|Reviews for Teenage Memorandum|
| eccentricpanda801 chapter 9 . 11/10/2013
This was such a cute story! I giggled like a school girl when they net one another in the end! X3
| Guest chapter 9 . 8/29/2013
Is this going to be countinued?
| Julie Umulige chapter 9 . 10/15/2012
I just went full on fangirl over your story, it's simply AMAZING. It's the perfect AU, you are an incredible writer and this is pure awesomeness.
And this is not critizism for you, not at all, this is for Bing Translation or whatever you used. You see, I'm from Norway and most of the norwegian in your story didn't make much sense. If you want it, I wrote down a better translation. You don't have to update anything if you don't want to, the story is already perfect and I'm pretty sure no one would care, but you know, if you want it:
Du sette din ting på min seng - Du har satt tingene dine på sengen min
Her er din mat - Her er maten din
Wartooth, hvem er han og hvorfor gjør han ser så rart - Wartooth, hvem er han og hvorfor ser han så rar ut
Han er min romkamerat - Han er romkameraten min
Hvorfor han se ut som - Hvorfor ser han slik ut
Du bør holde kjeft før jeg slå dritten ut av deg på nytt - Du bør holde kjeft før jeg slår dritten ut av deg på nytt
Slutte å gjøre det, jævelen - Slutt å gjøre det, jævel
Være stille, idiot - Vær stille, idiot
Jeg sendte deg her for at du skal bedre, ikke for
deg til å være ulydig reglene - Jeg sendte deg hit for at du skulle
forbedre deg, ikke for at du skulle bryte reglene
Jeg er lei - Jeg er lei meg
Opphøre gråten. Du er pinlig selv - Slutt å gråte, det er pinlig
Se hva du sier, gutt - Pass på hva du sier, gutt
Dum ulv! Holde fremdeles - Dumme ulv! Hold fred
Hei, lite Toki - Hei, lille Toki
Ja, Aslaug, den jævel er hjem - Ja, Aslaug, den jævelen er hjemme
Du brakt en gjest - Du brate en gjest
I will pride myself by saying that I think I'm a little better at this than Bing, hehe. Anyways, it's up to you if you wanna just ignore me being the usual grammanazi that I am. Thank you for writing such an amazing fanfic, and keep up the good work! Love from Julie from Norge (Norway)
| Cherrykitty6556 chapter 9 . 9/11/2012
;A; nooooo i wanna read moreee
| Guest chapter 9 . 7/24/2012
i cried like crazy when pickles left for america, but i never smiled as much as i did when toki and pickles reunited in dethklock 3 beautiful just simply beautiful! 3
| EvilCannibalPanda chapter 9 . 7/18/2012
Oh my god... I smiled like crazy as I read the last part XD God I loved this soooo much! You did an awesome job!
| BronyLover chapter 9 . 7/13/2012
I've read most of your toki/pickles stories, but I have to say this was my favorite. I couldn't stop reading it once I started, and both pickles and tokis personalities were perfect. I never used to support toki/pickles, but your stories have made me an avid fan, and for that I thank you. Please keep on writing these making these amazing stories :D
| Nighttime Mystery chapter 9 . 7/4/2012
i loved it!
| Sanathia chapter 9 . 2/27/2012
Absolute brilliance! This was the first of your stories I read, and it will always be my favorite though I've read four more of yours since then. The storyline and plot build-up held me on the edge and the pure torture of Pickles' young mind made me feel such sympathy. I read this entire story in two hours, despite my difficulty with translation.
The ending especially intrigued me. I had all but forgotten about the very EXISTENCE of Dethklok, much less that they would reunite when the band eventually came to be. Now I'm letting the floodgate of the tear ducts relinquish their hold and allow a few tears to roll down my cheeks. That's how much I loved this story.
Your character development also astounds me throughout all of your writings. You do a wonderful job with that. My only complaint, if you can call it that, is Toki's incorrect grammar. I believe it not to be quite as bad as you show it to be. Other than that, you write Pickles' speech quite good, as well as Skwisgaar's and Murderface's, although they weren't present in this particular story.
Thank you for writing this brilliant piece of literature, I'm sure to continue reading your beautiful works of art.
| Misgiving Writer chapter 9 . 11/13/2011
Oh my God, the ending to this was just - I have no words to describe what I felt when I finished reading this story. The ending was just pure, simple genius. It truly was.
I would have thought that Pickles might have had a bigger reaction to the scars all over Toki's back, but that's just me. I tend to over-work things like that and make a bigger deal out of them then should be made. It just sort of seemed to me like Pickles might have gotten more mad or upset that first time he saw the criss-crossing scars all over his back.
Still, how you did Toki's father was simply amazing. You captured his thoughts and his way of seeing things, and his utter and simple hatred for his son, so perfectly. The punishments he gave out just really suited the scenes; and, as always, made me feel so bad for little Toki.
But what I really feel the need to applaud you for is that ending. I read the bit about Pickles leaving and just...*is ashamed* really started to tear up. Then all of a sudden you flashed to a few years later and I remembered that they were going to meet for the band to be made and - it was just wonderful. Simply wonderful.
Can't wait to read more from you!
| morbid333 chapter 9 . 10/12/2011
Nice story, I really liked it. I enjoyed the teenage Pickles immensly, as well as his attitude. Everybody was in character, and I liked the segment at Toki's parents' house. I credit you for actually using Norweigian. I like the language, even though I don't understand it. I want to learn it eventually though, along with German, Japanese, and a few more.
Just a couple of things I noted. Pickle's mannerisms had a few inconsistancies that I noticed. I could be mistaken, but that's just what I noticed. Also, don't quote me on this, but I heard that Toki's father had taken a vow of silence and therefore never spoke... I don't know if this would come under having occured before that or not... other than that, fully enjoyable. Personally, I might have done the sexual scene in slightly more detail, but that's just me.
Oh, and you successfully introduced me to a new pairing.
| Kerri-Ann chapter 9 . 7/30/2011
I love your writing. I love the way you keep the characters true to the show.
I'm quite gutted that the story ended that way though.
Are you possibly going to write a sequel to this because i think that would be great.
Really enjoyed teenage pickles/toki
| Mia Rii-Rii chapter 9 . 7/28/2011
Oh my. This was so absolutely sad and gorgeous! Beautiful. I think you should write like a little short story on-oh never mind! The ending was so perfect. A little abrupt but still good.
| Monthadog chapter 9 . 7/27/2011
I love this story soooo much! Please continue! I am so excited to see what happens next.
| Slegger0404 chapter 9 . 7/25/2011
Awesome. Pure awesomeness. I'm glad after all those years they found each other again :) I love this pairing so much!