|Reviews for No Giving Up|
| The Vampire Princess Sora chapter 52 . 6/16
i love this fanfic great gob
| Rika chapter 52 . 4/21
Hey, nice fic. I personally don't like to read but I finished Chapter 1 to 52 in two days. That's two days, considering I hate reading that really is something.
Moving on to my comments, I can see you've played Dissidia? I noticed some of Lightning's movements in your fight scenes kinda resembles her movements in Duodecim. If not then... hahaha
I really do hope you'll finish this, I've always wanted to see the Farron sisters bond and see what Lightinig would do to protect her not just physically but mentally as well. I was wondering is Lightning will ever become normal again.
You last update was on Jan 2014 it's been two years already so I'm guessing you won't update anymore too bad. I really really love your story. Planning to reread it again sometime. Thank you for this wonderful fic.
| Guest chapter 52 . 3/25
This is really a masterpiece! Especially, the battle scene description. I do enjoy! Lightning always thinks in logic and put others in the priority. She has a great and kind heart. Glad Sarah finally found her sister and showed how she missed Lightning in XIII-2 although it's a damn tragedy in the end. At least, Lightning seems happy in the very last of Lightning Return.
In "No giving up", it is a bit sad that Lightning has to carry those crystal parts which look like an ink of Fal'Ciel with her. At least, she seems living in a peace and not alone anymore.
I wasn't aware that you are from Singapore till your author note. I was so surprised because English is not my mother language, either. However, I definitely can't write a story in English version, not mention this is over 50 chapters.
Right now you are in high school age when is one of a crucial time to determine a person's future life in Asia. Wish you luck and hope you will enter the best college or find a wonderful job in the future.
| lightning1997 chapter 1 . 12/7/2015
are you still going to update ?
| lightning1997 chapter 1 . 10/24/2015
please continueI'm really looking forward to read the next chapter. We miss you a lot !
| Id34 chapter 52 . 5/2/2015
this story is awesome ease update soon xD
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 51 . 2/18/2015
"To love is to will the good of another", in reply to some of your Author's Notes. Lightning is a giver of it, and is reluctant to be a receiver.
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 50 . 2/18/2015
That doesn't make sense. Barthandelus is not their fal'Cie, Anima is. And their power comes from Pulse himself, or maybe Pulse has a power source. Barthandelus would have absolutely nothing to do with it. He's a Lindzei fal'Cie, who did not initiate their branding. And since Anima's death didn't take their magic, no way Barthandelus could have made any difference.
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 46 . 2/18/2015
This chapter was 100% illogical. Lightning could have shot Serah in the shoulder to completely incapacitate her, without needing to kill her or get beat up herself. Or she could have ran around Barthandelus and attacked him, using him as a line-of-sight meat-shield against Serah's arrows.
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 29 . 2/16/2015
This review is for the 29 chapters that I have read so far.
I believe in one author's note you said that you like how this story helps you with your English... so you are a non-native English speaker? Your writing is good. You have a good vocabulary, especially since fantasy settings use words much different from daily life. I have some tips for you, and after that some comments about the story.
Some tips for improving your English writing:
You occasionally use the wrong verb tense. You mostly use the simple present and past tenses, but sometimes you combine them in the same phrase or use the wrong one. You also sometimes use "ing" words (present participles of verbs) when you meant to use a present tense verb. Sometimes you use the wrong plurality of nouns. "Rubble" is already a plural noun. Say "They hid behind/stood on top of *THE RUBBLE*", not rubbles. You repeat some adjectives a bit too much, such as "foolhardy", which is not quite the right use of the word. Foolhardy is a very serious word, so although you use it for the same meaning as foolish or stubborn, it should be reserved as an insult. Barthandelus can call Lightning or Fang foolhardy, but their friends should not.
Some comments about the story:
You are very good at writing about the interpersonal relationships, especially with the challenges the characters face. You have great details, although sometimes it becomes a bit too much when there have been 20ish long chapters and all that has happened is they went through a dungeon and got a sword, then killed a bunch of behemoths. Although in the mid-20s chapters things start happening quickly: the fight against Barthandelus and the aftermath of that fight. I also did not understand why the characters had to kill ALL of the behemoths. So what if there are three left? Wouldn't they stop rampaging, or at least not be a major threat anymore?
I liked all the details about the sword's special properties, although it makes everyone but Lightning almost unneeded against Barthandelus. I like the shifting points of view, so the reader can see how EVERYONE views the situation, especially when we don't know what happened to a character (like when they are thrown out of the battle, or fall unconscious, or the others can't see them anymore).
| kaito136 chapter 52 . 8/11/2014
A fellow Singaporean! YOOOOOO. Though you're much younger than me. Guess you're struggling being a JC2 student now, huh? That sucks. That's why I opted for Poly haha. But that's awhile ago already sooo... Ok, know what? Never mind. I'm like being a stranger rambling at you.
ANYWAY. I finally caught up to the latest chapter! Phew. This is one huge fanfic you have here and boy am I actually proud to know we're from the same country and you made it this far in fanfiction writing. I can't stay focused for so long. I applaud you for this. Good job.
