Reviews for Beat the System
5.56X45 chapter 1 . 5/30/2016
Nice adaptation of Barriss's at the beginning of order 66. I wish more people did stories like this. Make more stories please.
potentialauthor18 chapter 1 . 9/12/2013
Let me first say that this deserves more reviews. It was very touching and emotional. I'll probably be checking that story out sometime. Great job.
Blue Raspberry Boy chapter 1 . 2/5/2012
You did a great job of showing all that must be going through a clone's mind when he receives the Order 66. It showed the side to that episode in Star Wars that the movie never even touched, and I find it very tragic that the clones were forced to turn on the Jedi. In Deck's case, I love how you ended the story, although it was heartbreaking that he died for her. Keep writing! :)
bonnaire chapter 1 . 9/10/2011
I really love this. Deck (wipes tear). Such a good description of his thoughts and realizations. I do hope that Bariss ends up in When Night Falls.

Slade1987 chapter 1 . 5/29/2011
You know as soon as I started reading the names of the troopers involved I began to pause.

Having just read the wikia page for Barriss Offee I saw where this was going, and then you pulled the rug out from under me.

Very nicely done.
DoubleEO chapter 1 . 5/20/2011
Very nice. I love it! :'( Deck died. WAHHH! Barriss lived :D
Queen chapter 1 . 5/14/2011
Great companion piece to 'Sisters'. It was nice to see how Deck turned out after the Mustafar mission, and that he was able to make that break and decide for himself what was right. And Barriss' scene at the end was lovely, trying to comfort him and to figure out what was happening. They both feel much more mature than they did in 'Sisters'. Great oneshot!
CNQ chapter 1 . 5/14/2011
YAY! I liked this story very much! You are a Christian? Cool! I thought you got the clone very well and I actually could feel what his thoughts were!
laloga chapter 1 . 5/14/2011
Nooooo...Deck! Sigh. I kind of saw it coming, but still...I am glad that you wrote this!

Deck's train of thought made sense and lead him to a logical conclusion, especially after his time spent talking to Rex; despite this, he still felt very "Deck-like." He's his own man, though I'm not sure he would have agreed. "Individuality was a lot harder than he thought." Perfect! very

Barriss' rescue was beautifully done, and I loved her soothing him at the end. The last line was particularly moving: "She was his legacy, and she would honor it." I also liked how you drew a comparison between the life of a clone and the life of a Jedi, though it felt like Deck didn't really *get* that; you hinted at it, which felt right, as he wouldn't have known too much about how Jedi were trained. They are, after all, "strange and otherworldly" to most of the clones.

A few *little* things I loved:

"She seemed to have a good relationship with Commander Bly – too good, if one believed the rumors that traveled the ranks of the troopers." This made me grin, for obvious reasons!

" took the tibanna out of his powerpack." Great line! Very Star Wars-y. (The "mynock's nest" was my runner up.)

This sentence really stuck out at me: "...Deck had played a large role in refining that efficiency, in oiling that slick, unstoppable juggernaut." Just beautifully done!

All in all, a lovely, if bittersweet, story. It must have been difficult to handle the death of a character like Deck, but you did a fantastic job. I look forward to reading more of "Grudges" as well!
shakespeareaddict chapter 1 . 5/14/2011
A bittersweet closure for a great character. I liked Deck, and I'm kinda sad that he's dead, but he died fighting. And not fighting "for the machine", but for something he chose himself. It was beautiful, the way it ended.