|Reviews for A House Divided|
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 23 . 2/1/2014
Loved the start. Billy's feelings over Helen, so raw and real. Very dangerous for them but they need to be honest with one another. I personally was jumping for joy the whole time and doing a happy dance! This is how Helen and Billy should be.
They don't have much choice. Tell ya what hun, you had me glued to my laptop screen thinking, shit. what's going to happen. something has to happen. all the way through this chapter. WHAT are you doing to me?! I love ya but your writing is just plan addictive.
Joey. That scene. Very and unbelievably powerful. First Billy's keeping Joe out of it and the way you describe his tone, even I could hear that menacing order. Second Danny's there agreeing with him, trying to keep Joe from getting involved. No way does she want to lose him. I wouldn't.
Oh Danny you certainly had him floored. I think I looked a little surprised when she mentioned about having the chance to marry him but that final sentence :O:O:O But if you chase after your brother, you'll end up just like him. Alone. Oh I'm dying to find out what happens here... Your evil girl. You know just how to get me all fired up when reading your stories!
Helen and Sid made me smile. Him trying to shave and her batting his arm. That man, closing his eyes and holding in his irritation. That man, oh hell.
Oh shit. They want Helen alive?! What the hell is Billy going to do? What the hell are any of them going to do?! You need to update girl, I'm back hanging here and I don't like it.
What is Joe going to do? Sid? Please don't kill Sid. I am officially an emotion wreck.
SOOOO, when are you going to update?
Amazing as always!
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 22 . 2/1/2014
Oh Helen, I love her. Only Billy had ever been her lover. She is such a strong kick ass character but I have to admit, I love her soft side. Makes her human.
I seriously think I sound like a broken record when I start reading your chapters. You are definitely moving me with your written words, where Billy said he would tattoo her name. They are in love, that is clear and you write them beautifully.
Poor Joe. I can really feel his anger and frustration at the Russians, they hurt the girl he loves and he understandably wants revenge. I get that. I love him and Danny, I just hope he can make her happy again - getting caught in the crossfire is not something she needed.
Taking a pop at Bodie. Bad move Joey. But luckily he saw sense in the end... By the way, your attention to detail when writing a scene still amazes me. Definitely something I hope to achieve in my writing. I just had to say it! :D
So hot. Oh so hot. Billy and Helen just have it. They are so good together and I am so happy they are back doing what they should be! Cold shower I think though girl. God damn, if only I could have Billy Darley in there with me huh?
Oh Sid, he's questioning their leader... I can understand it. I'm just wondering how he and Helen will handle it when she finds out they buried him without her... not well I'm gathering knowing how loyal Helen is to her guys!
Sid is officially amazing. The conversation with his brother had me gripped. 'I need ya ta bury me' NOPE. No one is burying you sweetheart, you are too important to die and girl, seriously if you kill Sid I'm not going to be happy! (You took someone else very close to me to! hint hint)
The ending made me a happy girl. Joey and Danny together again, happy(ish) again! I just hope the happiness lasts between them because she is a godsend for that boy, he needs her!
I can't believe it took me soooo long to read and review this story for you girl. I love it and can't wait to read the next chapter! :D
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 21 . 2/1/2014
Hi girl :) Long time no speak. I have had this in my reading list and I am so sorry for not reviewing sooner. I love this story, I always have and I always will. Life just has been getting in the way, new job and what not. Makes it difficult to get reading and writing done.
BUT. I'm back and loving this story as always! Helen and Billy, love them. I can't say this enough to you. You write them brilliantly and their chemistry. Wowza!
The forces they are playing with, such a powerful force and I can't help but wonder how this is all going to end. I mean the Russians are a pretty nasty deal. Oh I'm worried girl. You have me nervous.
Holy hell, they are hot together. I love how Helen could tell something was off though. Oh and Billy, you deserved that crack in the jaw. You just had to go there didn't you... I would be pissed to!
Their fight was intense! I felt like I was reading this with my eyes wide open, wincing from time to time! They are just Helen and Billy and I missed them! :)
Oh Sid, I missed Sid to. Love him, love him, love him!
