors pushed forward the Naru/Saku/Sasu love triangle and didn't let him get Naruto and Hinata hooked up sooner, which, IIRC, was something Kishi had originally intended when he first designed Hinata.
- And at last, we get to the uncertainty felt in Chapter 4. As a reader, I would feel a sense of loss should Naruto's victory over Neji (at least, I assume he will win as he did in canon) result in the loss of the blood bond. Due to the situation with the Hyūga clan, losing that bond would make it significantly harder for our favorite couple to continue their secret romance. Sure, beating Neji in the canon was the spark that started the Hyūgas changing for the better, but it's a bit of a long stretch to assume that Hiashi would be JnJ'd enough to approve of the Naru/Hina pairing right away.
Also, LOL Jiraiya. I may hate his character with a passion due to the totality of his failure in the role of Naruto's godfather, but he's still good for laughs. Actually getting under Orochimaru's skin in that way...priceless.
- Ultimately, however, I'm hesitant to see this updated. While the current chapter ends in a cliffhanger of sorts, at the same time it's entirely possible for this to be considered a good stop point. There are two reasons for my hesitance in this. First, is wondering how much the fight would mimic canon and how much it would deviate. Since Naruto knows about the Shadow Clone memory transfer in this, I would imagine he'd fare somewhat better than Neji than he did in canon, but still be fighting an uphill battle. Second is, admittedly, an attempt to deny my inner Pervy Sage (something that I imagine wouldn't be an easy feat for anyone), since I'm thoroughly convinced that at least one more lemon is guaranteed later on. If I were to prioritize my request for chapter updates, it'd go, in order, The Great Cover-Up, Naruto-Sempai, Meeting Your Demon, Two Lonely Children, Chigan, THEN this fic.
| gummy b3ars chapter 4 . 4/11/2014
Update soon :)
| llazo4108824 chapter 4 . 6/18/2013
I love this fanfic so could you make more chapters.
| Guest chapter 4 . 5/19/2013
Awesome story, please update as soon as possible ! I love it !
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/19/2013
"the boy made his way to the main gates of the village to pick up his stalker"
I lol'ed, this phrase is just so awesome !
| RexBlazer1 chapter 4 . 4/5/2013
I hope you're not giving up on this story, it's really interesting, and I would like to see what happens next.
| DRARKER chapter 1 . 4/5/2013
| chaos267 chapter 4 . 1/25/2013
Interesting very interesting that was a nice little read can't wait for more
| ili777 chapter 4 . 1/15/2013
That was really awesome, though a bit weird because they are only 13 and already want to have sex
love the lemon btw
| ranneal chapter 4 . 10/30/2012
I like the the bit of uncertainty that you threw in about losing the bond if Naruto completes his vow. I really look forward to an update and the continuation of this very imaginative fanfic. Thanks for writing.
| ranneal chapter 3 . 10/30/2012
Great chapter...as they talk things over and now are a couple. The whole idea of the dream meetings and bond is so cool.
| ranneal chapter 2 . 10/30/2012
This is a cool story. Great creative concept that is just fun to think about. Their thoughts have linked up...I can't wait to find out HOW:) This chapter took them a bit further in their relationship.
| ranneal chapter 1 . 10/29/2012
Superb plot and just a great story idea! Nice long chapter that sure moves the story along...beyond just the setting and into soooo many events that quickly make this a very deep,fun fanfic. I like this 'well thought out' chapter...it is super well written...I will read on.
| Cemalidor chapter 4 . 10/5/2012
Hope you will continue this. :) Decided to comment not before reading the (so far) latest chapter and i have to say that your writing carry some deepness others are missing. It's not only about the horizental Tango, but the 'feelings' as well. Good work, keep it up.
| ten195 chapter 1 . 9/11/2012
omg! i havent reached the other chapters, an you already have me on the edge of my seat. this story is really gooooooooooooooooooooood! omg!