|Reviews for Night Market|
| Pie Rat chapter 3 . 4/28/2012
"Ah, well. I suppose it was rather sensitive of me. You are a quiet fellow, after all, and I should not force so much conversation upon you. But - to be reasonable - I am a very talkative fellow, and you should try harder to accommodate me in turn, no?"
Sten considered the compromise.
This cracked me up completely! So did most of Sten and Zevran's interactions throughout the story. I thought the ending was kind of rushed (no offence) but it was really great overall. Maybe part of the problem is that there isn't a line break or anything between the line where Sten wants to wash his hands, and the cut to 'They worked it out like this'?
Regardless, this was a very fun read.
| Flaminea chapter 3 . 6/7/2011
I've seen your comment so I paid a visit to the story of yours that I could appreciate more.
First, you described and "painted" Zevran very well.
Secondly, I like this "bond" between the Warden and Sten.
But first of all I'm curious, I wanna know what was that "darkness"!
| The Funny Idiot chapter 3 . 6/3/2011
*Puts on Professor Voice*
I like this story. You have a proper use of words, and make sense. There are periods and appropriate punctuation. Whereas some writers simply throw their words onto a page, you, here, have done something that is much more coherent and sense-making.
*Takes off Professor Voice*
HOMG ZEVRAN~! Zevran! Antivan Porn! Zevran and Antivan Porn in a Night Market where they sell Antivan porn and Zevran reads it and I'm all like 'lawl' and he's all like 'go away' but I won't because YAY ADVENTURE! And the Warden is all 'oh noes, hypnotizm!1!' and then Sten is like 'no' because it doesn't work on him because he is Sten and immune to BS and YAY! I love adventures.
I am glad that no one kissed, also. Sometimes I like the kissing but it is my professional opinion that it would be kind of weird here. Who would even kiss who? Zevran and Mahariel? Bleh. No thank you, sir. Zevran and Sten? Weird. Mahariel and Sten?
...Might be kind of hot, actually.
But no, no, that would break up the band. Plus it would probably also break Alistair's clearly pining heart. Look at him pining over there in the beginning. Poor guy. Pining like a Pine Tree.
I liked it, is what I am saying here.
| Eluvian chapter 3 . 6/3/2011
I'll confess, I'm not 100% on what's supposed to be going on here. The magic doesn't really line up with most of the stuff we see in the actual gameplay, although I like it. I'm just not sure if it's very Dragon Age...y... if that makes sense? What was that dark mirror? What exactly were they seeing in the shop? If you explained it all then I missed that part. If there's more and the explanation is coming later, then forgive me.
Your Zevran voice also isn't quite as good as your other voices. It's not bad, mind you, it's just something to consider working on. The structure is fine, but he seems to lack some of his, um... I can't even think of the word for it. So it's probably not a fair critique, is it? I've definitely seen worse Zevrans, and this one isn't that, in fact it's very good, but it's not quite RIGHT and that's probably why I noticed it. Because it's good but it's not perfect.
Stuff I liked:
"And you, my stoic friend?" Zevran turned to face him, "Do you feel closer to Seheron now that we are here?"
"Do not ask such pointless questions. We ARE closer to Seheron."
That part was just perfect. Perfect comedy beat, perfect dialogue for the both of them, just like BAM! And there we go. Sten and Zevran. (Did I mention that that's a really odd pair to go along with? But awesome.)
"You are in quite the mood! I think I like it when you are feisty!"
"Your levity offends me."
And then you did it again!
"We cannot help them, Kadan," He said, "They are giant spiders."
Oh that was fantastic! That line made the whole rest of the story worth reading! Oh Sten. You and your dry deliveries, you make my day.
I think I like this one more than the one with Nathaniel and Anders, but I'm not sure. It's a close call.
Keep it up, hon!
| Sharbien chapter 1 . 5/31/2011
Title drop! :D I love Zevran. And Sten. And Zev and Sten harassing one another. And Mahariel. But mostly Zevran.