I'm heading for the next one! Love this story and Can't wait to see what's about to happen.
As always you are the writing queen my girl.
LOVE YA, Miss ya - hope to catch up soon
| redhedlund chapter 22 . 8/12/2012
AHAHAH, i'm sorry to be so late, I was in a town in Bordeaux where I didn't have wifi. So I read on my phone but I couldn't post any review ! So, you're welcome you know ! And I love you too !
So review time :
- GAAAAH. THE SCENE BETWEEN BILLY AND HELEN, GRAOU ! It was a real pleasure to read it, I mean the chemistry between these two is perfect. I loved it !
- " "And I'm gonna gut anybody who gets in my fuckin' way of killin' the motherfucker who touched my girl." Bodie raised an eyebrow.
"Watch it, kid."
"I AM NOT A FUCKIN' KID!" Joey screamed so loud he could hear his voice echo off the glasses behind the bar. "
THIS. Wow. I understand Joey at some point, you know. Of course, screaming at Bodie was not the best way to feel better, but I guess he needed to yell at someone. And Bodie was here.
- I have no word for Billy and Helen, except one maybe : PERFECT.
- Sid. I love Sid, can I marry him ? And Zeke, I actually really like this guy ! That scene was intense, I loved it !
- JOEY. Oh my god. I love that kid so much, what he did was so... wow. Danny & Joey are so perfect together, like... really.
GREAT CHAPTER GIRL ! Can't wait to read the next one !
| boredasanything chapter 22 . 8/8/2012
| redhedlund chapter 21 . 7/27/2012
That was awesome, I need to read more of that !
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 20 . 1/15/2012
HAHAHA, Well you know me babe - I LOVE a good club scene! This was just amazingly done - brilliant chapter and just like always, leaves me craving more! )
To start, i like Billy's thoughts initially of the club... very realistic, pulled from his memories 'Billy would only have to take a hold of one and she'd toss a sly smile over her shoulder and let him do what he wanted. The music made the girls animals, more so than anywhere else. Here, they would lift their skirts so they could grind on anything male. Here, they were the ones who acted like horny idiots.' LOVE the comparison - compared to Stokely, they are technically far from home ;)#
:D :D :D This made me smile like an idiot '"Name?" The large man grunted, eyeing Billy's tattoos and Bodie's biceps as he crossed his arms over his chest. Without blinking, Billy pulled three bills from his jacket's breast pocket and held them between two fingers in front of the man's face. "Benjamin Franklin." He growled back. The bouncer studied the money for a moment, then snatched it and stepped aside. Bodie smirked a little as they tossed the curtain and entered the darkness.' Money will get you anywhere in that world - and this scene shows it - Billy Darley doing what he does best...
:D :D :D Loving this babe, seriously perfect banter between the boys! Had me grinning '"Bill and Bodie just went inside, we gotta move." Heco shot back, taking a handful of his friend's shirt and tugging it tight against his throat. "You can blow your load another time." Clamping his eyes closed, Baggy reluctantly released the girl's hips and backed away, following Heco into the bar area of the club. "I hate your fuckin' guts." He hissed as they moved around the crowd waiting for drinks. "I'm gonna be blue for a week." Heco shook his head and tried to hide the grin on his face.' You write them so real, just how i picture them; like i am really there... the chemistry between them is done so freaking well! Just Awesome! Love it! )
Oh is this not the biggest fucking truth EVER... 'Unfortunately, he had a code. He didn't pay for it. No strippers and no hookers. Unlike the assholes slipping bills into the G-strings all over the room, Billy was able to pick up girls on his own. He would never let that ability go to waste.' :D :D :D BIG SMILES! SPOT fucking ON :P
HOT HOT HOT '"I wanna meet your boss." Billy let his accent thicken and his eyes burn as he growled at the man. This was his city and he was going to show the foreigners who they'd messed with.' WOW your treating me with the Darley man tonight!
