|Reviews for Be Careful What You Wish For|
| IcyWaters chapter 12 . 2/26/2012
Yikes, I never expected so much action in the final chapter! I was expecting a nice, calm conversation at the Briggs’ home followed by a few scenes of the group happy to be back in 1967. Sort of a happily ever after thing. :-) Tad’s escape and Laila’s connection to Kato’s past caught me by surprise.
Overall, it was a highly satisfying conclusion. The only real lingering question I have is who designed and built the time traveling remote? My first instinct is Laila’s family was behind it as a way to avenge her grandmother’s death. But the more I ponder it, the more I realize that I don’t really care how it came into existence...life is full of mysteries. :-)
It was a delight having Dr. Hannah Thomas back for a brief mention. A part of me is hoping she might make another appearance in the sequel, but that would mean someone needs medical help again. So maybe it would be for the best if she didn’t appear. ;-)
LOL, the Pinkston Stamp Company! I can’t believe you worked that in, but I’m so glad you did. I’m looking forward to the sequel!
| IcyWaters chapter 11 . 2/26/2012
Ooh, now I feel ultra guilty for not reviewing sooner. Thank you for the dedication. :-)
Tad sure is one slimy creep. He wanted fear and respect from the masked men, yet acted like a total prick in their presence. A part of me really wanted to see Kato teach him a lesson.
I’d love to know what was running though Thomas Briggs’ head as Emma started spouting off about time travel, living in 1967, being kidnapped – and rescued – by the notorious Green Hornet, and falling in love with Kato. He must have thought his daughter was downright crazy, lol.
Hmm, Britt has the remote, but does anyone know how to use it? Since there’s only one more chapter to tie up the loose ends, I think it’s safe to assume it wasn’t broken when it hit the ground! I know you were eager to bring the story to a close, but you could have worked in a little more drama around that drop. :-)
| IcyWaters chapter 10 . 2/26/2012
I offer you my sincerest apologies for not reviewing sooner. Life turned hectic as it has a bad habit of doing and fan fiction got pushed aside for awhile. I’ve spent a fair chunk of the evening catching up with this story from the start...and there’s one thing I have to mention – it sure is fun! :-)
Since all the events were fresh in my mind as I started this chapter, I didn’t need the quick refresher, but it’s a nice touch for your readers. The part where the Hornet confronted the commissioner in his own building was terrific – just like the infamous criminal. Another favorite moment is when Frank Axford encountered the GH and Briggs, and Britt thought it was Mike at first. It looks like the son learned from his father’s mistakes – I couldn’t believe when he unmasked the Hornet!
As a fan of Batman and Superman, too, I enjoyed the visiting detectives. :-)
There is one rather awkward sentence that threw me: “Just to be sure of that, he'd use the gas gun before left and spray it under the door to knock that Gotham City detective out.” You may want to go back and edit it a bit. I’m off to the next chapter...
| IcyWaters chapter 9 . 7/8/2011
“And on top of all this, some talk show host wants an interview with Bruce and I. He finds it 'creepy' that we're engaged.”
Hmm, that wasn’t a little dig at me, was it? :-) Nope, it can’t be because I’m of the ‘she’ persuasion. ;-) Even if you were having pronoun trouble, well, keep dishing them out because I can take it. I have a good sense of humor – or at least I like to think I do… :-)
Getting back on topic, I really enjoyed the scene between Brittany and Frank. They definitely create a sense of déjà vu. It’s fun how the characters named their children after their friends, but Mike having a son named Frank caught me a bit off guard. They never interacted much on the show and I imaged they’d probably butt heads more than Britt and Mike. After all, Frank Scanlon continually failed to capture the Hornet. :-)
I’m glad Kato and Britt finally found Emma. The nuns were amusing, especially the part about being the first convent with a slogan. :-) I'm looking forward to the big confrontation. Oh, and the crossroads were cute. Thanks for the Zorro mention. :-)
| IcyWaters chapter 8 . 7/2/2011
The part with Britt and Kato discovering the Seth Rogen movie was hilarious. :-) I also like how you continue to illustrate the differences between the two times. One part that I’m not quite clear on – are they cruising around 2011 and going into stores wearing the masks?
