|Reviews for An Unending Struggle|
| TorNathan chapter 29 . 1/3
“Captain Terra, are you sure you want to go into Ludacris Speed? Plaid is a horrible color!”
“I do what I want!”
If you get the reference, then great.
Also, is it me or is Shin (so far) just always asleep or knocked out? Like, he’s never awake anymore. Poor soul.
Romeo, Juliet, love is in the air.
And then Terra can eat at “the-author-said-fuck-you” speeds and there’s one really big crystal. I’m a fan of Zidane, so this arc will be enjoyable. On to the next chapter!
| TorNathan chapter 28 . 1/3
Okay, so I wrote this review after reading it all, but that’s because I simply didn’t have anything to really say about the chapter. It was a transition chapter. Give it the spar to spice things up a bit and a cute moment with Terra and Shin. It was a nice chapter.
| TorNathan chapter 27 . 1/3
Okay, so we’ve officially went loopy with the Pirates crossover. I much agree to this … very much so.
So Terra can kill gods but is utterly defenseless to the Great Ninja Yuffie and her ropes? Kinky.
Overall, it was a decent chapter. It had transition moments setting up for what’s to come and a really odd flashback with pirates and Bartz. I didn’t really see that helping the story, but oh well.
| TorNathan chapter 26 . 1/3
“I can’t comeback.” Oh god, Aerith the pro rapper bringing the heat. I love your typos sometimes.
Oh, Mother Aerith is best Aerith … well the goodbye was rather sentimental. And now we’re on to the “deeps” of hell!
Pretty strong scene here with Minerva actually. Well done portraying the emotion through physical weariness.
Overall, it was a nice chapter full of emotions written out through the physicality of it all, and that was a nice change.
| TorNathan chapter 25 . 1/3
I’ve decided to write my reviews as I go instead of all at once at the end.
Oh my god! Why can we not see more of THIS Terra?! Maybe I’m sadistic … who knows? I just want her to go around violently fucking up gods and mortals alike from now on.
Shinryu gaining exp from battles! The game logic is real here!
Okay, so Shin’s Destati was rather enjoyable to read. I enjoyed the raw emotion from Shinryu, which was shocking. While everything he said about himself was cliché and expected, it was well done, or as well as it could have been at the time you wrote this. So kudos on that front.
| TorNathan chapter 24 . 1/3
I actually really enjoyed this chapter. It was fast paced but I think I really enjoyed the violence in it more than anything. Also, bring out the bold bitch from Terra. That was exceptionally nice to read, seeing the anger and all. I’m really curious about how Minerva knew about all of the Dissidia events and most importantly why Shin had apparently “put it all together.” So yeah, a nice chapter!
| Penguinlord352 chapter 75 . 12/21/2015
The opening with Tina and Delita was very well done. The conversation was interesting and it provided a very nice insight into Tina's mentality without giving away too much. I'm very interested in how things will unfold between them, after the fight they ended up in at the end. Their back and forth seemed fairly well balanced, verbally that is.
Golbez's interaction with the Cid's was hilarious, and I honestly wish I'd seen that coming. And while Arthur was kind of cheesy, it was a good touch. Is the dock it's being worked on called Avalon, by any chance? Golbez commenting that he wasn't even sure what fiction was anymore was, however, my favorite part of the chapter.
The conversation with Sol, Mika, and Cuore was also very interesting. You've set up some nice looking dominos with this chapter. I don't have too much to say about this part, though the background information you've provided in this chapter was a nice touch.
The part with Shin and Terra meeting Crusader, however, was the part I got a bit skeptical on. While I understand the purpose of this and the use of the ability to sync up being needed in the future chapters to make victory possible, it's just a little too convenient. But the importance being placed on this super mode of theirs is a bit worryingly reminiscent of DBZ. I know this is somewhat hypocritical coming from me, but I am trying to get better about my own tendency to overpower my characters. Just be careful with using this, alright? You're a great writer, so I don't want you to have a lackluster climax by turning it into a game of back and forth attacks. You can do better than that.
The ending of the chapter with Rex, Lezard, Young Xehanort, and Lenneth was, overall, the best part of the chapter in my opinion. You showed us the villains being despicable without really turning a good guy into a piece of grass in their path to show how competent or powerful they are. That was very well done. Lezard turning on Xehanort like that was very well executed as well, by the way. And the reaction of the three to Lenneth's arrival was pretty much perfect!
All that said, please do read this chapter again carefully sometime, as there are parts where the sentences come across as missing words and a few instances of the wrong word being put in a sentence, like putting 'think' where you probably meant 'thin' when discussing Shin wearing down Terra's doubts.
| Lucenthia chapter 75 . 6/16/2015
Well, as you said, there was a lot of plot that happened, and there isn't really anything I can try to correct in that respect. The rest was a buildup to the main fight with God's identity and a hint of how powerful Shin and Terra would become.
We also got hints of how powerful the bad guys are as well. Being able to defeat the God Generals without serious losses is quite the feat. I like how you didn't really show the fight, letting the unknown build the antagonists up.
I also liked how this chapter started with the introduction of Tina's scene. You set the atmosphere well with just the first few sentences.
I felt the addition of Sol and Mika was unnecessary. For those who haven't read Jade's fics, they were more OCs that won't be relevant in the story again. Adding in a few more Cids would have been less (relatively) confusing.
