|Reviews for Echoes|
| Illuminated chapter 41 . 18h
I think you are using the neck cracking cliche a bit too much.
| Mizzet chapter 64 . 1/13
Well first of, I really enjoyed this story.
I loved a lot of the characters. I loved how they changed over time. And (which other people might dislike) I loved that people could die. And I loved that was still a happy end despite you not being afraid of giving your main characters real and lasting consequences.
Have to admit I can scarcely remember how this whole thing started, it's been over 5 years and the equivalent of 7 average length books. So many of the fanfic authors I've read would have stopped long ago, and I'm really happy you preserved and brought this to what I felt is a satisfying conclusion.
Since I'm not re-reading the whole 660,000 words (at the moment, might do so at some later point), I can't give too much of a review of the whole work. Beyond saying that I quite enjoyed the themes and the execution. You managed multiverses and gods well, which is really hard and especially the second one has killed my interest in a lot of stories.
For the last chapter and the epilogue.
I had for a long time believed that the Warlord they'd been fighting would have been just another Shadow Clone. The final fight until the end did not seem quite like a final fight to me.
However, this was not because the stacks weren't clear or because the enemy wasn't terrifying or anything like that, but simply because so many of the fights in this story were written with such intensity.
There were so many incredibly strong opponents to overcome against whom the struggle felt so desperate and against whom great sacrifices were necessary. The death count among your protagonists attests to that.
I greatly enjoyed that part of your story, but in the context of the last climactic battle, it made it kind of hard to stand out. Even with the stakes and even with the climactic finisher, the last fight just did not feel that much more epic to me than all the other great struggles before it.
It was still a very enjoyable read, it just didn't manage to stand out as that one epic climactic battle, among all the other epic climactic battles throughout the story.
I dislike them looking at the cannon setting at the end. Even with the characters saying they don't want any fame and it being good that they don't know about them, it still felt kind of like saying "Look at how much bigger and grander the final battle of my story was than cannon's". A tie in to the main story sounds like a good idea and could have been interesting, but in this case I didn't like the execution.
Finally the epilogue was enjoyable. It showed the characters building something after there was so much destruction, which seems like a really good finisher for the story. You didn't go into too much detail for most of them, but what was shown clearly painted a happy picture, even if not all problems were resolved by the Warlord's demise.
I was also really happy about characters that died being mentioned at the memorial, dead but not forgotten. How many of the character's that started traveling with the group in the beginning are still alive and how many died? It was nice just to see them mentioned again.
As you said, you left yourself several plothooks open, but while I would be happy to read more of echoes, I think this is a satisfying conclusion to this epic.
And at the end of this review I just want to thank you for writing this story. It was great to be along for the ride and I hope to be able to read even more stories from you.
| Redery chapter 3 . 1/14
Oh shit every universe they visit there'll be another Madara! He better recruit some Itachi's or other powerful guys lol
| Redery chapter 2 . 1/14
Surprised they let him practice with shadow clones instead of just taking him out especially since it should've been obvious he isn't that powerful the way he was practicing. Also what did he do for food and where'd he stay and get money? This will remain a problem for all the universes he goes to.
Other than that really interesting!
| Redery chapter 1 . 1/14
Wow this is really intriguing! Quite unique as well.
Was that the Aloe vera bastard at the end? He was one of the most annoying Akatsuki members
| mvfclmac chapter 64 . 1/10
Very nicely done. It was a good story with many turns and twists of the plot. Congratulations on finishing the story!
| Illuminated chapter 33 . 1/8
I liked kakuzu naming everyone as their bounty a lot, it was quite funny.
| Illuminated chapter 31 . 1/7
When sasori, a puppet, spits at the words of Alpha, what exactly is he spitting? Sap? Furniture polish? Jaw lubricating oil? It was quite wise of sasori to build in such a picturesque feature.
| Zer0m00n chapter 64 . 1/6
Thank you for a wonderful story. I hope to read other works from you!
| Senyor Fier Mensheir chapter 64 . 1/6
I LOVED IT TO BITS AND PIECES AND HAVEN'T SLEPT SINCE I STARTED READING IT.
| Mr. Red Hex chapter 64 . 1/5
Well it's been an amazing ride, and I'm thankful you allowed us all to join you for it. All I can say is don't dwell on the faults, we're human, and you made a great piece worthy of recognition and praise. My only question after it all, s what happened with the Warlord's Hinata? Maybe a mystery for another time, but all and all it was fun. Good luck on your future endeavors, and thanks again.
| L-Lewd chapter 7 . 1/5
"it might be a bloodline, whichl was not aware even existed." You forgot to space which and I. It was after the battle and the part where kakashi was recovering and talking to his team while Kazama is spying. great chapters! Reread thing sure is fun
| Born2BeGodLike chapter 3 . 1/5
I give up here. No matter how much i try. I can't never find multi verse stories intresting. What i can do i congratulate you for completing a story.
| Kejmur chapter 64 . 1/5
One of the best fanfictions on website with interesting story and fun bunch of characters. I will mention few things which I feel like to comment on :D.
1) I'm a bit dissapointed that Female Gaara in the end didn't have as important of a role as expected. Especially that in earlier chapters in author notes you mentioned that she would get important role in the end, but outside of few short notes nothing important happened with her. A bit dissapointing, but oh well.