Keeping the accents! LOVING IT - Awesome stuff babe! '"I vas vondering when you'd drop in to see me, Mr. Darley." Billy sniffed at the title, but made no mention of the displeasure it brought him.' Truly - it's like sitting beside Billy ***Oh how i wish***
So i am blown away by the conversation between Billy and Andrei, took some balls to go see such a man but Billy being Billy did and he aced it - you fucking aced this scene, loved every word '"You're mixin' up business and pleasure, Andrei." Then he plastered a cocky grin on his lips. "I fuck 'er. Doesn't mean I clean up 'er messes." Andrei returned the smile and laughed through his nose.' AHHH Billy, your saying one thing BUT your hearts saying another ;) I can see but we'll play it smart for the prick in front :P LOVE
BAW, Love the scene between Helen and Kade! Nice to see that in there amist the rest... nice way to spread the scenes out '"Watch what ya say next, kid." She teased, shaking her head and looking back out the window. They were in a busy parking structure, on the top floor so they could see down onto the street. They'd driven Kade's crappy 1998 Toyota Camry, avoiding any attention a bullet-riddled Jeep would have drawn in. "Don't care who ya are, I'll still hurt ya." He grinned and slouched further in the seat.' Just had me grinning...again, like an idiot... Thanks babe ;)
THIS SCENE had me mixed - I was right there with Mr Darley all the way.. 'Walking up behind her, he adjusted her hips, widening her stance until he could see the lips hanging below the cusp of her ass. She was perfectly formed and it bothered him that such a fine piece was working this way. The girl would make a fortune as a porn star. With a single finger, he probed the soft, hairless petals and discovered she was warm, but not nearly as wet as he'd hoped. Avoiding her imploring face, he slowly pumped the finger in and out of her, gently stroking the spot hidden inside her walls. He knew the female body well enough; he could get her wet. As he continued, she started to rock slightly, her hips meeting his hand as she ground into each stroke.' He wanted to... but he didn't because in his own words, she was a slave... So on one hand I was like 'Billy fucking Darley again doing what he does best' ***How i wish that could be me - sigh - cold shower NEEDED pronto with that Darley hottest*** THEN on the other, the girl only knew one thing... I love how real and raw you made this, his reactions to it the whole way through... amazing!
:D :D :D OHHH I do love Sid, this had me smiling 'Here he was, worried about having a third drink when Darley's men were getting off? Sid tossed the drink back with an angry roll of his eyes, but flinched when his shoulder pulled under his jacket. He set the glass down gently and adjusted his arm. Unable to wear a sling, he was trying to keep his arm still.' I just want to wrap my arms around him - that man just does something to me... :D :D :D
HAHAHAHAHA '"Yes dear?" Helen's snort was a mixture of amusement and boredom. "Are they all dead or are ya just having too much fun in there?" Sid glanced down at the jeans that clung to his muscular legs. Apparently they were supposed to be that tight. "I'm havin' a fuckin' blast, hun." He took another gulp of Scotch as Helen sighed in his ear.' LOVE LOVE LOVE! Their chemistry - perfection!
Okay, perfect as always babe! Sparkly needs an update and soon, excited to see what you have planned Missy! Love this story!
*MASSIVE HUGS* Love ya lots and lots!
| xxCherieweexx chapter 20 . 1/8/2012
Gosh I get so damn envious of your writing! Seriously its so mature and edgy, I love it! LMFAO clearly makes for great inspiration! Ahhh I'm scared for whats going to happen now. You had me freaking out when it seemed Billy was going to sell Helen out! You have made up some amazing characters and plot points, seriously I could see this being an actual published piece...and people would pay for it! Love you and your writing...im working hard on your short now as I write!
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 19 . 1/2/2012
:D :D BIG love right back at ya babe! SOOOOOO Chapter 19, well let's just say i'm rather excited about Chapter 20 and demand that from you... BOY do you know have a lot of writing to do! :P HAHA - This chapter PERFECTO!
