|Reviews for His Queen|
| Rawripop chapter 2 . 6/22/2011
Its really good, but you might want to change the rating to M for your...descriptive... bedroom scene. Just a suggestion. It would be a major shame for the story to be removed because of improper ratings.
| Cyberpunk Qualtagh chapter 1 . 5/24/2011
You have to continue this! Its really good.
Though, do get rid of the center orientation, it just makes everything look... icky. Center orientation is great for poetry but not prose (story).
I have to know about this wife in the past? Is Raidon a reincarnation of her? What is Raidon's backstory. How did she meet Madara, how does she know Madara?
Do they get married have babies? DETAILS WOMAN! DETAILS!
In less than a thousand words you have me hooked! Its... really interesting already!
Also, just a minor thing, Zetsu knows "Tobi" is Madara and by this point "Tobi" is no longer needed. Zetsu would probably address Madara as "Madara-sama".
| Aiko no Sabaku chapter 1 . 5/23/2011
I liked it! Very intense and the page layout tripped me up for a second. But it's really well written, you should continue it, I think it could get really good! :D
| imontes002hotmail.com chapter 1 . 5/22/2011
Quite a great story. Though you should write on how they met and eventually fell for each other. I love the personifications they blended perfectly. Although a little rushed, the basic concept was intriguing.