|Reviews for Ready, Set, Go|
| livialovesdelena chapter 2 . 9/22/2013
you know it's funny that I happened to read this story and thought it sounded familiar...that's because Liv had been reading it and talking about you. I realized this when I saw her review of chapter 1 :) Anyway, hope that you are doing well. I can't help but smile when I see her foot prints on a story she followed (i.e. words left in a review, which she left a lot of). I have yet to finish her story. I have one more chapter that she wrote to post, but I haven't been able to do it yet. Soon, I keep telling myself...
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/2/2013
Too.. overdone. Slapstick-esque.
| livialovesdelena chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
I love Jeremy's reaction to the whole thing :) Most brothers would have reacted in a similar manner and give that kicking Damon's ass would not be a great option, it was priceless. Can't wait to read the 2nd chapter.
| This Is My Escape chapter 2 . 8/24/2011
Bring back Alaric! Hehe.
| LiveBreatheVampires chapter 2 . 8/9/2011
I like your story!
Haha the scene were Jeremy says about getting two bells i lmao. I also like Bonnie\Elena like best friend comfort, very realistic. Can't wait for more Delena.
| Lizzy85cec chapter 1 . 8/9/2011
OMG ;) Totally loved the interaction between the three couples, though Bonnie needs to come down with the hating Damon. That's old news, she needs to get over it...
Onto the next chapter :) yey!
BTW- the credit card bit was totally cute, I was thinking of doing something similar. You read my mind.
| SweetWillowTree chapter 2 . 5/23/2011
Yay Alaric! And I’m excited to see Katherine again. Good job!
| SweetWillowTree chapter 1 . 5/23/2011
You left me such a helpful review, I figured that I’d return the favour. I’m curious about what happened in those six months to have Elena so thoroughly stuck on Damon, but I’m not questioning it. I love the relationship between Damon and Jeremy, and Caroline just being ridiculous, although I found that Bonnie was a little aggressive. Very entertaining, and now I’m off to read chapter two!
| tamilnadu09 chapter 1 . 5/19/2011
jer's reaction is too funny.
| LoveMeant2BE chapter 2 . 5/19/2011
| nightfallsupernova chapter 2 . 5/18/2011
love this chapter especially caroline, she is so funny and definatly has no boundaries. i knew the second elena started thinking of damon caroline would notice. cant wait for the next chapter.
| Recco101 chapter 2 . 5/18/2011
loved it cant wait for more
| princessrae91285 chapter 2 . 5/18/2011
yah for updates :-) i really liked it, cant wait for more :-)
| Dayna Barter chapter 1 . 5/17/2011
Loved Jeremy's reaction when he walked in on them in flagrante delicto. A very realistic little brother reaction. I thought both he and Caroline were well in character. I felt like you had Damon's snarkiness down as well. Only thing that really bothered me about him was the "Kitten" thing. It's not a right/wrong thing, it just didn't work for me. And I wasn't quite feeling Elena. She was a little all over the map in terms of her mood and feelings. Or if that was intentional, I missed the reason for it, and that could just be me being dense. If so, my bad. :-)
As far as the technical aspects, my biggest criticism is the head-hopping. Again, this is a stylistic choice, not an absolute in terms of grammar or anything, so take it for whatever you think it's worth. There is nothing wrong with third-person omnipotent narration (there are published authors who use it), but I feel like it removes some of the immediacy from the story, making it a little less focused. That's totally my opinion and preference only; I just think you can tighten the story or each scene by figuring out which character most has ownership of it and staying within his/her point of view.
Grammatically, you had some run-on sentences going on. It could be it just needed another pass of proofreading, but when in doubt read it aloud. If there are places where you naturally pause, but you don't end a sentence or use a comma there, you may want to put it in. I don't know if you use a beta reader or not, but I'm filling out my beta reader profile tonight and I'm always happy to do it if you want.
I hope this is helpful. I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with Chapter 2. :-)
| ShaniceyBee11 chapter 1 . 5/17/2011
update soon :)