;) She's a clever woman, knows just how to work her man... just how he knows how to work her... ' Helen stood in the doorway, naked from head to toe. And dripping wet at that. Her hair was wavy from a shower, tucked behind her ears in messy strands. As his eyes drifted along her body, she smiled. Her skin was tan around the shoulders, the outline of a tank top pale against the bronze limbs. Modest, perky breasts were next, nipples erect from the cool room, and a lean, toned abdomen flexed and relaxed with each breath.' What man could resist? If Billy's longing for her... and that man is notoriously hard to please :P
' "Get over here." Billy growled, poised to lunge if needed. But she nibbled on a lip and slowly advanced.' Oh i so would. That voice demanding! SHIT. :D
Dear Lord. Have i mentioned how much i LOVE your smutty goodness... ' "Fuck." He whispered, tangling his fingers in her black hair. She took her time teasing, licking and kissing his hips with an open mouth, drifting her lips over the hard flesh of his shaft. "Helen." Billy'd had plenty of blowjobs in his life, but no one teased like she did.' NOW that is saying something. Love them together as always :)
OH I'm definitely excited about this plan... ' But, in the end, they'd come up with a solid plot, just before the sun peeked over the horizon. They parted with a tired agreement. And she'd driven home alone.' You do have a way of making me crave more - this story just keeps getting better and better (BROKEN RECORD...)
Very nice observation from right hand :D ' Sid knew she could compartmentalize, but even Helen wouldn't be able to withstand the emotion involved. She'd been afraid of relationships for far too long as a child; this had definitely put a dent in her Teflon feelings.' I do appreciate Sid as a character, you have built him to be her protector and I love it :D
' "I always thought of ya as a sister." Her face fell and he realized then how tired she was. The color of her cheeks was almost a grayish shade of white and bags had started to form under her eyes. She was younger than he, but in that moment, she looked much older. "You're my best friend, Sid." She whispered back, eyeing the arm he had tucked into his side. He fought the angry grimace on his face, closing his eyes for a moment.' I do enjoy the relationship between these two... I imagine them just how you portray...
I can't imagine what Joey must be feeling, pretty helpless i would imagine; this scene really moved me - i could really feel his pain ' But the guilt festering in his gut had finally imploded, poisoning him from within. Images of Danny's body on the bar and her face when she'd awoken, terrified and in pain, lashed out at him like tangible monsters, furious at him for even breathing when he'd allowed such atrocities to occur to the woman he loved. Now she wouldn't even talk to him. His face crumpled in pain and he smashed his cigarette into the ashtray, bringing his hands up to cover his eyes' Awesome writing my girl. I just want to wrap my arms around him! Like Now! :D
Awww Danny you are an amazing girl and Joey is lucky to have you ' "You said, 'It's alright. We're fine.'" It was the first time she had ever had to be strong for him. He was always her protector, her white knight. But it was that very thing that had brought him crashing down: he'd been unable to save her from a brutal attack. It was tearing him apart, as much as it was crippling her in fear. Seeing him this way, however, had snapped her back to focus. It wasn't just about her anymore. "We are fine." She repeated. "You and me."' The support she gives him even though she is the one who's broken... LOVE THEM! This story blows me away from every angle...
NOW THIS MADE ME SMILE: ' "You told me ya never wanted me killin' for ya." Joey suddenly ended the silence and broke her slumber. Groggily, she stirred and wrapped her arms around his chest, nuzzling closer in a silent response. "I'm killin' the fuck that hurt ya." He hissed quietly. Danny merely stroked his peck with a finger. "Good."' 1. Because this is a slight look into Joey becoming a real Darley - just like his big brother and 2. Because Joey angry is just too god damn goooood! I can only imagine how serious his facial expression was in that moment - meaning every word. Dear Lord.
Loved this chapter. Amazing. You need to update soon, i'm craving updates for all of your stories! Brilliant work - *HUGE HUGS* Love ya
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 18 . 1/2/2012
So I'm here... reviewing like i should have done when this chapter first found its way to my inbox. I can only apologise - times have been HECTIC! .God. I loved and as always this story has been craving more!
