|Reviews for After the Death Curse|
| rp5620 chapter 10 . 3/8
keep going! don't let as die from anticipation!
| Walkazo chapter 8 . 10/24/2015
Only took me a month to finish this chapter - more free time, yay.
Anyway, wow, and here I thought these chapters couldn't get any more event-packed! I'm glad things weren't awkward between Davaria and Ayla, but I definitely didn't expect him to hook up with Janika instead. I have to agree with Jeeteria, tho - they decided to rush into a mating real fast, and it was a good idea of his to make them wait a year to make sure it sticks, especially considering that Davaria was just adopted to a new camp and needs to find his place among them first, before bringing another newcomer along.
I was also surprised that Jondaria and Ayla slept together. She's always been the monogamous sort, so it made sense that she'd feel really distressed as well as a bit curious; it was the most I empathized with her yet, even, since the thought of sleeping with anyone is upsetting to me, despite he fact that pairing up is "the world [ /I/ was] born to" - but my little bit of curiosity isn't enough to sway me, and I have no one pressuring me to (although I can understand why Grov did it). Overall, it was much better than the Ranec business that gave Ayla her only taste of polyandry in the books, from Ayla knowing she has a choice, to there not being any horrible fallout since Jondaria knew it was a one-time thing and Grov's so chill, to no one even saying anything about her break in habit after the fact - not even an inappropriate joke from Ivanolia. I also really liked how Jondaria made sure she was doing it freely instead of just jumping at her first nod of assent, unlike Ranec being too caught up in his fantasy becoming real to realize something was off with her.
As for the less-pleasant sex stuff, does it make me a horrible person if I wish that all serial rapists could have their balls trampled by a horse? Because I'm so glad that Zadneestia finally got what was coming to him - especially after he added more victims to his record. I was so horrified when I realized what was going to happen to Janika! Definitely didn't see that coming either... I say good riddance to the three camps breaking off, although I sorta worry we haven't seen the last of them... The Kazahskia - no mother being honoured by that name, but it makes sense seeing as how poorly they treat their women in general. I'm glad at least that Cedar Camp knew to stay with the others.
I actually liked this slightly different version of Ayla discovering the firestone better than the books - it's nice to have a friend there when you discover something (well, a friend who can share in your excitement and talk back to you, unlike a horse). I'm surprised they didn't make a big show of it when they got back, but perhaps they're saving that for the adoption - something just for Oak Camp to know for now, until they can go back to the valley next year and get more to share, maybe? I suppose the horses made a big enough splash anyway - literally, given the whole river ordeal. I'm glad the Sungaea were cool about the horses, and that the horses are cool with them too, for that matter. It's nice to see less "ooh my, she must be magic" of a reaction than Ayla always got in the books - maybe others will even try to get their own horses since it's been proven that a group of ordinary folks can do it, which is something I always wanted to see in the books, but never did.
Anyway, overall, this continues to be a great story! I enjoy every minute of it, and I'm honoured to have been mentioned in the author's notes at the beginning! I'm so happy parts 9 and 10 have been posted - looking forward to reading them! Talk to you later!
| Walkazo chapter 7 . 9/19/2015
I've been really busy so I've only been able to read this in little snippets here and there, but I FINALLY finished Chapter 7 and can give a review!
I'm glad the stuff with Janika worked out okay: I was worried when she tried to frame Grov, and was relieved that Jondaria continued to prove he's a good person by standing up for his friend. Janika's not malicious like Marona, at least: she's just a spoiled teenager, and made a decision on impulse and probably regretted it as soon as it started becoming a big deal; her apology to Ayla was good of her - plus she was a helpful witness to where Danta went.
Speaking of which, I'm glad the Council of Sisters wasn't a kangaroo court like with the Brothers, although it's still a bit troubling that it all hinged on the lucky breaks of witnesses coming to Tiflona. Also, is it bad that I was almost proud of Ivanolia punching out the Sumac slugs? But I was also proud of his conduct in his hearing, and happy that it went a lot smoother than Ayla's visit to the Brothers. Although I feel like Maple Camp won't be hosting another summer meeting for a long time after all the trouble this time out... But I have a question: why is it being spelled "sUmer meeting" in this chapter? Was there supposed to be an umlaut or something and then the formatting went nutty? I dunno, I just find it distracting - imho, call a spade a spade, you know? But that's my only real critique, aside from a couple wonky italics dropping on or off in the middle of flashbacks/quotes - but that's all very minor.
I liked Danta's growing friendship between her and Ayla, and that Oak Camp committed to adopt her and her daughter and save them from Sumac Camp - especially after what Zadneestia did to her (not that they know it), and with her poor daughter right there: that could seriously mess a kid up, but at least she doesn't know the full truth. Still, I was surprised became such a central character and being part of the horse adventure - and her brother even moreso, although it's nice to see him sticking with her. I hope he doesn't beat himself up too badly about feeling desire for Ayla: he couldn't really help it, Grov's not upset, and Ayla was only confused and unsure of what to do, and once things are cleared up, that shouldn't be a source of distress for her anymore. Still, I can empathize with them both: unrequited attraction can be very troublesome on both ends, especially when there's friendship getting complicated by it.