I’ll be honest – this wasn’t my favorite chapter. To start with, I found it too far fetched the cab driver knew so many details about the Reid family…it was just too convenient and therefore far-fetched (yep, and I do remember this is a story about time travel). I’m also having a difficult time keeping all the family relationships straight. I feel like I need to map them out on a sheet of paper. ;-)
For example, the cabbie with the inside scoop says that Brittany, Britt and Casey’s daughter, is dating Kato’s son, Bruce. In a later scene, the two (obviously close-knit) families are all together and referring to each other as cousin, aunt, uncle, etc. It is way too creepy, IMO, that Brittany and Bruce are supposedly dating, yet refer to one another as cousins.
On the pro side, I enjoyed the scenes with Emma’s parents and her escape from her abductors. The conclusion to that scene was just so absurd, like something out of a cartoon:
I skidded into the hallway the moment Alejandro exited the bathroom. For a long minute the large goon stared at me; thankfully, he hadn't been standing in line when God gave out brains. "Tad's in trouble! Kyle's trying to beat him up!" I shouted and the man must have believed me (and he obviously had forgotten who I am), he turned and ran into the bedroom.
But, wow, I sure did get a good laugh! :-)
| IcyWaters chapter 7 . 7/2/2011
I offer you my humblest apologies for not reviewing sooner, but I’m getting caught up on my reading now. :-) I was thrilled to see Scanlon finally getting involved in this adventure and it was a delight seeing him stand in for the Hornet. It’s a shame we never got to see him in the mask, coat and fedora on the show. :-)
There were some great bits of dialogue, especially in the scenes with Frank. I loved Britt’s wry observation: “Only, you'll be having something no other Hornet has had.” (snip) "You'll have Kato and the real Black Beauty." – Very nice!
Mike’s continuing anger toward the Green Hornet and Kato was nicely played (the bit with the wanted posters was a hoot). I’d be disappointed if he wasn’t still holding a grudge against the masked criminals for shooing Britt. I liked the part where Frank points out: "He's going to have to tell that man the truth one day," Scanlon frowned. "Axford could kill him if he doesn't."
For the first time in this story, I’m curious if Mike will learn the truth. I’m really surprised there aren’t more GH fics with that theme. The dynamic between Britt/Mike and the Hornet/Mike has such intriguing possibilities. The possibility of the secret being revealed is delicious! I'm a sucker for secret identities in jeopardy.
Yes, I know this is a story about time traveling, but the later part sort of caught me off guard. My analytical mind keeps trying to process the intricacies of how these characters exist in two different times and that whole space time continuum, ala “Back to the Future.” :-)
But don’t worry; I’m still very much enjoying the story. :-) Jus to let you know, I did notice a few typos, such as heroine/heroin and “Kato threw her arms over his face” (should he “Kato threw his arms over his face”). I’m off to the next chapter.
| IcyWaters chapter 6 . 6/16/2011
"Doctor, there's something you should know about me: I don't have to do anything I don't want too."
Awesome line! So very, very the Green Hornet. :-)
It was a nice treat to see Dr. Hannah Thomas make an appearance. It’s fun when previous characters pop up again. “The Secret of the Sally Bell” was a great episode and I’m glad to see you paying tribute to it. One aspect I’m really enjoying in this story is how you never let up with the Hornet’s menacing edge. He is every bit the gentleman when around the women, but they still fear him. :-)
It would be easy to allow his carefully crafted image to slip a little, letting them see a softer side, but you never do that. A good example is where the Hornet threatens Emma with that terrific line I quoted above, instead of explaining to her why she needs to remain under his watch. For that, I am truly grateful. You have an excellent grasp of the characters.
The clash between Britt and Mike was loads of fun. I could easily visualize them going at it, with the ace reporter wanting to turn over every rock in the city to find Emma. I do like that Mike wasn’t prepared to see the Hornet or Kato dead. He wants justice, not to take the law into his own hands. Hmm, though that is a bit of a contradiction to “Bad Bet on a 459- Silent” where he was shooting at the masked menace. Maybe he just meant to slow him down? :-)
“You must keep your eyes open, the love of your life may find you, or you may find her or, in some cases, she may be delivered to you in a strange way.” – It’s nice to learn Kato’s grandmother was as wise as his grandfather. :-)
As always, I’m looking forward to the next update. And thank you for the dedication. :-)
| IcyWaters chapter 5 . 6/7/2011
“It is the flaws that perfect us by making us learn the skills we lack as we travel the long path of life, his grandfather always said.”