This beginning scene... had me hooked from word one ' With Sid at her back and a gun in her hand, she felt solid. Taking a breath of cold, evening air, Helen took a step. Her boot made very little sound on the cement. In the dark, she was a silent presence, agile and predatory. But she made each movement with caution, gripping the handgun in her palm. She didn't particularly like guns. They were loud and often inaccurate. And they ran out of ammo. Carrying a piece never made her feel as secure as a good blade. So she always carried those. One at her ankle, and one strapped under her right arm.' Helen is amazing. Just to affirm she is so strong minded and won't stand anything she doesn't want to! & Well any girl would be happy to have Sid at their back... ;)
HAHA ' "BURK!" They bolted against the wall, chests heaving with panicked breaths. Sid's bad arm reached out and his fingers brushed her elbow. Ripping her head around, Helen watched as he moved in front of her, effectively blocking her as he advanced towards the voice. With a frown, she shoved him back and passed. She was done being protected; he'd gotten shot once that day. The next bullet was for her.' Oh Sid always trying to be the hero but this time, girl's going first. :D
HOLY SHIT ' Bones Darley was a sitting duck.' No wonder Billy is on the move...
EW... ' "Didn't get enough Darley the first time, sweetheart?" Stepping closer, she snorted a laugh.' Lovely Bones, pleasure as always! BUT something tells me your not Helen's type... :P
What a prick... ' "Oh darlin', what I'd do to ya wouldn't be a dream." He bit his lower lip for a second, then leant back in his chair. Wrinkling her nose, Helen fought the visuals from her head. She'd seen what the man had done to Billy years ago. The split skin on Billy's face had always remained a mystery but she could guess who'd been to blame. Those scars didn't come easy and Bones didn't raise his hand often; but when he did, you paid dearly.' LOVED this girl, there is always so much mystery behind what had happened to Billy's face all those years ago and you keep that mystery :D
Enter Billy... a real big smirk on my face i might add... ' "Hell." Her stomach dropped and didn't bother looking; his voice was enough. "Put the gun down." Bones grinned and Helen slowly stood away, gun still pressed firmly into the man's forehead.'
BUT GUN TO SID's head... Low freaking blow! ;) ' Sid lifted his lip in a snarl and turned his head. With a quick jab, Billy hit him in the jaw with the gun, snapping Sid's head back around with a harsh jerk. Helen's limbs twitched as she watched her friend groan and slump his shoulders. Her instinct was to protect him, but her attention remained on Bones, her gun still firmly held on its target.'
Damn that woman's got some serious balls! Biting back like that ' "FUCK YOU!" She yelled back. Billy lashed out with a boot and hit the back of Sid's knee, sending him to the floor on his shins. When he fell, Sid reached for his injured arm and Billy pressed his gun to the top of the man's head.' I do admire how you write her - you can feel the anger burning between them, so freaking goooooood!
Oh Billy how i love you sooooo... ' "You should have shot 'er." Bones growled. Billy rolled his eyes and replaced his gun in the back of his jeans. He didn't know which bothered him more: putting a gun in Helen's face, or realizing he could never pull the trigger.' He may be a gang lord but the man does have a heart and i LOVE seeing it! :D
OH the intensity of this scene - Shit i'm surprised Bones let Billy live for that outburst ' "THEN WHAT, SON?" Bones roared in his face and Billy let his anger flow.
"SHE'S RIGHT!" The man shook with fury as his son yelled. But neither moved an inch. They stood face to face, glaring. Billy took a breath. "They're mowin' her men down and she's gettin' desperate." He swiped the back of his hand over his nose. "And today they took a shot at me and my guys." Bones studied him for a second, then dropped the gun from his hand to the desk.' Truly amazing chemistry!
