|Reviews for The Darkness Beyond the Parapet|
| DorestadGirl chapter 1 . 6/11/2011
The rather crude and erratic narration makes this fic only more powerful, in only a couple of sentences you manage to draw out a large and tragic story. And I'm so glad you ended it on a happier note!
The only thing I didn't completely understand was in the beginning, where he commands his masters. [He stood between them and his masters, hair like platinum and eyes like steel.
"You aren't here to terrorize two teenage girls. Go." He was forceful in his words, commanding.] If you manage to become the master of Draco Malfoy, I don't think you'd let yourself be commanded so easily.
Things I especially enjoyed:
[She didn't see him again for months, and when she did, he was different.]
[The Carrows had played with him and it made her sick.]
[The darkness dissipated when the screeching body of a madman fell.] Voldemort, I presume? :D
In short, I loved it :)
| Anna Scathach chapter 1 . 5/27/2011
"The darkness bit at them like a rabid animal, all teeth and had never expected to be caught in the middle, but here they were. All alone like helpless children as the darkness encroached on them." This is the perfect first sentence, instantly sets the mood.
KY, his is so pretty and haunting - it nearly made me cry. You portray desperation really well, I think. They both seem so fragile here, but I'm glad the last sentence does bring some hope for a happy ending.
Your writing is so much lime poetry that it's actually a bit scary. You're a great writer, Ky. "Her knight in platinum and steel", "the room they'd lined with promises", "she married Harry in a small chapel, bluebell flowers in her hair and a bracelet on her wrist". Beautiful.
This is perfect in every sense of the word. The plotis heartbreaking, the writing flwoign and descriptive, ad the characters are true to their canon selves. Great, great fic! I'm sure Lizz is ecstatic.
Love you. )
| amethyst-rose chapter 1 . 5/25/2011
The was brilliant! I love the imagery, it's so heartfelt and beautiful. I love how short but strong it is. Wonderful!
| hannah askance chapter 1 . 5/25/2011
Whew. Dramatic. That's the first impression I got of this piece - and it's the good kind of dramatic, the one which sends shivers up your spine. The sentences are blunt and undecorated, which really does fit the context of this piece. There are a lot of things that I really liked here. For instance, the comparison of Draco's eyes (yum) to steel and rust. I'd have to look it up, but I'm pretty certain that steel doesn't rust, so that sentence really stood out to me and it described his character in the situation perfectly. The determination and the doubts.
Something else I liked was the insinuation that there were different kinds of darkness(es?). Authors usually just say "oh, darkness, both of them have been touched by it, haven't they? Oh and yeah, the war's full of darkness too." But the way you put it, "It gave a barrier to the darkness. Between hers, his, and the darkness of the war." And it's true. Their darkness came from different origins (to put it separately from Voldemort), they've dealt with it differently, and the war's darkness isn't so intrinsic as it is a whole other separate kind of darkness. /ramble
I loved the part that told of the wedding. Although she married Harry, her bracelet says he's not the only one she's in love with. But even then, it is heartbreaking that Harry died after only roughly a month of victory. Poor Harry. That sentence has just a touch of finality which is almost heartbreaking, but the open ending you finished this piece with was just the thing to keep it from being too angsty.
I realise that most of the things I've talked about in the review are the conceptual things and not, say, narrative, structure, etc. While it is possible that it's because I've been traumatised by my English exam (:P) I think it's because that the concepts you brought here with your metaphors and everything was absolutely golden, and I love them. So I say, what a job well done. :D
| rowan-greenleaf chapter 1 . 5/24/2011
This was beautiful, Kyla. But it was very sad and very heavy, even if there was a happy ending. And I'm so, so glad there was a happy ending!
It's like your usual elegant, succinct writing, but I feel like you're telling so many different stories here that are tied in into one. It feels like one big journey, one that only lasts a few seconds but spans ages. I don't know, I really, really liked it. I like how Draco changes throughout, and I like that in the end he comes back.
Beautifully done. _
| Miss-Talkative chapter 1 . 5/23/2011
You wrote this just in 20 mins? Gosh this was fantastic. Everything about it was powerful. The narrative style was beautiful. What I liked most was throughout there was this brooding vibe and at the end a glimmer of lightness.
I adore this Ky, good job. _
| TuesdayNovember chapter 1 . 5/23/2011
Excuse my temporary incoherence. The above should very well describe how I felt reading this. It. Was. Stunning. Exactly everything I could have ever wanted: dark, brooding, powerful, with just a tiny hint of lightness at the end.
I absolutely loved the fact that this was almost entirely devoid of speech. It made the one line really stand out, and added a certain striking distance between us and the narrative. It was written in a very distant, almost emotionless way, except that by writing it in that was (short sentences, very few descriptions of emotion) you actually made it MORE emotional, because instead of giving us emotions, you gave us situations and had us insert our own emotions into it.
The last section was especially stunning and powerful. Everything seems to crumble around Ginny - she loses Draco, and shortly after having Harry to cling to, she loses him too.
And the very, very last section was especially beautiful. The devotion, the absolute beauty of the love she feels for Draco that she would sacrifice so much time just to watch for him...it's absolutely beautiful.
I loved this, Ky. Absolutely adored it. Beautifully written, passionate, romantic, dark, STUNNING.