And for being a fellow Singaporean and understanding how freaky our local education is, I urge you to just study and finish your A levels first before you come back. It's Aug already, so it should be soon. Just a few more months. Haha. oops I hope I didn't add on to the stress.
That said, I really wanna leave some critic for you, though I've read through some of your replies here for the other readers and well... you did answer to some of them. But I still wanna voice out on one point is that, as a Serah fan, I feel that your treatment to her is really, really unfair. I like the story, from the surprise appearance of Yojimbo, to introduction of Zalera, to the twist about Fafnir being a fal'Cie is good and that how they struggled felt true. The Lanille part is cute and really sweet, I love those parts... but woah must I say... Leaving Lightning behind to fight the boss so many times..?! that's really... pulling the shots. Too many times have the party left Lightning alone it felt so unreal. I must say, this story has many parts I wished were better. (It's gonna be a little harsher here).
How many times have you made it that Serah is the cause of Lightning's injuries? From the very beginning when Serah rushed in to Yojimbo... I thought that was cool— Serah rushes in with all the positivity and then it backfires, Light has to save her. That was really heroic! It was great for a start and pumped up the readers' excitement very well but then... it starts becoming repetitive. Serah appears, Lightning wakes up from her serious injury, Heaven of Wraths onto the badies, save Serah and faints and Vanille rushes to heal her. How many times had that happened? It gets really boring and just "whaaaaaaat" after the second time (second time being the Flan and then here and there the same thing happens so many times, I'm sure you know which parts I'm referring to).
I thought you'd break the cycle when you mentioned that Serah was being tortured and had fever in the prison cell. And that guard who gave her the flower in the cell. I thought something will happen but nope. Serah got cured within the same chapter (I'm really disappointed here, I'd admit. Out of 50 chapters I bet 20 is about Lightning recovering from various injuries and passing out and it only took a couple of paragraphs for Serah to recover. Light didn't even have the time to freak out over Serah having her brain burnt and beaten up. She was recovered before they even meet again.) and the guard was never mentioned again. Why did he do that? Who is he? Is he gonna come back? Nope, none mentioned.
I thought the same thing was gonna happen to the two girls in Palumpolum but I guess I've forgotten that the one who spoke to the girls was Light and not Serah, and of course, as the author, you'll pay more attention to Light and what she did.
At many points, I feel that there is no need for you to put Serah as first person writing this story. You were actually doing well writing third person, especially when many of your scene does not feature your first person character. That doesn't fit well. Somewhere in the middle when everyone split up to do their training on their own, and Light is recovering under Vanille's care... It felt like... Serah shouldn't be mentioned as a character in your story profile; it should be Vanille. You get how your first person character got just thrown out here?
I know many of my points point to Serah but she is the reason why I read this fanfic in the first place. It's natural to feel a need of focus, especially in first person stories. It's good to take note of this if you plan to write more fanfiction in the future. If you do not understand any of what I said here, my PM is open for you to ask. I'm a Singaporean too, I can speak in Singlish if it makes things clear up better!
That said, I still look forward to the final chapters. It's nice that you didn't end it off abruptly with the death of Barthendalus; you carried on to what happened next. Many fiction do not do this, so in some way, this is pretty refreshing.
All the best for your A's!
| Forever Courage chapter 52 . 7/29/2014
I really really really love your story! Please update! It's too good to be left unfinished!
| AnimeFreakSama chapter 52 . 6/28/2014
love your story and GO LIGHTNING! I love Lightning so much and your story rocks hope you will make a sequel after this ends hopefully it won't end but a story always have its endings...and sequels lol well bye for now I need to study for the PSLE sadly
| Darkspyre chapter 52 . 2/26/2014
So, I won't lie. I was off put at the OC-ness of quite a few of the characters as I read the first few chapters of this. However, somewhere between Light nearly getting slashed to death (whichever instance that happened to be), and the early-years flashbacks of the two sisters, I found myself totally hooked.
Cue to an entire evening spent, and fifty-two chapters later...
I really like the premise of your story. An un-crystallized Serah as part of the group is a refreshing twist that I've not often seen (or done particularly well). I'm a sucker for flashbacks, and the ones here are some of my favorite. Especially with all the time-traveling that happened in XIII-2, I always thought it was a hugely missed opportunity that Square never did any of that themselves. You've obviously put great thought into the details, and it shows.
I'm not wildly fond of non-cannon slash pairings, but if that has been your intent, (and hey, points for fluff warnings) its been vague enough to be entirely readable. That's personal preference anyway, so do what you will. B-) A note or two of constructive criticism: you tend to flip your tense mid-sentence. Also, contractions like, "Where's she...where's she..." would read better in full form. But anyway, great job so far, and I hope to see and update soon. MOAR!
...Random aside: fanart totally needs to be made of a half-crystallized Lightning. So badass. O_o
| LightningNatureX chapter 52 . 2/1/2014