|Reviews for Love|
| Terrahfry chapter 1 . 5/29/2011
Aweh. That's cute. Jay being Adam's pillow when Jeff's not there to be. Jay, you be still. Adam needs a comfy lap to curl up in. & yours is the second best lap I like him curled up in. & I love the position they're in. Esp Jay pushing Adam's hair back behind his ear.
N'aww, Jay knows him so well. He's not only anticipating the call, but he gets up & instantly starts hunting for his shoes. & I adore their bond & friendship. Adam needs companionship. He needs Jay when he's lonely. It's so sweet. I don't think he's ever inconvenienced Jay. Jay would not put up w/ him if it were.
Adam's so sweet. & Jay's so perfect & responsible.
And Jay's got goodies xD
Aweh, & Jay's got ice cream. Of course ;)
*giggles* I like the concept of Adam sprawled all over Jay. Oh, so that's why Adam's not sleep. Jeffy called. O, yus. Adam would know, Jay. Adam always knows, lol.
"Jeffy," he murmured as he shifted around to get comfortable. Jay stopped him from falling off the couch and began to run his fingers through Adam's hair." *squeals* It's so adorable!
& from Jay to Jeff. Adam's like a big ole petted house cat.
They're all so sweet. Loved this little piece.
| BlackDiamonds.32.20.54 chapter 1 . 5/10/2011
so cute. Adam being all clingy and Jay just happens to be there for him, and Jay even brings him ice cream. Cute. I like the way you write Adam, it makes you want to cuddle him.
| ilzehs chapter 1 . 5/10/2011
Again, I appreciate the characterization. Even though the writing is not perfect, its at least a good try to follow a different direction. Your plot, characterization, theme & general idea is wonderful, but I can give you some pointers as far as the writing goes in order to improve your quality of work. & since your new, you definitely have a lot of capacity to grow.
Your taking inspirations from wonderful authors here, which is a good thing. Just as long as you can keep your own flavor & touch to a story, & not basically go in the line of copying something which can be unintentional sometimes, your doing okay. Just be very careful. & the writers you read grow constantly. Which basically shows you have desire to become a writer that can be different & improved with every single step.
There is one other thing, try to precise your sentences. When they get too long, it hurts the flow. Make proper usage of comas, & other stuff. Grammar isn't as much important as is to convey your message in a convenient way. Plus, read as much stuff as you can. That'll only help you find new & proper ways to write more maturely.
Now, onto the positive things, I absolutely love E&C whether they are slashy, or just friendly. Their bond in just too beautiful, & what u tried to explain in this shot is exactly how E&C works in my mind. Christian will always be there for Adam. I enjoy them as friend almost as much as I enjoy them as lovers. & you characterized them so cutely, just like they should always be.
Hehe, Jedam is always a good thing. & the last scene left me smiling so widely. I'm a sap lol. But it was utterly cute...Adam being pampered & spoiled is always utterly cute. He should be loved on & taken care of by everyone. I love how you have made him the center of the attention. He's usually an after thought which is so so very sad. But you are writing him like an important thing. Which he sure is.
Also, I love this shade of Adam being needy & clingy. Its different & kinda touchy. He was so cute when he was trying to ask Jay to come yet was trying to not beg lol. I love him like this. Pouty, needy, touchy Adam is the best.
A good try. I hope you take my suggestion as constructive criticism. I want you to write more Adam like this. Its well needed in the slash world for people to give him proper work & effort.