|Reviews for Short Stories|
| Its Just Jess chapter 2 . 9/15
Damn, that was stunningly sad. Loved the way you described their deaths, with the gore and the sorrow to come with it. God damn though, my brows creased with sadness at Coachs' death, and I had a sad expression when it came to Ellis, just because you captured him perfectly. Since Ellis is young, always smiling you can tell that if he was to lose it, he wouldn't know what to do or who he was or what he was living for, so you did a good job on his character.
Ah...Nicks' character emotions, feelings, etc were great. I loved how you captured him actually caring without him saying anything. As in you couod tell he cared about Ellis because he told him he'd be okay, yet he knew that he wouldn't be. You showed his caring and heart broken side without actually saying any words, whch is a good talent in writing.
| readingxforever chapter 6 . 8/17/2012
Wow... some of that was depressing... but I just LOVE mad world. One to the greatest songs ever
And the stories are pretty brilliant albeit a bit angsty...
| x Pipkin x chapter 6 . 7/7/2012
No one died. That's new. xD
Good job incorporating the lyrics into the "memories" of the L4D2 crew. It fit like a glove.
| x Pipkin x chapter 5 . 7/7/2012
I really like these short stories of yours. xD Makes it kinda fun with how absolutely tragic it is. What new ways can you possibly go about ending their lives? lol
I'm not too good at first person either, but I understand what you mean when mentally writing it in first person, only to transcribe it to third when writing.
| x Pipkin x chapter 4 . 7/7/2012
I liked this one. Such emotion flowing forth, drowning these two characters into death.
The ending reminded me of a poem I read somewhere. I'm trying to remember what it was.
| x Pipkin x chapter 3 . 7/6/2012
Sadomasochism smut is delectable, indeed. xD
One thing I'd change in here, however, is the sentence "I mean, he did just lose ten-grand." Since the story's in third person, suddenly adding first person is very out of place. A suitable replacement would be something along the lines of "For all intents and purposes, blah blah blah."
Still, a wicked read. ;) There are some sentences that could use some tidying up, as well as punctuation. (I notice that sometimes Ellis' name will have that apostrophe when there is no sense of possession being used, as well as it lacking when there is ownership, if that makes sense).
| x Pipkin x chapter 2 . 7/6/2012
See, playing Last Man on Earth was horrendous for me. xD I couldn't make it in any of them due to these deaths right at the start of the campaigns:
1. I'd either be trounced by a Jockey or Hunter.
2. After going into black and white mode, I'd run as fast as I can after killing said Special infected.
3. I'd immediately die at the hands of either a Charger, Smoker, or another Hunter.
I never even got to a part with a Tank. XD Show's how much I need teammates. ._.;;
I like how you whipped this up from that Mutation. It played out nicely.
| x Pipkin x chapter 1 . 7/6/2012
That's the sort of thing that you figure would happen. I know it'd be just my luck to get into the zombie apocalypse, fall head over heels for someone, get into a relationship with them during our escape, and then die at the hands of scientists and doctors after struggling so hard to survive, while said lover is left to live his life. xD
Sad, but an enjoyable short story none the less.
| CoralMaiden chapter 1 . 5/19/2012
You don't want to hear it? Maybe you'll read it instead? I'm just kidding of course. I don't have a problem with it, but did you really have to make Nick a carrier? God, Poor Ellis... he's lost so much already! Anyways, it sounded like memories at the beginning which confused me until I got to the end and then it was like... aw... again? It made me kinda sad, but in the written world anything is possible... anything at all
| DesertStranger chapter 6 . 12/9/2011
The whole time I was reading this last chapter I kept thinking "man these lyrics sound so familiar!" but I couldn't recall who it was. Then right at the end when you said who it was it all came back to me lol. When ever I hear this song it always makes me think of Gears of War. xD
I enjoy your writing very much. I remember reading some of your old stories before I even had an account here on
The whole sulfur taste on his lips thing I'm not so sure about. If they were firing in an inclosed space with no ventalation then you'll be able to smell the gunfire and taste it but if they were outside moving around or running from infected then I'd think they would taste dirt and salty sweat on their lips more than anything else. Maybe even old blood but I think that's even pushing it a tad bit far. Hope that helps a bit. I'm no gun expert but my family owns and uses guns sometimes. I'll ask my dad when I see him next time cause he was in the military and handle fire arms more than I have.
| NellisBaby234 chapter 1 . 12/8/2011
that is fucking sad... im crying now!
| LeontinaStardust chapter 5 . 6/15/2011
Aside from the smutty chapter (which was both hot and well written) these are all so sad but in a beautiful way. I'm such a sucker for angst and you pull it off so well :)
| Leo Marie Octavian chapter 5 . 6/12/2011
Don't hate on your first person writings. First person rocks this world. :L
And dammit, stop making me sad! Write... Happier one-shots... :c
| JazzyRedBird chapter 1 . 5/14/2011
aw :'( thats so sad!
so adorable! :)
but so sad! :(
i loved it! especially how you made the emotions so REAL!
NELLIS FOREVER! 3
| Leo Marie Octavian chapter 1 . 5/12/2011
I really liked this, but it killed my mood to write sex that didn't end with sadness. Even so, I still like this. I like all of your stuff, though. You're just too good. ;_;