:D and I'm back to the silent cheering... ' "No, what were you—" Without warning, Helen turned and lunged at him, grabbing handfuls of his jacket to pull him flush against her body. In the same heartbeat, she brought her lips to his, opening her mouth into a deep, consuming kiss. Billy forgot himself for a moment, his hands uselessly hung at his sides as she stunned him with her soft touch, warm tongue. But he remained still for only a second; his hands shot to her face, cupping her jaw. She moved away as if he'd slapped her.' Girl can control the man ;) Very handy! LOL
I loved that chapter, so much happening - so filled! I've said this before but your level of detail in your scenes is immense and i really do admire that. I love everything about this story babe - Helen and Billy's relationship is a tricky one but my god does it work - the hate, the love, the fire! WOO-FUCKING-WIE... can't wait to see what you have planned for this and guess what... i'm racing to the next chapter!
Brilliant stuff! *HUGS* Love ya
| xxCherieweexx chapter 19 . 12/19/2011
How dare you do this to me! That opening, Oh My God, and then...it was just a dream. It was so sweet I loved it and now I'm shattered haha this is why ur such a good writer, you keep the readers coming back for more! Ooh and thanks for the shoutout, love you too girl! Woohoo cant wait for my short but yeah take ur time no rush :) Ooh there better be a happy ending for Billy and Helen or I may cry. Serious kudos, you are amazing xoxox
| xxCherieweexx chapter 18 . 12/4/2011
Wow...just...wow! First of all hope ur okay, how did you break ur foot? Hopefully Billy related :) Second of all this may be my fav chap. I dunno why, having Bones in there, and Billy helping her out. Then all that stuff at the end with the two of them. Helen did actually act like a woman haha and I loved it. Man I love this story, its so realistic. I'm hoping for some serious action between them next chap hehe xoxox get well soon
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 17 . 11/22/2011
:O Oh my god. How can you leave the chapter ending like that? That is both mean my girl – oh and super genius, this chapter – like all of the previous ones WOW. Every word blew me away! I really do admire how you create your scenes, so real, raw and emotional. Love.
My first example is your first line ‘She rubbed her thumbs into her palm, massaging an ache that wasn't there.’ You use descriptions that we ourselves do when put in a different stressful and upsetting situation. ) Just awesome writing! Always keeping the reader in tune with the character – I love it.
:O ‘His chest was bare, his shirt ripped off when Doc had tended to his wound. Now, white tape and gauze encased his upper-right arm, covering half of the long, Celtic cross tattooed on his bicep.’ GOD DAMN YOU GIRL, you make him sound sooooo yummy and delicious! Even after being shot – mind is now working overtime! :D
‘She looked up at him as he opened his mouth to speak, but he abandoned the words and sighed. It was clear to him what she was feeling. The blood on her hands, the desperate escape…it was her stabbing all over again.’ THAT was very heart wrenching to read – she’s experiencing a feeling I assume she never wanted to EVER AGAIN! BOOM You nailed it babe – the angst, the emotion, everything!
I love the silent bond between these two, no matter what has happened in the past; she will always care about him – a love how strong she is BUT I also admire how you have sculpted her to show emotion so subtly for him. Amazing ‘What she really wanted to know is if Billy was hurt. If Billy was alive. It was silly how her mind flew to him immediately. Pictured him on a table, still and grey. The thought sent a shiver through her and Helen fought it away, waiting for an answer.’ :D :D :D
Hehe, grinning like an idiot ‘If Joe Darley was dead, Billy's wrath would be unquenchable. He would become a mad dog, ripping through every Russian in his path until they put him down. If they could put him down.’ We all know, anyone that threatens the younger Darley is just asking for a Death Sentence! Brilliant – I’m all tingly :P
HAHA And you brought in good OL’ Wallis! Annoying so and so! BUT BUT BUT I love how you did it, you had her character to a T – not threatened by the gang by whatever means! You portrayed her like I imagine her to be – like I want her to be!
Loved hers and Billy’s conversation, written so well – ‘"Come on, Billy." She spread her coat with her pocketed hands, literally opening herself up. "I'm bein' all kinds of nice." He smirked and took a drag, holding the smoke in his lungs for a moment.’ The chemistry, you could really feel it.
AWWW Joey, I really felt for him ( And Danny, man what a rough ride for that girl. I really enjoyed the hospital scene – understandably Danny’s father is going to be miffed at what had happened to her but on the same token, it isn’t Joey’s fault – if Joey could have been there, he would have been – he would have protected her!
