|Reviews for Harry Potter: Duke of Gryffindor|
| abraxas01 chapter 2 . 1/15
You seem to be writing everything in present tense, even things that took place in the past. Also, generally, a story is written in past tense. You are telling of events in the past, not narrating events as they go.
| firedawg chapter 25 . 1/5
Great story , hated to see Al killed off as he is quite a character. Dumbledore and the two younger Weasleys are a surprise. Enjoying your story and look forward to more. Well done.
| Yep chapter 8 . 12/7/2015
You definitely need a beta reader... "and there is also an annual shooting competition every six months" Annual means once a year, every six months means twice a year. Which is it?
| gaschalk chapter 11 . 12/4/2015
You are mixing up the "in" and "on" in some of your chapters. How can you have a wine bottle in the table when it should have been on the table. Good story and on the most part well spelled also.
| OllyOllyOxycodone chapter 6 . 10/14/2015
Guns in a Harry Potter story instant dislike.
| ImmortalAngel92 chapter 4 . 9/10/2015
If Germany is 'not too keen when it come to underage magic' then why would they go there? I mean you just said that they don't like underage magic. Them no being too keen on underage magic laws or they don't mind underage magic or other things along those lines would make mush more sense.
| ImmortalAngel92 chapter 3 . 9/10/2015
You really need to edit this. You keep changing tenses and the writing keeps getting confused. You keep going from narration to commentary and repeating yourself several times over.
The talk about Potions professors and such are pointless as is the bit about the blanket.
Also Ginny would never have been able to be a kindhearted, smart girl who knew they were poor when she was younger before changing to what she is now. She's only 13-14, she would have to be between 8-10 when she was reeducated because any younger and she wouldn't notice about the money since she was the youngest and only girl.
| Ada1229 chapter 4 . 8/24/2015
lol with 2 hundred million gallions he could probablly buy the whole of Diagon alley and Hogsmede and still not be broke
| StoryReigns96 chapter 17 . 6/23/2015
I'd say that this story is full of cliches but after reading some of the comments it would be ironic.
| kyoshi711 chapter 9 . 6/8/2015
The defence didn't mention half of what could have been said. Eample Dudley is his cousin and lives with him and no witnesses were called.
| thonez chapter 10 . 5/4/2015
Meh, tedious story. Its one of Harry Naruto Potter fics. With what Harry has he could easily defeat Voldemort, now without horcruxes.
Poor story, it has worst cliches. Soul-bound marriage that destroys horcruxes early. That pretty much closes romantic development. Weasley stealing and all Harry needs to do is visit Gringotts at start of story. Pathetic as it conflicts cannot. One steals because he is jealous of possessions. If they were really stealing then Ron would dress only in arachnomula silk with tale about inheriting from Nigerian prince.
Rest of story is spend with useless training we likely wont see that in action. I wish that you stopped torturing us with this story. Harry would take his 700 men minigun army and just shoot Dumbledore and Voldemort.
| Jazmyine chapter 1 . 4/20/2015
What a wonderful start. Inside I am jumping up and down, doing a body wave and giving you a big thumbs up! Externally, I am vegging on some pretzels and stopping this review so I can read the next chapter...
| redfox-9 chapter 2 . 2/5/2015
Great story so far! Ok I'm only at the second chapter, but well, I really like it.
However if I can make a suggestion... there are some mistakes with the verb tenses (you pass from past to present where there should be only past). It's a little distracting for reading fluently the story because I mentally correct them every time. So I think your story would become even better if you re-read it and correct them or ask a beta to do it.
| doubledamn chapter 25 . 2/3/2015
I know that Al wanted to die there, but I can't help but ask - if the Killing Curse was stored in gem in the hilt, why didn't they just remove the hilt?
| doubledamn chapter 24 . 2/3/2015
Can the Patronus charm be tweaked to require a a different emotion? Rage, for instance, would probably affect more than just demntors.