|Reviews for Lost Number Rhea|
| Jade Tatsu chapter 1 . 3/14/2012
Having only read the first chapter, your writing is pretty good though a bit of work on spelling would be nice. I think it's just typos and they are annoying but they can be jarring when people ready them.
I honestly think you should work on your fic summary. I have no idea who Rhea is or why I should even care about her. That summary is what sells your fic so you gotta make it good and yes I have trouble with that as well. Also is it Rhia or Rhea? You are using both spellings so it's a little confusing.
I am curious to know why you have Cronos being such a... well caring organisation. Yamamura was not a nice guy given how he betrayed Cronos later. More development on your Jackal character would help here to show how he really is the bad guy. The short line at the beginning sets the scene but doesn't really show the whole story.
Just from the first chapter it is a good beginning but since you are inside Cronos it seemed a bit fluffy.