‘ "I'm ending this." His pulse ran cold, but he kept his voice even. "You gonna tell me how ya plan on doin' that?" Helen took a long time to answer, leaving only the white noise of the background to tell Billy she hadn't hung up. A dog barked and a train screamed in the distance. He could hear her boots on gravel, her breath on the receiver. "What are ya doin, Hell?" "What I should have done weeks ago."’
And oh. My. God. You left it there… again meany! ) BUT I loved everything about this – pure brilliance and I hope very much you update soon! Cause I can’t wait long to read what you have planned! Oh my quoting you here, going to be a ‘doosey’! *HUGS***
Love ya loads girl
| xxCherieweexx chapter 17 . 11/16/2011
Ahhhhh how do you keep the tension up so much! God it just hits me with twists and turns i freaking love it! Puts my pansy Billy to shame haha it is so realistic of gang life, so harsh and violent then there is these lovely moments with joey and danny...oh update soon pllllllllease
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 16 . 10/23/2011
HUGE FUCK OFF SMILE – I LOVE YOU FOR UPDATING – THAT was worth the wait! :D LOVED every word girl!
HAHA That first scene – the Darley’s entering the bar! Just how I imagined them to be! And your description…how freaking funny! ‘The march of the living dead. That's what the group looked like as they stumbled into the Four Roses. It was a couple of hours past noon when Billy ordered all of the men out of his apartment. And the only cure for their pounding heads was morning beers and a dark hole. Sammy grinned at his favorite customers, watching them moan and groan their way to the bar. They didn't even make it to their booth.’ LOVE – as always! ;)
:D The conflicted Billy I love – brilliant stuff girl ‘Sucking slowly on his cigarette, Billy lapsed into silence, staring ahead but focusing on nothing. He hated thinking about their fight, because he had so much he wanted to say. So much he wished he could take back and rephrase. But pride told him he'd done the best thing for his men. It was his heart that didn't sit right. And that part of him held no standing, not with Helen.’ I love how on the outside he’s bad boy Billy Darley but on the inside he has feelings like everyone else in the world – his heart is not made of stone!
OH BILLY *SWOOON – SWOON AGAIN – Reminded me of that scene in the film where I just melt for the bad boy everytime!*** ‘"Ya got a problem with that?" He asked, addressing not only Joey but the rest of the crew. When no one spoke, he cracked his neck and plucked his beer from the counter. Downing the remaining half in one gulp, he brought it back down with a clunk, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth. "That's what I thought." The men turned back to their drinks and Sammy turned up the TV behind the bar, stirring up the quiet.’ Very nice scene – they know who’s running the show and that’s never going to change!
OH Joey, love you! ‘"May not be in the gang…" He glanced up, catching his brother's eye. "…but I'm family." Billy's face softened and he sat back in his stool.’ AND that is why I have a soft spot for the younger brother – the way you write him!
Seriously… ‘But the place suited Helen's purpose, and it was cheap. No one had asked questions when it was snapped up with cash and remained uninhabited. No one said a word when her men would come and go during the day. Helen Gates owned this block. Helen Gates did what she wanted.’ That woman is a queen and your writing expresses that in every single way! LOVE!
‘"Better fuckin' be fantastic for all the problems she'll end up causin'. That kid…" He barked a laugh and closed his eyes. "…He has one head, and it aint on his shoulders."’ OH I do love Sid and his sharp tongue – had me smirking like an idiot! The relationship between these two just blows me away – I admire it. I admire them sticking together!
:D I love how Helen expresses her power and is able to portray that to her followers so easily… Neil is fucking lucky! That woman with one word could have him killed – she’s just so kick ass and I really enjoy how you write her!
