|Reviews for Through the eyes of a snake|
| Kitsune95 chapter 9 . 6/7/2011
Awesome story i like how it's going, but i think you need to Temper Naruto's additude with a good relationship, so he doesn't go traitor, maybe for the time being since Karin ain't in the story again, and will probly hold that spot, (i'm sorry you're forshadowing could be better without lines like "future wife") like a strong kakashi/Naruto sensei/student relationship, or more like a father/son relationship? and when will Naruto get the Snake Summoning Contract? and will he also have the Toad? or just the Snake? and what about Sasuke? these 3 are like mini sannin, so changing their roles, changes a LOT of things, this story, will REALLY take off from cannon soon, how soon is up to you though.
| InARealPickle chapter 9 . 6/6/2011
[To all of those who were critiquing about how I did the whole Ayame subject, well I agree with you. It was the only way that I could think of to do this and yet still make it remotely realistic.]
...And that says a LOT about the kind of person you are. Seriously, your only solution was prostitution?
Thank about that for a minute.
Geeze, I hate to get personal on the net, but what the hell kind of home life do you have?
That's just messed up.
| InARealPickle chapter 8 . 6/6/2011
That was retarded.
You have a tendency to double talk.
First the Hokage didn't want Naruto to get stronger because he secretly blamed Naruto for his wife's death.
Then in the very next chapter the Hokage is claiming that he cares for Naruto like a grandchild and is thrilled that Naruto is getting stronger.
It's like you don't pay attention to what you are writing. That's only one of several examples.
The most recent example being Ayame blaming Naruto's lack of business for her having to sell her body. (can we say personal choice?) Then she turns around in the very next paragraph and blames Naruto for visiting her restaurant for their lack of sales.
So which is it? Are they hurting financially because he shops there, or because he doesn't?
Technically, if his presence was hurting the shop, then their business should have improved during the past 2 months he wasn't there. Thus, Ayame would not have had to search out other employment.
And I'm sorry, but Ayame is a stupid tramp. There are a million ways to make money that don't require selling your body. But she goes straight to wh0ring herself out?
I just lost all respect for her character.
One last thing. You must be a guy. Why else would you keep writing that various female characters are in a bad mood because they are about to have, are on, or just had their period.
You sound like an uneducated moron.
According to your reasoning, all women are in a perpetually bad mood, and it's always because of their menstrual cycle.
Yeah, you're an idiot.
| InARealPickle chapter 5 . 6/6/2011
English can't possibly be your first language. Your grammar is extremely spotty in places. You constantly mix up homophones. You use other words incorrectly. Your sentence structures are really awkward in places... like a person who didn't grow up speaking English and so does not have all the rules internalized.
Get a BETA! Your inability to wrote proficiently is ruining an otherwise decent story.
Also, mutton is sheep, not goat.
You are supposedly from Australia. Shouldn't you know that? It's one of your bigger exports.
| aprilliarsv chapter 9 . 6/6/2011
Great chapter update soon
| JK10 chapter 9 . 6/6/2011
I must adnit i like this story alot. I don't see too many stories like this.I do hope Naruto makes it up to Ayame some how like dropping off some money to the family. i can see orochi in Naruto. Is this a harem i highly doubt it. hmm but anywhough i do like the portrayal of Naruto and karin. if it is a harem who would you add? dont matter. I do want to see eNaruto verses Sasuke keep writing. if you ever get a chance can u read my story
| karthik9 chapter 9 . 6/6/2011
it is excellent chapter i look forward to future updates
| saiyan prince1 chapter 9 . 6/6/2011
well well. i wonder how this will affect the story down the line... i wonder i wonder
| Nero Strauss chapter 9 . 6/5/2011
I found the way you handled the wave arc to be much more believable compared to the actual manga. All in all it was a good chapter.
| Cherrie-san chapter 9 . 6/5/2011
I have to say I really do like the unique way you are approaching Naruto, and his character in general. As for the pairing I was at first like 'Karin- her really, ew' but I have to say I really like your portrayal of her, it makes her a much more likable character.
I will be eagerly awaiting the chance to read more of this.
| Anttolas chapter 9 . 6/5/2011
well i gotta say, the small wave arc makes me worried about Tazunas country, but to take the story a diffrent way makes it interesting, i will be seeing you next chapter:)
| MKTerra chapter 9 . 6/5/2011
Clearly, you are indeed an idiot. I could major in English, and yet you still wordlessly refuse to take my advice for your writing skills. You are an idiot of the highest caliber. Apparently, with all the "ur awsome" and "yor stori is grate" reviews has gone to your head and this has given you an inflated opinion of your English abilities. Even I, one who is confident in his abilities in English, listens to sound advice. And yet, you fail to do so. I will be letting you know this every chapter from now on until it reaches a satisfactory level. Im not going to tell you what it is anymore, since I already have. Youve seriously earned my ire.
| Spirina chapter 9 . 6/5/2011
God bless you that you didn t do the the wave arc. It was nice for once to see someone do something different. Continue your fic this way i like it
| Hades252 2 chapter 9 . 6/5/2011
A great update, I like how you deviated from the Wave Mission and moved onto a fairly original storyline. Though, I wonder what kind of fallout the abandoned mission will have, Tazuna will most likely be killed and Zabuza will easily complete his contract with Gato, and if Gato tries to be greedy and sends mercenaries after him will most likely be killed and have his assets taken by Zabuza, which would leave the surviving mercenaries with nothing and would probably result in the village being ransacked and destroyed wiping Wave Country off the face of the Elemental Countries.(Omoi moment, sorry LOL!) Anyway, a great update and I look forward to the next.
| noshadowone chapter 9 . 6/5/2011
To bad about not having a bridge him but it would of been a good mission if you had him take out zabuza for th3 bounty he banked and had money to help out ichiraku