As for the horses, it's interesting that they were able to tame them pretty quickly. Nicuria's a baby like Whinney in the books, so that makes sense for him, but I guess Whinny's innate nature could have been why Ayla trained her so naturally in the book too, and why she'd come back to be with her human friend after she tried to let her go and be with the dark stallion - and here, why she so willingly made friends with Ayla despite being an adult horse. And people tame adult wild horses in general too, so it's not unbelievable or anything, and it's nice to have the horses around again. It'll be interesting to see how they're received when they go back to the summer meeting!
Looking forward to Part 8! Talk to you later!
| Guest chapter 10 . 8/14/2015
I truly enjoyed your version of earth's children. Yes, I would appreciate if you ever decided to continue and finish it, but it seems no one is able to, not even jean Auel as apparent by her final book. I guess this series is death cursed.
You had many interesting plots and characters; though to be honest I skipped a lot of the "other" scenes (to many characters) and not really related to the clan though I suspect your goal was to eventually add joudaure as hinted with alya vision and then to joining the clan and others.
Thank you for writing this I did enjoy what you wrote and I hope you continue. People have imagination and I will use mine to finish it in my head.
Thanks for the entertainment and all the best to you for the future
| Walkazo chapter 6 . 7/23/2015
I can't believe it's been almost two months since my last review - I was taking my time with this chapter, but didn't quite realize how much, since so much seemed to happen each time I read just a little bit.
As always, it's sweet how supportive Grov is, and how he believed Ayla's vision. I was surprised the first part came true so soon, but who knows how long it will be until the next part happens... It's also nice to see how supportive her family is, especially in lights of some other other camps' less-than-welcoming attitudes. Like Zadneetsia - nasty pig, he reminds me of Laramar *shudder*. I'm SO glad Ayla was able to break free of her programming and fight him off - and that it ended better than when she tried to stop Broud that first time. Too bad the Council of Brothers was so biased - hopefully once the hunters get back, there will be a bit more justice, but who knows. It reminds me of how people are still quick to dismiss women's claims of abuse in today's media and such: very shameful.
But at least those sorts of attitudes makes people like Seriana and Dimia all the more appreciative to have around - I hope we get to hear more about them. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it seems like there's more to Dimia's story, between his almost androgynous description and the fact that his preferred nickname, Dima, happens to be more like how Sungaean female naming conventions work... I like Jondaria too - I was worried he'd be an interference at first, but I like how he and Grov are forming a nice friendship. Instead, it's just his sister who's being a pain - Ayla didn't seem to mind Janika's just for her mate (which is refreshingly mature), but I feel for Grov: people being pushy about their advances is not fun at all. But he's handling it alright so far, even managing to keep her off despite the bouza.
And finally, poor Ivagnolia. When you're lonely and hurting and desperate, you do stupid things - especially with youth and peer-pressure added to the mix. No excuse, obviously, but at least he knows it was bad now and regrets it, and hopefully he and Danie can get past it, since he's a different, better man now - and she knows it. I wonder if it really was Oda's group, tho - you'd think he'd remember that a baby died as part of their excursion, and he said he wasn't the first or last to use the woman he forced, yet Oda was only forced once. I bet it WAS Zadneetsia and his ilk that forced Oda, but hopefully not Ivan (although he'd be a less objectionable father for Ura than some boor).
Haha, a long review for a long reading time. And now, on to Chapter 7!
| Midnight's Oblivion chapter 10 . 7/17/2015
Absolutely loving this, brilliant split from the first book. And all the new characters as well! There's so much to this story, and I especially like how you fleshed out Ayla's beginning. I was always wondering who she originated with.
I hope that maybe another chapter might crop up, even a short one.
| Walkazo chapter 5 . 5/31/2015
Another great chapter! It was great to spend so much time with the Mamutoi. And sneaky move having Darnev being the injured one: readers might think that this is showing why he was dead in the actual book and get worried, but nope! At least, not in this retelling where Ayla meets the Mamutoi "ahead of schedule", as it were. It's actually a pretty good point that a camp without a healer, and just a shaman-type Mamut (or equivalent) really does live a bit precariously: Danie is right to want to have Ayla around for her birth.
I was surprised about the horse vision: I thought she had Shriek /instead/ of Whinney, but now she will actually have a whole herd of horses? And meet Jondalar AND a living Thonolan by the sounds of it? Very interesting... The dark clouds make me think of the volcano that erupted just before Rydag's death in MH - Thonolan was long dead by then, but maybe without Baby around, he actually lives through the "reckless endangerment of human life" phase of his grieving...
I'm glad Durc wants to be a good mate like Grov, although more and more, I wonder how hard it will be for his sisters to get back into the swing of Clan life. And his parents too... Anyway, looking forward to reading more!
| Oito Y chapter 4 . 5/31/2015
This is actually VERY well written! I can't believe you wrote this. It's actually almost as if Jean M. Auel wrote it herself! I can't believe you think it's horrible.