AND THEN THIS::: ‘The shattering sound of splintering metal exploded in their ears and Helen felt her laugh die in her lungs. Before she could register what had happened, a yell pierced the air and her body reacted, launching her inside the open car door.’ YOUR detail is amazing! And the action you build – well just brilliant! ) I was hanging onto every word…
JUST THE INTENSITY OF THIS SCENE – killed me! LOL ‘Her mind was flying. Gunshots. They were everywhere, pinging off the car and jolting the interior with each impact. The scream. Rolling over onto her stomach, she clawed her way to the door and wrenched her gun from the back of her jeans. With a quick bob of her head, she glanced out the window.’ JUST WOW.
Helen is bad ass and I love her – the way she reacts to situations! She’s where she is today because of the bravery she possesses ‘Neil's face was crumpled in pain and she felt a ripple of pity. It wasn't long ago that she'd been the one lying helpless. And she wasn't about to leave him exposed. Moving like lightning, she was on her feet, ducking as she ran to his side. The bullets whizzing by her head sounded like whispers and it could stop a weaker person in their tracks, freeze them in fear. But she didn't stop, sinking her fingers into Neil's canvas jacket and dragging him towards the front of his car, effectively blocking the path of incoming fire. He grabbed onto her forearms, gasping in agony and coughing blood onto his lips.’ OMG Girl’s got some serious skills! What an amazing scene! :O :O
‘"You good?" Sid asked. Only then did she lower the gun and hiss her breath through her teeth. "Yeah." She growled. Then Sid let out a low groan and Helen whirled. His hand was pressed to his shoulder, dark red oozing between his fingers. "Oh shit." She whispered, moving to his side and gently lifting his palm from the wound.’ NICE – LOVE Sid, the way he cares for her and makes sure she’s okay before… realising his own pain! PERFECT!
HOLY SHIT! They went to the Four Roses! HOLY CRAP :O :O :O That was my face! ‘Billy tugged on Joey's neck and threw him to the floor as the first shots chewed through the wooden bar. The rest of the men found the floor in a similar fashion, a few leaping over the counter, as Billy pinned his brother to the hardwood, ripping his .45 from the back of his jeans and blind firing behind him. Suddenly Bodie grabbed a handful of Billy's shirt and tugged. His yells were inaudible in the roaring room, gunshots blasting away all sound until all Billy could hear was the rasping of his own breaths. Dragging Joey along, the three scrambled around the corner into the poolroom, ducking behind the wall. Joey's chest heaved and his eyes were clamped closed as he slammed his back to the wall. Billy and Bodie, however, leant out into the open, firing towards the front door in an attempt to hit their attackers.’ WHAT A SCENE! YOU ARE AMAZING! WOW – Billy’s reaction to protecting Joe! LOVE! Bodie’s reaction to protecting Billy – LOVE!
FUCK girl, this chapter had it all going down and I freaking loved it – Poor Danny, I was like OH NO! ‘Atta followed her lead and the two girls bolted into the back. A blast rocked Danny to the bone, the wall in the hall pitting and splintering as bullets missed her by millimeters. Atta rounded into the office and disappeared from sight. There was an old revolver hidden in the desk and Danny felt a glimmer of relief. Maybe the thief would be deterred by their escape, grab a stereo or two and just leave them. But a pain shot through her scalp and she screamed, the moment of wishful thinking vanishing in a second. A hand tugged on her hair and pulled her head back in a swift jerk, cracking her bones like popping knuckles. He'd caught her.’ You seriously had me rushing to the end of the scene to make sure she was okay but… all I found was: ‘What she didn't expect was the fist that smashed into her face. The last thing she remembered was the floor and watching a pair of shoes closing in as the room grew dark.’ DUDE! LONG Quote I again I know but you are spoiling me with this! Poor girl! Joe is going to be pissed!
‘Seeing his brother that way broke something deep inside him, and he didn't care who he had to get to, someone was going to pay. Atta trembled, clutching Sammy's chest and crying into his t-shirt.’ HEHE OH you are going to be sorry! Not only will Joe be after you BUT Billy’s coming to! Your fucked…
JUST :O :O :O Amazing, pure Brilliance! And NO you can’t just leave it there – you have to update soon! *HUGS* Love ya loads girl