Reviews for Camp Pokemon
XtremeDream chapter 2 . 2/12/2012
Oh wow, the first three chapters aren't even fanfiction. They're notes. Imagine if Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone started off with three author's notes. That would piss off some impatient readers.

You garner so much attention, and the result is a mediocre product. You barely have any description, you make some obvious punctuation errors, and you capitalize in wierd areas.

Ex. "It is a sunny day in Sinnoh. In a quaint home in the lush verdant Floaroma Town, a boy with messy hair woke up from his nice sleep."

Not only is it devoid of description, but you have your tenses wrong. The first sentence is in the present, the second in the past.

Ex. 2 "Hi Chris!, How did you sleep last night?"

Um... why is there an exclamation point and a comma next to eac other?

Ex. 3 "Oooh! I'll take that! Thanks dad!" and ""Hmm... Okay, let's get things started!" he got out of his bed,"

First sentence, you forgot to capitalize Dad. And you know this, because later on, you actually capitalize the word. Second sentence, you forget to capitalize He after ending the previous sentence.

It's as if you wrote it in a hurry (like one day) and quickly posted it without reading over it and checking for spelling errors. That results in a poorly written fanfic. I look on, and see more of the same thing. Even the original characters, developed by actual people, seem bland in comparison with actual Pokemon anime characters. Maybe you improve in the future. But I'm too demented with the first five average chapters to actually read.

Pros:

-At least you write

-Interesting premise

Cons:

-Asking for OCs so you can WRITE the fanfic

-Below average capitalization and punctuation

-boring original characters with no features that we can relate to.

-Lack of description

-Feels rushed

Final Score: 4/10
The Silver Magician of Chaos chapter 8 . 2/11/2012
You did great with the chapter keep it up! And my 17th birthday is coming on the 22 of this month too!
CoffeeTarts chapter 7 . 2/6/2012
Wow, this is great so far

Thanks again, for including Sammy! (

Finally, the real story can unfold now, with the characters introduced. :]

Anyways, here's the form for Sammy;

Shelves?: Yes, for books and a family photo she places facing her bed - one of when she and Danny were kids, a year before their parents split up. Oh, and a simple white speaker dock, for her mp3 when she feels like switching from her earphones to stereo.

Bed: A twin sized bed with a brown frame, [of course] an orange and black checkered/plaid bed cover, one orange pillow, one black pillow and for theme, a Vileplume flower shaped pillow as well, on her bed.

Gadgets: A plain yellow alarm clock. Also, a small Pikachu shaped lamp.

Pokemon: Yes, but only a bed for Ombra is out, he tends to snuggle up to Sammy, along with Cecil - which explains why Sammy hardly gets any sleep .. since they seem to fight over the bed space [or for her warmth/attention].

Zeref simply sleeps on the floor next to the bed .. like a guard. And, well, Thomas rarely comes out, and is fine with sleeping in his pokeball. Guinevere can't come out, since she's a Lapras ..

P.H.M.?: Yes, please.

Other?: Hm .. ironically, she has a Teddiursa stuffed animal on her bed, and often gets confused on whether this is Cecil, or her stuffed bear.

That, and she has random posters hanging around on her side of the room - of .. quite random things, actually! Flowers, or clouds, or even dog-like Pokemon.
Silver Snow7 chapter 7 . 1/30/2012
For the form:

Shelves: No

Bed: purple covers and a red pillow

Gadgets: PokeNav and Poketch

Pokemon: 3 pokemon beds

P.H.M.?: Yes
Mato Rin chapter 7 . 1/29/2012
For Rin and Katsuya, I would say:

RIN:

Shelves?: Yes. She likes to display things.

Bed: Black covers. Simple black covers.

Gadgets: Poketch, and a PokeGear, as well as Pokedex. Oh, and an iPod.

Pokemon: Leafeon has a special blanket that Rin uses to cover her. Leafeon tends to sleep on any bed that Rin's on, so...

P.H.M.?: Yes. (This is short for Pokemon Healing Machine. It is like the machine used by the Pokemon Centers in the games but smaller.

Other?: Picture of her family back home. She'd leave it with her gadgets on the shelf.

KATSUYA:

Shelves?: Yes

Bed: Blankets are simply grey.

Gadgets: PokeGear and a Poketch. Nothing else.

Pokemon: Not really anything, save for a disturbing voo doo doll that his Misdreavus tends to have...

P.H.M.?: Yes

Other?: Strangely enough, he has a dream catcher he hangs on the wall above his bed.
awesomeness127 chapter 7 . 1/29/2012
Loved it! Anywho for the form . . .

Shelves: Maybe one or two, for some trophies and metals that isabella gotten for a sport at her school. Doesn't matter what sport. U can choose!

