|Reviews for Revanchi|
| Commissar Admiral Kordoshky chapter 4 . 8/18/2013
*the* best bar fight scene I have ever read with Revan in it! Hah! causally talking whilst slitting throats and removing body parts. Sounds like him.
| Kingsdaughter613 chapter 4 . 7/17/2011
I really liked these two chapters. I hope you update again soon. The numbers are because Calo always counts before shooting. I liked the interesting perspective with regard to the meeting with Mission. Nice work.
| GinsengH chapter 4 . 7/6/2011
I do like to nag :P. I hope I didn't put you on the defensive with my reviews. I have always found that the best use of this medium is to just be honest (some might call it blunt). Yourself and other authors put a lot of time and thought into these stories so I feel it is only right that I put a little effort into leaving feedback.
So I guess before I review this chapter let me clarify myself from previous comments. I hope I didn't come off as someone who expects complete conformity to a particular universe because that isn't the case at all. I enjoy the Star Wars universe and its characters, but I don't think author's should be completely confined to the laws that govern it (or any other franchise for that matter). Of course that isn't to say I don't think there should be some level of likeness to the original though :).
I understand you making this completely AU, and I definitely follow along the lines of Revan being the strongest. I would caution you of making him, or any character, too powerful as it is generally a detriment to any story to have a "mary-sue" character/powers.
As for this chapter. I loved Calo Nord going down. I never did like him very much.
| general-joseph-dickson chapter 4 . 7/1/2011
Looks like Revan has a new Dancing Girl and Body Guard for his flagship. As long as the patrons know if they make one snide remark they get shot to death by the dancer...
| A Revanchist chapter 3 . 6/29/2011
well, I can't say I have ever read an AU quite like this! I like it so far so keep the updates coming!
| general-joseph-dickson chapter 3 . 6/6/2011
Good job. looking forward to more.
| general-joseph-dickson chapter 1 . 6/6/2011
It's like Sand People run the Holonet. They run around yelling REVANCHI!
| GinsengH chapter 3 . 5/20/2011
I probably should have waited to read all 3 chapters before reviewing, but I can't do anything about that now :P.
I start off with an obligatory, please don't do the telepathy thing anymore, just as a reminder for when you eventually see my 3 comments from tonight (:
I have to ask. Why would all of Taris be cheering about being free. Upper Taris was already pretty much free. With the exception of a few slums the upper city locals were very happy with the status quo. The only ones who would have cared for Revan's declaration would have been probably some of the people from the slums and then those in the lower cities.
A few of the scenes with carth and company were pretty humorous. Like him running into a door, of course he was always my least favorite character so I guess I take pleasure in his pain :P.
Speaking of humor. I kind of said this before, but the overall tone of this story has been a bit too laid back. It doesn't seem to be intended as a crack story so I think you should consider toning the 'joking' down a bit. Not that it needs to become some dark drama though. Basically it's like that saying, jack of all trades master of none. It acts like it wants to be taken seriously, but there is too much mirth to do so.
Overall I would say this story is a little rough around the edges, but it isn't bad. It would definitely benefit from a little more research into the universe (or maybe research isn't needed and just fewer liberties need to be taken). I say this because the inconsistencies that have been displayed in these first few chapters would generally lead me to not bother continuing with the story but I'm just really in a KOTOR mood right now and the other recent ones aren't very appealing to me.
| GinsengH chapter 2 . 5/20/2011
Let me preface this by saying I'm not a star wars fanatic. By that I mean I've only played a few of the games and seen the movies so my knowledge of the SW universe is not exhaustive and I don't expect that from writers either. However, I do feel the need to point out a few things so I hope you read this and take it to heart.
First thing that caught my attention in this chapter was the starforge copy. Don't you think if that were possible the Rakatans (I think thats who they were) would have done it originally? Also, it was powered by the nearby star so the power source would be even harder to duplicate than originally suggested.
I have to say I'm not a fan of all of these force powers you keep coming up with. As I mentioned in my previous comments, transporting a turbo laser to another dimension is just wrong. Cutting off someone's ability to talk without choking them is unnecessary. Now you've added telepathy to the mix. Force users are able to get a general idea of a person's feelings, but they can not extract verbatim what the person is thinking. They also can not insert their own thoughts into another. The only exception to this, that I know of anyway, was in between Kreia and the Exile and that was the result of a force bond. In your KOTOR universe Revan and Bastilla have not formed a bond so that would not be possible, and even if it were it didn't happen in their force bond.
I actually have a reason for bringing these two things up beyond them not coinciding with general knowledge of the SW universe. That reason is that it is, to put it bluntly, unimaginative. That might not be the most accurate word to use, but what I mean is this. Revan is already probably the most powerful force user in the known galaxy. He's a brilliant commander and has many loyal followers. He doesn't need to be powered up anymore. Honestly, all of these knew powers only serve to cheapen him as a character and the duplicate star forges cheapens the story. It all leads to an infallible character/army that just isn't intriguing.
I'll end on a positive note. I do like that Malak is, seemingly, a good guy (I say seemingly because it wasn't stated whether the laser in chapter 1 came from his ship or the republic). The idea of Revan not being a sith is not a new one, but a story where Malak is along for the ride as well has not been done very often. Normally Malak ends up falling to the dark side anyway. So if he hasn't fallen I consider that a potential positive for originality.
| GinsengH chapter 1 . 5/20/2011
I'm pretty desperate for a new KOTOR fic to read so I'll pretend that gross abuse of overpowering (sending a turbolaser to another dimension...I don't recall that ever being a force power) of a character from chapter 1 :P.
Other than that the chapter was interesting. Revan was maybe a bit too jovial, but hopefully that isn't quite as apparent in future chapters.
| OdinAesir chapter 2 . 5/18/2011
Interesting, i look forward to more...
| Arkbird7 chapter 2 . 5/18/2011
You have to continue please!
Well I think destroying Taris wouldn't be necessary but maybe you could use it in a chapter without destroying it.
| Kingsdaughter613 chapter 1 . 5/16/2011
And let me guess; in that paralel universe malak takes the credit for the shot? Or something like that... Good work!