|Reviews for My Failures|
| Chloe chapter 5 . 8/22/2013
So funny! Tragical but still funny!
| Guest chapter 2 . 4/1/2013
Well... One thing to say, little Little guy sounds adorable! (In a puppy-dog way)
Other then that, nooo! Little guy! No breaking up with Naomi. :'( great story. :)
| Art Witch - Aka Mizu chapter 5 . 7/21/2012
| Tell Her This chapter 4 . 6/4/2011
I have been reading this as you've been updating, but I was in the middle of final exams season (nightmare) so I had this marked for review once my exams were over.
The premise of the story is good. I like the idea, but I really think your story as a whole needs to be fleshed out more. It all feels quite rushed, and I think some key details are missing, such as Alyssa's age in your story, and how long the fighting between Naomi and Little Guy has been going on. I would think it would have to have been going on for quite a while and be awful for Alyssa to come to the conclusion that she's going to run away. Also, if you were going to redraft chapter four I would recommend taking out this line: “Don't worry, I like older women.” A) I don’t think that’s something that should be even joked about, and B) I don’t think it’s in Gabe’s character to say something like that.
I hope I’m not coming across as being really harsh; I don’t mean to. These are just little things that I think could be improved in your story. As I said, the premise is interesting. I just think everything needs to be fleshed out a lot more.
Hope this helps! Sorry if I sound harsh. That’s honestly not my intention.
| Indochine chapter 4 . 5/29/2011
Awesome so far! :)
It is nice to have Gabe in this story! :)
| Clarissa Gavin chapter 4 . 5/28/2011
You know, I read a lot of your stuff, and even if Naomi/LG isn't my fav pairing, your stories always bring a smile to my face. Your style is quite descriptive and sweet. Also, unlike me, you're very prolific, which is a great, great start. The only suggestion I have for you is that I would like to see some more variety. I think I can tell from your profile that you write mostly romance-y fics, but I would love to see how you take on different types of writing. Keep doing what you doing, girl!
| Surgical Rose chapter 4 . 5/28/2011
Hehehe, good to see that Gabe can make the most inappropriate jokes at times like this.
I loved how you included some of Gabe's emotions about Joshua into this, it seemed like the cherry on the top for this story :)
An idea for a future story... It could be something to do with ALyssa's birthday or Chloe having kittens and Naomi's trying to deal with them or something like that :)
| Surgical Rose chapter 3 . 5/23/2011
Awww bless Naomi! I think that this chapter was really well written, it was short but sweet and vividly descriptive. It's a good thing to have a variety of short and long chapters to keep the readers on the edge of their seats.
Just like I am right now :D
| Layton H.D Kedd chapter 3 . 5/23/2011
you're going to keep us for another chapter, you rapscallion! anyway, I enjoyed it as always. One thing though, you don't have to tell us the storm represents Naomi's emotions, we get that. remember "show not tell", but other than that! Great as always :D
| Surgical Rose chapter 2 . 5/19/2011
*even more gasping* Oh my days! Alyssa missing! :O
I swear...I had nothing to do with it *hides the small child behind her back and smiles nervously*
Naomi and Navel will probably turn Portland upside down just to try to find her!
| Surgical Rose chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
*gasp* This...Is amazing! I'm eager to learn about what Alyssa's planning to do! And I agree with you completely Alyssa, I hate it when Naomi and Little Guy fight *cuddles Alyssa*