Reviews for Potter and Mclain
Killeraction49 chapter 1 . 1/4
I think you should make her harrys girlfriend, can't wait for the next chapter please update soon.
alexanderjohn.golveo chapter 1 . 12/6/2013
I like this story pls when is the next chapter ?
Oh and I'm voting for ember x harry just so you know
MasterShadowAssassin chapter 1 . 10/16/2013
i would like to see ember as harry's girlfriend because personally i cant see ember being a motherly figure. hope you update soon its been two years.
bookhugger98 chapter 1 . 2/1/2013
BookWorm230 chapter 1 . 4/24/2012
Motherly Figure please :)
Hanzo of the Salamander 2.0 chapter 1 . 8/30/2011
I look forward to reading what happens next in your story

number 14-daxlyn chapter 1 . 8/10/2011
good story i hope more soon and ember should be harrys girlfreind maybe have harrys magic turn him half ghost can stay with her and the ghost powers be "the power he knows not"
Kyubi9 chapter 1 . 7/25/2011
HI YA! Kyubi9 here saying I think either would work. You could also make two separate versions of the stories One with Harry dating Ember and one where she decides to act as his mother. Though I find the idea of Harry growing up and act like Ember funny. Well thats all I have to say and I hope you decide to update soon.

master chief 118 chapter 1 . 6/14/2011
i say girlfriend with a the crap harry went trough in his live he deserves someone who loves him

and who he will spend his entire live and afterlife with
Riotstarter1214 chapter 1 . 5/27/2011
I think girlfriend wouldeork better with her personality. Make it m and longer. I like to read about ember getting plowed like a dog in heat.
Ninja Master chapter 1 . 5/27/2011
Up date sooon! Harry x Ember pairing for sure!
Blood Brandy chapter 1 . 5/26/2011
I say girlfriend, have her put some rebellion into Harry.
aback chapter 1 . 5/25/2011
geek179 chapter 1 . 5/25/2011
I think it all depends on how old Harry is. If you want her to be motherly I think he has to be younger than 15. But I don't know what Harry Book you are doing this from, so I'm not sure...
Forgottem chapter 1 . 5/24/2011
I'd say girlfriend. Ember's too irresponsible and teen-ish to be motherly in the context we're familiar with.

Now, on to criticism! I will do my best to be constructive.

Chapter length. It's very, very short. Your first chapter is all of six short to mid length paragraphs. As an introductory chapter, that's not a problem. It, like the summary, is meant to draw the reader in based on the offered premise of the story, to give them a glimpse and let them see what they may like.

Your spelling. Actually, I don't have any complaints about your spelling. Good job!

Characterization. We're not far enough into your story to see how that will play out. My only real suggestion would be to watch the DP episodes with Ember in them, read some HP or watch the movies, and use those as a base from which to draw out the character. There are purists who believe that character growth and personality drift are anathema in fanfiction, in reality that's part of the joy of reading it.

In summary: No real complaints, work on chapter length for future chapters, and I hope to see this at the top of the DP crossovers listings in the near future.
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