Beds: Isabellas bed Can be by the window with strips covers and blankets she brought from home. (Her mother made her bring them)

Pokemon: Well they usually sleep in their pokeball, except for her little gray eevee thatt sleeps at the foot of her bed!

P.H.M: sure! Doesn't matter.

Love this story! Good job so far!
KingOfStories01 chapter 7 . 1/28/2012
Shelves?: Yes, he has some books on Pokemon battling, a couple on how Munna's Dream Mist works, and a photo collection of him and Jun.

Bed: brown bed frame, yellow bedsheets, blue pillow

Gadgets: C-Gear, Good Rod, Vs Recorder

Pokemon: He has a bed for his Purrloin, as well as a small jar for his Munna's dream mist.

P.H.M.?: Yes

Other?: Flashlight, pen and paper (for writing letters), sewing kit (he's good at sewing).

Hm... is it the Total Drama Island intro?
The Silver Magician of Chaos chapter 7 . 1/28/2012
You are doing a great job with the story, keep its up!

Shelves?: Yes, with mangas, books, and art books

Bed: a black bed frame and white bed covers

Gadgets: a lamp, a alarm clock and a music box!

Pokemon: 4 beds with blankets (two psychics marks, one ice mark, and one dark mark on there beds)

P.H.M.?: Yes

Other?: a few extra blankets, and pillows just in case if its very, very cold in the winter.
The Silver Magician of Chaos chapter 7 . 1/28/2012
You are doing a great job with the story, keep its up!

Shelves?: Yes, with mangas, books, and art books

Bed: a black bed frame and white bed covers

Gadgets: a lamp, a alarm clock and a music box!

Pokemon: 4 beds with blankets (two psychics marks, one ice mark, and one dark mark on there beds)

P.H.M.?: Yes

Other?: a few extra blankets, and pillows just in case if its very, very cold in the winter.
The Silver Magician of Chaos chapter 7 . 1/28/2012
You are doing a great job with the story, keep its up!

Shelves?: Yes, with mangas, books, and art books

Bed: a black bed frame and white bed covers

Gadgets: a lamp, a alarm clock and a music box!

Pokemon: 4 beds with blankets (two psychics marks, one ice mark, and one dark mark on there beds)

P.H.M.?: Yes

Other?: a few extra blankets, and pillows just in case if its very, very cold in the winter.
The Silver Magician of Chaos chapter 7 . 1/28/2012
You are doing a great job with the story, keep its up!

Shelves?: Yes, with mangas, books, and art books

Bed: a black bed frame and white bed covers

Gadgets: a lamp, a alarm clock and a music box!

Pokemon: 4 beds with blankets (two psychics marks, one ice mark, and one dark mark on there beds)

P.H.M.?: Yes

Other?: a few extra blankets, and pillows just in case if its very, very cold in the winter.
Annabell23 chapter 7 . 1/28/2012
I'm not sure if counselers have to do this so I will!

Shelves?: Yes/No: yep! On them the have tons of different books. Some about Pokemon battling and cordination. And the rest are just fun books to read.

Bed: white bedspread with rainbow colored poka dots! With matching pillows! :D Gotta have the most annoying bedspread for a 15 year old counselor!

Gadgets: oh gosh what's that thing they have in Sinnoh? A pokéWatch? I think that's it... Well Anna has one of those. And of coarse an alarm clock. (man I hate those things!)

Pokemon: (Are there any beds, things for your pokemon to put also in the cabin.) Yep I'm just going to say 6 Pokemon beds. Each one a shade of what their element is. (example: water pokemon blue, fire Pokemon red, ect.)

P.H.M.?: Yes/No (This is short for Pokemon Healing Machine. It is like the machine used by the Pokemon Centers in the games but smaller. Yes! Everyone needs one of these!

Other?: (Any other things you want to put in the cabin...)

Just because I can on the side of my bed on a little table I have my drawing book with pencils and colored pencils. Also the book I'm currently reading. And the alarm clock.

Yeps Good chapter!
awesomeness127 chapter 6 . 1/22/2012
Wow been forever since u updated! BUT I FREAKIN LOVED IT!Can't wait till the next chapter! o
XtremeDream chapter 1 . 1/21/2012
What is up with the crazy amount of OC fanfics on the pokemon fandom? It's driving me crazy! Make your own characters for God's sake, don't take the easy way out and ask people for their own! I bet if they didn't see your accepting OC sign on your summary, they wouldn't even click it to check it out!
KingOfStories01 chapter 6 . 1/21/2012
Well, that was an interesting chapter! I'm glad all the OCs have been introduced. I can't wait to see this start up.

In any case, to be honest, I'm pretty out of touch with most cultural fads, so the "G6" one went right over my head. And I didn't even notice the Spongebob one... damn...
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