Reviews for Harry Potter: Duke of Gryffindor |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Alvin York? REALLY? Don't tell me; he was a Sergeant, right? Good start; I'm gonna keep on reading... |
![]() ![]() ![]() This end battle scene is confusing to me. It is super late as I read it, but I don't understand why Dumbledore did any of it! Dumbledore planned to attack the school? For what reason? And Voldemort should have been attacking at the same time? So two dark wizards against school children? It doesn't make any sense. Dumbledore needed Harry to fulfill the prophecy. He wouldn't go on a full scale attack with Voldemort in the picture. Nor would he go into war. He needs to be the Leader of the Light to get control over the Wizarding world. He is a planner. This isn't his style at all. It is too brash after so many years of planning. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm really not happy with the direction that you went with Al's backstory. He is really not a good person and has shown himself disloyal and untrustworthy several times now. I really don't trust him, but I want to. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Happy 1,000 reviews! Malfoy and Snape are quite dumb aren't they? |
![]() ![]() ![]() At least the castle has enough sense to throw out Umbridge. I would have thought Snape would have been thrown out years ago if the castle was capable of such things. |
![]() ![]() ![]() So is Umbridge going to stay a toad now? I think it would be fitting! |
![]() ![]() ![]() This story is interesting, but your use of tense can be confusing and awkward. Like in their declaration, they use "would". "I would grow old with you." It doesn't make sense. They should say, "I will grow old with you." I guess I should check your profile to see if English is a second language. If it is a second language you have my respect for writing in it! |
![]() ![]() ![]() A much better trial and I hope that Arthur can be helped. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Sirius' Slitherin side is showing here! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I enjoy a story with a strong Sirius and Remus who act like adults instead of misunderstood teens! A great start to a story! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I have a little thing to point out. It seems like you are sometimes confused about using him/her, his/hers? Though not a major 'problem' it does get kind of confusing for the reader as well. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I thought Tonks had a bullet in her leg and in her gut, but when she gets to the manor you only really talk about her leg? Also, didn't Remus get shot too? He was ignoring the pain, but he still got shot and hasn't received any treatment. Will that be happening? Since the story is already completed, I'll just keep reading and find out. |
![]() ![]() "He is a pureblood, why would he lower himself and serve with a half-blood bastard?" LMAO as are your followers mouldyshorts |
![]() ![]() ![]() Too bad the original never came to pass. |
![]() ![]() Ya, but JKR couldn't have Harry rescued by people who'd actually care for him. No, JkR could only heap more and more shit on Harry as the years went by. If Harry had the brains of a Flubberworm at the very latest, he'd have emptied his trust vault, asked about his family from the Goblins, transferred the Potter family vaults outside the country to one where Good Ole Fumblemort was at the very least hated and told the Ministry of/for Morons right along with Good Ole Fumblemort to kiss his ass as he left their magical world forever. If, as the masses believe Good Ole Fumblemort is the most powerful wizard alive let him deal with Vulturewurst. After all, not all prophecies are fulfilled. Many sit in the DOM gathering dust for centuries without being fulfilled. So, let the Great Meddler solve his own problem. |