2) I also expected a bit more of Kitsune, but his last fight and heroic death satisfied me in the end.
3) Also curious what kind of training Iruka had. It's so rare to find fanfiction where he actually matters and it's a shame this one also didn't give him some sort of bigger role. I think short Omake would suffice here.
4) Did Jiraiya in the end ended up with Tsunade ? I assume yes, but hey, some sort of confirmation would be nice.
Although those points are really minor things, so they barely matter in the end. Maybe in the end posting few short chapters to cover some missing information like this would be nice. Maybe call it "Echoes - Backstory" or something ?
5) Feral Gale. I have nothing against his character actually, but he is very crackish/humor based character which is simply far more fitting in more comedy setting IMO. Or rather not as drama heavy story as this one. His comments and personality in some moments simply were off. I felt he was out of place in the whole story. I would rather see for example Team 7 from "Genius Sensei" in a story which is as chaotic / dramatic as this one and death toll is even higher then here. Heck, they were strong enough to beat OP hax Madara we all know and actually make it logical (once we include ninja magic bullcrap of course :D).
6) I'm glad you didn't include fillers even if they had some characters with ok potential I guess (Shizuka, Isaribi, etc.). Some movies though should show up. Jinchuuriki of the Mōryō Naruto sounds like interesting concept which could call Ghost Army, Yukigakure!Naruto, ShinnoStudent! Naruto, StoneofGelel! Naruto or Reibi Jinchuuriki as few examples could provide some unique perspectives. Also if you wanted to be cruel you could include Civilian!Naruto or Bandit!Naruto somewhere :D.
On canon stuff Byakugan!Naruto with Minato and Hinata's Mother illegal affair sounds unique as well.
Also I didn't expect lack of Hatake!Naruto (or Responsible!Kakashi) universe as this one option is decently common in fanfiction. Also missed a bit GenJutsu!Naruto like in "Masters of GenJutsu" story. And most shocking missing archetype - SealMaster! Naruto, probably one of the most overused ones where sealing is their main way of fighting / preparing battlefield. Probably Chibaku was one, but he always used puppetry as his ninja art.
Well you may simply include those in "Alternate Scenarios" one-shots or something ?
7) What surprised me was lack of Evil!Sasuke in any shape or form as many people simply love to turn him into a villain. Not a bad thing, just surprised.
8) I like the final fight the way it was presented, although not a fan of Yugito death. Reason for this is that just too many non-Uzumaki or non-Uchiha characters died on good side. In a multiverse full of overpowered ninja where speed is very crucial factor and with extremely powerful techniques (many strong characters are speed demons like Minato, Raikage, etc.) quick and fast fight simple fits those criterias. Prolonged fights in this kind of setting and power levels simple sound off.
9) Logic wise I don't know how Prime!Naruto and Prime!Sasuke weren't involded in final fight in any shape and form when it happened on their planet, especially when we take into account how beastly of a sensor Naruto is later on. Also we could avoid this last fight between them which I wasn't fan of. It could happen in few ways:
a) Warlord! Naruto shows up and simply beat them up as long as SP6 mode isn't included IMO. Taking into account his arrogance and how how loves to toy with his others they probably would survive before Arashi clan members show up.
b) They simply are asked to help 'good guys'. Taking into account importance of that final battle they would help them no matter what and I can't imagine alliance against Warlord would ignore guys as strong as them.
c) They intervene in the middle of final fight, probably their role minor just to let main characters shine this time.
Unless Warlord! Naruto simply prepared battlefield to the point where it was almost impossible to detect them (so no one intervenes, even gods if they suddenly decide to do something) which would explain this. I love the fight the way it is anyway, it's just hard for my logic to swallow this.
Although I can respect that you wanted 100% original story without borrowing characters creating by Kishimoto himself.
10) Props for great omakes, they made me laugh hard. Only thing which would make them even better is scenario where Money-Sama and Kakuzu contact /observe most important champion / chosen one of Money-Sama, etc. Scrooge McDuck which Kakuzu end up working for / idolizing. Blessing of Money-Sama would also explain his literal immortality taking into account how old he is. Hmmm this sounds like a potential fan crack story. Also your versions of villains (Deidara, Kakuzu, etc.) in pretty much all cases were superior to canon ones, so props again for this.
11) I really don't think it's neccesary, but if you indeed plan to rewrite some part of the story, it may as well be presented as alternate scenario instead with some different outcomes. Potential of this setting is simply immense with infinite amount of worlds to write about.
If you by any chance don't plan to continue this one day no matter what, I hope that reliable replacement would show up as I'm hungry for more from this universe. It's that good. Personally I think it should stick 100% towards Elemental Nations without any crossover elements.
12) What I applaud is also Kazuma way of presenting his pairing(s). The way you wrote it in epilogue you can't exactly say if it is in fact love triangle (so harem fans are happy) or it's just a standard pair. I think this is one of few stories where I wouldn't mind both options (I despise harems in 99% of cases, so congratz on being in 1% here).
If I by any chance think of commenting on something else, I will post another comment or send PM. If you need any help, opinions, discuss something feel free to PM me anytime. Cheers and good luck ;).
| Atlas chapter 64 . 1/3
This is not the end of the trip, you have not reached your destination. This is only the beginning of a new journey. (Read as: sequel plz)