Keep it up!
| Michael Mario chapter 75 . 6/12/2015
All right, listen up, maggots! That useless maggot Herald signed a deal with me giving him permission to use my Hypebolic Time Chamber in his worthless story. In return, I, Mr. Abridged Popo, would get to review these next 1-3 chapters. Popo's about to lay down the pecking order: You, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Cuore, then Popo.
Any questions? Good... Now we can begin.
Seems knocking off her useless maggot 'teammates' is indeed Tina's mission from Lezard. What a surprise: the backstabber is stabbing everyone in the back. Truly, this is unprecedented. Given the end of this chapter, one has to wonder why Xehanort was expecting anything less than betrayal considering who God is. I have to give Lezard and Tina some points for efficiency, though letting that useless maggot Delita in seems meaningless considering he's just a liability in comparison.
Seems that our two main maggots are going to have decisions to make when they get back. That aside, this scene does well in introducing useless maggots that will be somewhat important to the sequel ahead of time as well as foreshadowing the reputation Cuore will have gained by that point well.
On that topic, the maggot whose account I'm borrowing gave me a note suggesting you consider making Iris a werewolf rather than an Alexandrian. It makes more sense considering the barnyard people inhabiting Zidane's world aren't show to have any sort of special abilities relating to their appearances, but we have goddamn werewolves. There are several variations of their legends- turning into an actual wolf rather than a wolfman being one of them. Twilight wasn't just pulling it out of their like they did with the sparkling vampires.
Ah, my Hyperbolic Time Chamber. For Crusader's sake, he'd better put it to good use or we're going to have issues. If the collective God of Magic is going to be bowing down to Terra and Shin after all of this, that means their useless maggot friends are going to be even more useless than they already are. Ah, Can't Catch Up syndrome... such sweet nostalgia of broken hopes and dreams. Of course, there's still someone they're still going to bow to after all this: Popo.
Lot of lore and exposition in this chapter, but since said exposition is meaningful and important shit actually happens in this chapter, it's hardly pointless filler. Trust me: Popo knows what pointless filler looks like. Adequate chapter!
| Wood Dog chapter 75 . 6/8/2015
Right, so even after the lore drops, I still think Delita's scene is the best. Fight me.
If I am not mistaken this chapter has just revealed the identity and history of some of FFVI's godlike entities as well as their relationships amongst themselves and with Kefka. That is actually pretty cool if it weren't for their love of smart-alec speech, the kind that I happen to dislike. Sorry, I'm just picky about godhood and exposition, two concepts that go hand-in-hand way too often.
Speaking of finnicky concepts, holy crap. My mind. 2 many scienz.
Alright, I get that they are smartass scientists trying to build some sort of super engine and, to be fair, it was pretty awesome to know that Arthur even helped build himself. Dunno how I feel about the way it all works but it is nice to see this sort of thing nonetheless.
And then Rex gets Kaneki'd. The worm was a nice nod to Tokyo Ghoul, can't complain. Meanwhile. . .
Obligatory villanous infighting ensues. Xehanort and Lezard don't get along too well and, to break things up and reinforce feminine power in this fic even further, Lenneth barges in. Good on you girl, go crack some nuts!
But of course, I couldn't forget about my favorite PoV of this chapter and that'd be Delita and Tina.
Watching these two showing how incompatibly compatible they are as a villain duo is just. . . cheese and wine to me. Simply beautiful.
I so want to see Delita kick ass in this fic, I can't even help myself from fanboying. He's the right kind of smart and composed villany that should serve as a milestone for others in his category. Coincidentally, Tina is kinda starting to grow on me. She's smart enough to keep herself safe while also being brutally violent and rash. Reminds me of Nimbus in a way (funny I mention it, heh?)
| The Dark Dragon Emperor chapter 75 . 6/8/2015
So Tina and Delita are going to have some kind of union, wonder how long that's gonna last. Especially when you consider that they would both backstab each other given the opportunity.
Oh Golbez, don't look so surprised to see so many Cids. You've already met so many, this should be nothing new to you. And by the way, I don't think that fiction exists in this universe anymore, reality's been practically broken after all.
Shin's going to be a glorified battery, and run the risk of dying. Can't say I haven't seen that kind of scenario in other places.
So Shin and Terra are going to be training in the Hyperbolic Time Cham-I mean a dimension of distorted space. Can't wait to see how much they improved.
Lenneth!? Now that is something I did not expect. At least so soon. I thought that she would make an appearance in a couple chapters. Now you've made me eager to see her battle Lezard.
| TheJadeDragon37 chapter 75 . 6/8/2015
I see you've been watching a lot of DBZ again with this totally not hyperbolic time chamber biz. Can I expect Shin and Terra to do the fusion dance as a last resort and achieve the long sought after Godly Super Esper?
I think the only bit of lore I didn't know was... God's identity. But having not played that game it really means little to me at the moment other than I know that God's identity has a past with the villain. Damn it's hard to be vague about who God is, don't want to spoil it for readers who check reviews first.
And SO wish this would end before the Normalcy arc, this is far more deserving/needing of it.
| Draconai chapter 31 . 2/19/2015
Too. Much. Regnum. Please tell me this is an arc.
| Draconai chapter 30 . 2/18/2015
Oh, blades of Bhuni, your warning was about NAMINÉ. Note to self, start XI-ing as soon as possible, I need context for this stuff.
| Draconai chapter 29 . 2/18/2015
I still don't know where Glasses- er, Lezard is from that he can make skeletons on strings. If his origin is plot-important, don't tell me, but otherwise a little context would be handy. (Doesn't help that I feel like I missed something...)