|Reviews for He Promised|
| vss chapter 1 . 10/5/2012
Very heartbreaking, and I think it's at least drabble length, if not one shot length (and you are totally right about there not being enough May fics, her story really gripped me when I read it). I love how she has this other voice, and how she notices that things are off but just dismisses them, I thought that was very introspective and in character for her. The writing here isn't bad at all, it is short (which I usually don't prefer, because I like longer stories), but the length works for how you've told it. The pacing is good, the story doesn't seem rushed or forced, there is character developement and details that flow naturally and don't sound off or wooden. The transitions are good, the grey bar helps with the scene changes, and you don't have to comment or tell the audience that this is a different scene or a different time. There were also no glaring grammatical errors that I could pick up on (I'm no good at CC, I just like to read good writting ) ).
| The Ghost Writers chapter 1 . 5/2/2012
Your fic has come into the attention of the Ghost Writers, due to its excellent quality.
This is a very poignant fic. As you said yourself, there aren't many May Castellan fics out there, which is a real shame. Here you capture the sadness of her situation very well: you present it in a way that the reader can empathize with, but you don't go overboard with the angst.
The repetition of Luke's promise makes it all the sadder. It's particularly interesting the way you have May still retaining a small amount of sanity, deep beneath her pain. Overall, this is a great rendering of May's terrible predicament.
For the above reasons, your story has been added to The Ghost Writers Community - The Fame Magnets. It has also been given the status of "Ghost Writers Approved", something given only to truly great stories. We would be honoured if you were to insert "Ghost Writers Approved" into the summary of your story.
For more information, visit our forum:
forum . fanfiction forum/Ghost_Writers/105367/
Congratulations, and keep writing!
| ghettos chapter 1 . 10/9/2011
This is very sad, and a vast improvement, if I may say so ;)
I liked this. T'was very heartbreaking, though the phrasing was rather awkward at certain points, especially at the parts where May actually speaks aloud. Sentences were a tad choppy, but otherwise it was a very pleasant read. Great job, Wis :D
| DJ Discord chapter 1 . 10/1/2011
It made me cry inside,I love it.
Going on my favorites.
| shingaling chapter 1 . 7/14/2011
At the end, I find the 'poor' before May Castellan out of place. All in all, this is good. ;)
| SydneyLouWho chapter 1 . 6/24/2011
This made me cry... really good though:)
| HAWTgeek chapter 1 . 5/31/2011
AWWWW! THAT WAS SOO SWEET! I loved it. Hope u don't mind, but I think i'll write one of these.
Okay, I think I meantioned it but here I go again.
I think that oughta cover it.
| starglow13 chapter 1 . 5/31/2011
I really liked it! It was kinda sad that she didn't know about Luke, but still good!
| Reading-and-Bubbling chapter 1 . 5/31/2011
Your writing is wonderful. Heart breaking, softening, and warming. It was really lovely. I think you got it just right.
There were no mistakes, but the part with Hermes seemed a bit out-of-it. I see your point, but...
Anyways! I love it.
Would you consider entering a contest?
| Starfan1245 chapter 1 . 5/31/2011
Aww... This was so sad and cute :) Poor May Castellan, waiting for a son that would never return :(
Very nice job! Loved it :)