|Reviews for The Final Blow|
| Dark Para chapter 1 . 6/8/2002
This story has some potential. Detail it here and there. Kind of a bit vague in my opinnion. Also Like said before, mafia don't surrond some one. They just turn and fire their guns. No hesitatian. Also toni isn't dumb enough to just send two men with him, much less agree to such terms. Try and make the next chapter longer and more GTA3 like. I really think you could do something with this story. Don't mind the people that flame and keep on trying.
| MDdew626 chapter 1 . 5/3/2002
Ok for one when the mafia kills some one they dont drive up and surrond someone (in the middle of town) so every body sees and grab him screaming im going to kill you they plan it and have one guy kill him where no one will really notice and put them in the trunk or somwthing and berry him franlky this story blows
| Silent Jake chapter 1 . 4/7/2002
This cannot happen in GTA3. Unless Tony was a stupid retard. No offence to mentally retarted people. He wouldn't just let the guy go if he said he would kill the triads. One guy can't kill the triads. And when he tried won't they kill him because he's got two mafia guys with him? Search your soul and revise this immediatly. Shoo!
| FerrariMaster chapter 1 . 4/4/2002
No offence but this story isnt that good. There are a lot of gramatical errors, and the story really doesnt make sense. I'm trying to be nice, but you really have to rethink what you wrote cause it doesnt make sense. Tony would never let the guy go just like that *snaps finger*. First of all he wouldn't even talk to the guy he would just shoot him. I hope you are adding more and if you do, make it gramatically correct and make the plot better, cause so far it doesnt even seem like a plot.
| Mr.Mister chapter 1 . 4/3/2002
No offence, but this story isnt that good. grammar is ok, but it doesnt really make sense. theres no such thing as a normal criminal and the whole mafia is like millions of people. U should just change these things and it'll be better.
| Trigger202 chapter 1 . 4/3/2002
ok it is so short, also im sure only 1 guy can kill 200 armed triad guys. Also where did the story take place and there isnt enoguh room in Tony's restaurant for the WHOLE mafia. Well to sum up what im saying is that this story sucks.
| XeroHour chapter 1 . 4/3/2002
Uh... what is this fic supposed to do to me, make me cry or something?
A little piece of advice that might work. Things aren't this straightforward, in real life, or in anything at all. People don't let people go like that, "Uh, why won't we kill you.." "Uh because I'll kill the triads." "Deal..."
Has that ever happened? And what's with the fact that the Mafia has the ability to track this guys every move, and show up the second he comes back to Liberty?
Just some advice. Rewrite the first chapter, add some depth, lose the grammatical errors, rethink your plot. That or scrap the story.
| DirtyMonk chapter 1 . 4/3/2002
The *real* Final Blow should be inflicted on the author for not checking over this story! Revise! Read over what you wrote! You've got tense problems, comma problems, fragmented sentences, and misspellings!
And what's with the lack of description? Tony Cipriani should give YOU the final blow for your lack of description and coherent reasoning in his appearance in the story. Fix this story quick...or else you're going to be getting some flames. Not by me, but by many, many other readers.
| Dan The Man Bogosian chapter 1 . 4/2/2002
| FinalFantasyDude chapter 1 . 4/2/2002
sorry but jordans fics are better! there are so many grammer errors that i got lost in the story, please rewrite it so its understandable