That is a wonderful line! Very insightful. Kato’s grandfather was a very wise man. :-) The pieces of the puzzle are falling into place and we’re starting to see how all the players fit into the plot. I always love getting to witness the Green Hornet and Kato in action (you can never have too much of that!), so it was delightful having them staking out the bank.
I’m also savoring the camaraderie between the two partners. Britt’s concern for Kato was touching and I loved when Kato referred to the Green Hornet as his brother. Perfect. :-)
The Hornet kidnapping Emma from the Sentinel – and right in front of Mike – was brilliant. It definitely preserves his notorious criminal image while keeping the ace reporter fuming. I’m glad Mike had the opportunity to praise Emma before they were rudely interrupted! It’s going to be interesting the next time he runs into the Hornet…
I feel so bad for Kato, but on the plus side, we finally got the history between him and Mulan – and what happened to Britt. I really enjoyed the tale, but this is also where my one nitpick comes in. Tad poisoned Kato and said the effects will wear off in 24 hours. What reason does the Hornet have to trust him? I sure wouldn’t want to trust my friend’s life on the word of the criminal who poisoned him.
Getting back to the history of Mulan…Kato caring for the injured Britt wouldn’t happen to be at tribute to the Lone Ranger and Tonto, would it? :-)
| IcyWaters chapter 4 . 6/5/2011
You have a lot of different threads developing: There’s the ‘accidental’ death at Rothmore’s Gentlemen’s Club that Mike and Emma are investigating, the mortgage scam the Green Hornet is looking into and the time traveling crooks… It’s going to be interesting to see how they are all tied together!
My favorite part of this chapter is definitely the continuing collaboration between Mike and Emma. They really do work well together. :-) I was proud that Mike stood up for her, even though he eventually had to cave into Jonathan’s demands. I sense Mike didn’t truly want to leave Emma behind.
The touches of discrimination Emma can’t escape as a working woman in the 1960s is also a nice touch and adds to the contrast between the two time periods. I’m glad you haven’t diminished that aspect.
Getting to witness Emma’s sharp eye in action was a treat. I loved how she was the one who spotted the watch in the chandelier, putting haughty Jonathan to shame. Her quick thinking gain access to the ledger was fantastic. Mike will be proud! :-)
I’m not usually big on romance fics, but once again, you’re proving to be the exception. :-) Kato certainly deserves some lovin’ and I like Britt and Casey together, so the party was loads of fun. I’m glad Emma didn’t recognize Kato…yet. :-) Ah, our favorite chauffer/bodyguard will likely face some embarrassing moments later on…
I’ve got to ask you about Mulan Lee – Is she an original creation or are you borrowing a storyline from the comics? She’s not a character from the TV series, and my instinct tells me she’s a tribute to the GH fandom (Kato’s daughter Mulan in the comics and, of course, Bruce Lee).
If she is an original creation, that back story is screaming to be told! I’d love to know exactly how Britt was injured and how Mulan manipulated Kato. Any chance I can talk you into writing that story? :-)
| IcyWaters chapter 3 . 6/3/2011
So, Emma doesn’t like Elvis, eh? I guess everyone has their quirks. :-)
The opening scene where the Hornet confronts Emma and learns about the future of computers was great. You handled the balance between menacing crime lord and gentleman very well. The mystery of how the Hornet knows so much about the inner workings of the Sentinel was a nice touch, too.
I’m curious if Emma will learn their real identities; and if so, what will happen when she returns to her time. Will she seek out Britt, Kato and Casey? All three had better be alive and healthy! If not, I’ll have to track you down and force you to rewrite it. :-)
The part where Kyle called the Hornet ‘homey’ and our masked man took offense was hilarious! I love the clashes that keep popping up between the two time periods. :-)
I’m looking forward to the party!
| IcyWaters chapter 2 . 6/3/2011
"What is it?" Britt asked.
"Mike Axford," Kato replied staring down the street at the dark red car.
The Hornet frowned, "Well, we always have the gas gun."