Also, if you want, I can finish it for you. I'm not the best at writing myself, but hey, what're you gonna do? All writers have flaws. Just don't expect as much detail from me.
| Guest chapter 10 . 4/22/2015
Thank you- hope you write more
| BZee chapter 10 . 4/22/2015
I'm currently reading your story for the second time (Do I need to say I enjoy it!). The first time you had only transferred 7 parts here so I had to search for the (unnamed) site you where transferring it from. I finally found it and read the last three parts. I cut and pasted the story into a MS Word document and used Calibre to convert it for reading on my Kindle Paperwhite so now I'll check to make sure the "NEW CHAPTER" is in my Word version. I sure hope you do see your way to continue the story.
| Walkazo chapter 4 . 4/15/2015
Sorry for taking so long to finish and review this chapter - I've been side-tracked by reading "Mammoth Hunters" too, haha.
Anyway, good chapter. I'm sad to see the Clan left behind, but the Others are an interesting enough bunch. I'm glad Ivanolia finally came to his senses and stopped being a huge asshole to his cousin and his mate. It's fun to see the Mamutoi now, too - it's interesting that Ranec's not there, but maybe that was mentioned in the book that he spent some time away? I can't remember. I'm also glad Frebec's family isn't there - it made the traveller's introduction go a lot smoother (hell, no Ranec right off the bat may have helped cut the initial drama too), and as a whole, I'm enjoying how things move a lot faster: as much as I like the books, they sure take their time.
Another thing I really like is how Ayla's conception ideas are spreading around a bit faster. I won't say much, but in the actual books (i.e. "Land of the Painted Caves"), people are a lot more skeptical, whereas here, it's more like "oh, yeah, that makes sense". Even Broud is getting in on that sorta thinking, like his "get your daughters off me" comment: if he can do it, really, no one else has any excuse not to clue in too, heehee. I also like Grov's stray thought about Broud being like a third mate - now wouldn't THAT be something! Although I'm sure Broud himself would throw a fit if he got wind of that thinking - although he's come a long way, and I was glad he understood Brun's sound reasoning for making Grov the new heir. Now I just want
Anyway, talk to you soon!
| Walkazo chapter 3 . 4/5/2015
I'm glad Broud's reformed enough to accept Oga's mixed baby: her despondent reaction to it made sense given his and the Clan's past history with mixed kids, but everyone's becoming more open-minded now. And the more mixed babies there are, the more the Clan will survive in the Others lineages, rather than only having Durc. I like that Broud and Ayla are officially siblings too: an odd couple to be sure, but it's appropriate in the context of the story where they already live together and have learned to get along, and it's certainly much better than the original pre-Death Curse plan where she'd be his second woman which was pretty squicky given what he did to her. I was surprised that Ayla's allowed to hunt with a spear now. And that some of Ura's more traditional clan members haven't up and ragequit Brun's hippie-dippie group yet, lol.
I'm having a harder time getting invested in all the Others, tho, I must confess: the story's starting to reach OC saturation, although at least they're all interesting and unique characters, and I have a feeling Laurana's pregnancy coinciding with the springtime will lead to more plot intertwining with Ayla & co. We'll see...
| Walkazo chapter 2 . 4/1/2015
Another very good set of chapters! I really like Broud's character development: he's WAY more interesting here than the hateful rape-monster of the actual book. Their little combined family is very sweet: I love how little Ora loves Broud so much - like a lion cub pawing at its big, scary ol' father and he just has to let it happen, heehee.
The Shriek development is a cool parallel to Whinney, although Red-tailed hawks are a strictly North American species - but the books themselves got most of the birds wrong too, so it's actually very accurate fanfiction, lol. Red-tailed hawks also don't vocalize much, especially not in hand (I study them, so I know - I was holding one just this past Saturday, in fact; he just stared and stared); falcons and goshawks, on the other hand - now THOSE are noisy birds. But whatever, it's still an interesting story development: I'm really glad Brun's being even more open-minded about Ayla's quirks and is letting the hawk stay.
Looking forward to seeing what happens with the two ladies of the Others, and who's baby Oga is carrying - and of course, what Brun will do about the Woman Who Hunted with a Spear, and how the rest of the clan will react to everything...
| Walkazo chapter 1 . 3/24/2015
Great story so far! I couldn't stop reading, and am definitely looking forward to reading the next few parts. I think it's really great that you've been transferring it here from wherever it came from, and I hope you continue! (At your own pace of course.) Aside from the occasional question mark coming after the "she said" part rather than the quote, spaces being skipped after some italics end (oh the quirks of the interwebz formatting), and the occasional typo, it was really well written. You do a really good job at reproducing the feel of the original material, and while Brun's clan will always be my favourite characters (even as I read through the rest of "Earth's Children", I still missed them), the newcomers seem promising. I've been poking around for "Ayla stays with the clan and Brun takes back leadership" fics, and this is the best I've seen so far.
Keep up the good work!
| titpuce86 chapter 8 . 3/10/2015
So I finally read your last chapter and it is great. Definitively worth the wait. I hope you will update the next one soon. But if you want to go to next year in only one chapter I suppose the winter is going to see a lot of time jumps or we will never see Whinney fully pregnant. Or will the story have more than 10 chapters in the end? Both would be great.