|Reviews for Darsant Avat|
| Child of Jon Snow chapter 9 . 8/6/2019
Obi wan the inoccets of youth.
I hope he does ask yoda i would love to see that.
| Child of Jon Snow chapter 2 . 8/6/2019
Master yoda scard of a bug.
He lived on dagobah or is going to or not or whatever. Point is that place must of been swarming with bugs. How did/ would he survive?
| lisca chapter 27 . 8/2/2018
NOOOOOO! I TRUSTED YOU!
this was such a good read, I even had to literally tear myself away from my phone so I could do real life things in between chapters...
Anyways i love this story and what you did to the characters! Like Qui Gon! I used to love Qui Gon when i was younger, but growing up I realized he's not hum... the brightest jedi out there... And then reading tons of fanfictions (and the JA series... where he really is so immature) it made me despise him even more. But here! What a pleasure to read about a sensible Qui Gon! And Obi Wan! And really, any Jedi! And the dynamics between them! it's so nice to see them joke, talk and laugh! MACE?! he was GREAT! I loved his friendship with Qui Gon, he's always so stiff and boring in all the fanfictions! (well maybe because of the movies...)
So yeah, in brief I enjoyed this story so so much, the stoyline was so original AND I CANT BELIEVE IT'S INCOMPLETE! what am i suppose to do now? Spend my days wondering what will happen to Obi and Anakin and all of them really?
this is plain cruelty :(
thank you for writing and feel free to... you know... FINISH IT (yes I BEG YOU!)
cheers from France xx
| SigningSiren chapter 27 . 10/7/2017
It's a shame you stopped writing this. It was a very interesting story and it seems as if you had it well thought out. I was wondering if, based on what the shaman of the Whills said, Anakin would be able to go back in time to change some things. I enjoyed the entire dynamic between Qui Gon and Obi-Wan. As I said, The story seemed well thought out and well written. The character seemed very real to me.
| MJLupin27 chapter 27 . 10/20/2015
This is such a good interesting story, I really wish you'd finish it.. it deserves an ending, there are few stories as good as this one..
| peacelight24 chapter 27 . 7/11/2015
So I've enjoyed you story up until this point, I just want to make a couple comments.
I take issue with several aspects of JA as well. For example, sending the thirteen year olds without a master to random menial labor corps. This actually makes no sense. I realize Jude Watson was thinking of the age range when writing these, and therefore probably just wanted to create the appropriate tension for Obi-Wan, but goodness, the lack of thought put into that is ridiculous. There are many things like that.
The fact that you agree with me makes me wonder why you're not only using the JA storyline, but also Watson's writing. It really throws off your whole dynamic, and even though you've adapted it a little, it's really very different and disconcerting. Part of the problem is that Obi-Wan was characterized as acting very young before this, and not this efficient, mission oriented Padawan. I'm not saying that Obi-Wan shouldn't act this way-he should, he's older now-but if it were me I'd add a chapter where Qui-gon is noticing his growing maturity and struggles with the decision of bringing him along on his next mission, which happens to be Gala. Before this he was downright childish. There's nothing wrong with that, he was a child, but he's growing and it needs to be addressed.
I think, honestly, it might be in the best interests of the story to go back and rewrite the phindar arc in your own words. Manipulate the plot your way. Keep the characters in character for your story. I'm not trying to be critical, your story is really great, but I really wanted to point this out, and hopefully warn you from taking your story in a direction you might not want to go.
Again, I love certain aspects of your story, like the relationship between Obi-Wan and Qui-gon, Qui-gon being all overprotective, suggesting the reasoning for Qui-gon's insistence that Anakin be trained (that was really original by the way, good job), the nuances of their bond, lots of little things like that, I really liked. And I'll continue reading.
| Guest chapter 9 . 10/26/2014
Loved this chapter! :)
| MADStar529 chapter 27 . 3/9/2014
Loving this story! Hope you UPDATE SOON!
| MADStar529 chapter 24 . 3/9/2014
That was so awesome!
| MADStar529 chapter 23 . 3/9/2014
Interesting for him to be seeing Anakin.
| MADStar529 chapter 20 . 3/9/2014
Awww, Qui-Gon not wanting Obi to grow up.
| MADStar529 chapter 19 . 3/9/2014
Love Obi-Wan at the end!
| MADStar529 chapter 6 . 3/9/2014
Love the way it explains Obi-Wans presence.
| meriland25 chapter 27 . 11/23/2013
This is a trully amazing, well written and remarkable story! I love the idea and the way you give a new look into the characters and their relationship in a way the is realistic but fullfillimg as well. Young Obi Wan is just so prescious, and I love the way you write Qui Gon, you got his character amazingly. The way you changed,adapted and created new portions of the story seamlessly is just wonderful,and I particularly like your description of the Force. This is a really beautiful and amazing story, and I am begging you ,please,please,don't give up! I know you haven't wrote it for years, but this is such an amazing piece,and you are such a talented author! In any case, thank you for what you wrote, itvwas a marvelous experience to read your work , and I hope with all my heart that I may read more of it in the future! Have a nice day, you have made mine so much better! :)
| Antares3 chapter 27 . 9/2/2013
Please, continue? I love Little obi and your Quis versión 3