I love that exchange, but poor Mike. Hmm, I sure hope the Hornet gas doesn’t have any long term side effects. Our tenacious reporter sure does get more than his fair share of it. :-)
This chapter was loads of fun. As Mangafan14 wrote, your style is very easy to read. I admire the breezy tone and how the story is laced with humor. It was wonderful getting a glimpse of Casey’s curious nature when she went to investigate the mysterious beep. She deserves to get in on the action, too. :-)
The interaction between Mike and Emma is very delightful. You are doing a great job capturing the awkward relationship between our favorite old newshound and his rookie photographer. Mike will never admit it, but he’s got a bit of a soft spot for Emma, doesn’t he? As much as he wants to snare the Hornet, he is equally determined that she is not harmed. He’s sweet. :-)
Now that Emma’s in the Hornet’s lair, I can’t wait to see what happens next. She, Britt and Kato are all going to have their hands full! :-)
I do have two questions – When Emma was in the art studio, Teresa had a framed photo of her daughter, Madeline, on the counter. Madeline is Emma’s mother; therefore Teresa must be Emma’s grandmother. There should have been a much bigger reaction from Emma! She was meeting her grandmother as a younger woman, getting to see a new side of her. :-)
Also, you wrote: “Mom never told me she painted or that Mike Axford was her uncle. I wonder why she never paints around me.” A few sentences later, Emma was surprised to learn Teresa was Mike’s sister. Perhaps I misinterpreted something, but it was never stated they were siblings…
I don’t mean to be nitpicky, but the family relationships here have me a bit confused. :-)
Ah, and one more nitpick (please forgive me!) – If the Green Hornet returns Mike to his apartment, won’t the bank manager realize the Hornet didn’t kill him? I’m off to the next chapter.
| Mangafan14 chapter 3 . 6/2/2011
thanks for the update!
| Mangafan14 chapter 1 . 5/31/2011
PLEASE KEEP THIS FIC GOING I'M SOOOOO HOOKED! i love it so much!
your writing style is easy to follow yet enjoyable, the characters persona's are quite developed for the first chapter, so far they have stayed in character and in general great job for the first chap.
keep up the good work!
| IcyWaters chapter 1 . 5/31/2011
It’s nice discovering new authors writing for the old Green Hornet TV series. :-)
I’ll be honest…your summary had everything that usually has me running from a story: a female OC, said OC falling in love with an established hero and time travel. Since there are so few stories about the show, my weakness for the GH had me clicking on the link – and I’m glad I did. :-) I was pleasantly surprised.
First off, I like the premise you created where the Green Hornet is a real person who made the headlines in the 1960s and 1970s, with his notoriety spawning comic books and movies. It’s a clever way to join the various incarnations of the character. Oh, I’m also a woman disliked the female Kato of the comics. :-)
Second, I actually like Emma. :-) She’s not too cute, too plucky or too “in your face,” if that makes any sense. :-) It’s great how she was afraid of the Hornet and Kato when she finally met them, even though she idolizes them…especially Kato. I’m also thrilled (and relieved) Emma is not a butt kicking woman who can singlehandedly take out our heroes.
On the topic of Emma having the hots for Kato, I do hope she doesn’t figure out their true identities too easily!
The little twist of the Hornet being the one who led to Emma’s parents meeting was a nice touch without being cloying. It gave a legitimate reason for her being so enthralled with this masked criminal when others have lost interest over the years.
Third, I like the way you’ve handled the time travel concept so far. The difference between the two time periods is not as drastic as other stories; the clothes aren’t drastically different, everyone speaks the same language and there’s not much technology shock. Her reactions to the situation are believable. I am a bit surprised Britt, Kato and Casey are so blasé about it, but that’s a minor point to me.
If I may offer you some advice, keep an eye out for typos and such. A good beta reader (they are worth their weight in gold!) would easily spot them. For example, you wrote: “Must be home made, if it wasn't Casey would already have work them to work.” That first instance of ‘work’ should be ‘worn’.
Keep an eye out for repeated thoughts: There’s a paragraph where Emma notes that Rosie is a few inches shorter than her, while in the next sentence, Emma notes she is an inch or two taller than Rosie. There’s no need to mention it twice. These are those pesky things that it’s hard to see in our own writing. :-)
Oh, and it’s Mike Axford, not Mike Axeford…who you also mistakenly referred to as Mike Axe once. ;-)
Please don’t take these suggestions negatively. I’m really enjoying this story and am looking forward to the next update!