Reviews for Fate Interrupted
Click57 chapter 10 . 4/14
Beautiful, sweet story!
JK5959 chapter 3 . 2/20
Is it wrong that I’m upset Edward wasn’t a virgin too? Lol
JK5959 chapter 1 . 2/17
Oh man, this was so good. I really enjoyed this completely different and fun take on their love story.
Just Sus chapter 10 . 1/4
I don't know how I never read this story before! I loved this different twist on EB...very emotional and sweet. Loved the twist on Aro, too. So happy he was booted out of the Voltui! Thank you, as always, for sharing this story! Loved it!
AuroraAstera chapter 1 . 12/4/2021
I really like how this starts. There were a few details I noticed that bothered me a lot, and I wanted to properly explain why so that it would work as constructive criticism rather than pointless flaming. I hope I don't offend you in any way.

First of all, Edward left and returned to Carlisle and Esme years before Rosalie was turned. He didn't just think he knew better than Carlisle and wanted to live according to his own rules, he also wanted to get away from Carlisle and Esme's newfound love and happiness that he envied. It would have been hard for him to be around their constant displays of affection and joy when he was so miserable hating his existence, especially since he could hear their thoughts all the time without reprieve that often were about their concerns for his own state of unhappiness. He probably wanted to give them space to explore their new relationship too.

Also, Jane is ancient, from like 800 A.D. or something. Her power to create the illusion of pain in her targets comes from being saved by Aro from a burning pyre after being accused of witchcraft alongside her younger twin brother, Alec, who can induce complete sensory depravation. This is extremely important because, without Jane and Alec, the Volturi would never have been able to become so powerful or maintain their role as rulers of the vampire world. It makes zero sense to change that detail by having Edward discover Jane in the 20th century. It also makes no sense why Edward should be the one collecting talented vampires, to begin with, since he's not like Eleazar who could sense a vampire's gift. I can't imagine why Aro wouldn't want to keep Edward close by or send him on specific information-gathering missions since Edward's gift is only to read the current thoughts running through someone's mind.

Next, Heidi was also really old, like from the 1500s, and was originally in the same coven as Victoria, although she went by a different name back then. Aro personally collected Heidi and killed her entire coven, except Victoria who escaped, under the false accusation of them attracting too much attention due to having so many coven members. She was a very important member of the Volturi who organized the coven's feedings without attracting attention from the human world. It also makes no sense for her to only be discovered by Edward in the 20th century because the Volturi relied on her so much to keep them fed without alerting humans to their presence in Volterra and existence in general. They wouldn't have stayed hidden so well without her skills.

Then there's Renata, Aro's personal guard. She's supposed to be around 800 years old and has been a key player in helping Aro maintain his power by ensuring his safety throughout the majority of his reign. Without Renata, as well as Jane and Alec, the Volturi would never have become so powerful or untouchable. Having Edward find her in the 20th century again makes no sense because the Volturi wouldn't be the powerhouse it is unless Jane, Alec, Renata, and Heidi had been around for centuries.

As for James and Victoria, they would never have agreed to join the Volturi. They lived as nomads together for centuries in canon and never joined them despite knowing of their existence because they preferred a nomadic lifestyle. Not to mention, Victoria's power for enhanced self-preservation is not something Aro would be interested in since it doesn't make the Volturi more powerful or benefit anyone but herself. I'm sure he'd accept her anyway, but she would never leave James. Undoubtedly, James is not the type to follow rules or submit to anyone, so he would never want to join a coven where he was not the leader. Plus, James may be a tracker, but his gift pales in comparison to Demetri's tracking ability, which would make him a fairly pointless addition to the guard that Aro wouldn't really be interested in either.

The idea of Edward's mindreading powers being the key to finding and obtaining such incredibly powerful vampires really doesn't make any sense. I understand why you tried to use it so that Edward would have proved himself trustworthy enough to Aro and loyal to the Volturi, but there would be no Volturi at all without the historical backgrounds of those characters staying mostly true to canon. These changes present major plotholes in your story that ultimately weaken it. Maybe you wrote this story before all the Twilight character histories were published, but I feel like at least when it comes to Jane, Alec, and Renata, it should have been obvious that the Volturi would never have risen to power without them, making it illogical to rework their entry into the Volturi ranks so that it happens in the 20th century. Jane and Alec especially are the Volturi's most powerful offensive weapons. Without them, the Volturi would never have become so powerful and likely would have been overthrown centuries ago. Renata is also Aro's most powerful defensive weapon, so the same logic can be applied to her.

I also don't understand why Edward refers to Carlisle as ancient in his mind since Carlisle is only between 300 and 400 years old while Edward is a century old. Compared to others of their kind, that's relatively young.

Another thing, why would Edward's killing of criminals have attracted Aro's attention? The only way it would have done so is if Edward had been sloppy and left clues on the bodies that pointed to their killer being inhuman. Edward is smart, so I doubt he'd have left a trail of bodies drained of blood with teeth marks in their necks or something. He would have staged the scenes so that they sometimes appeared to be accidents or as though they had been killed by a normal human. Actually, it may have been more likely that he'd have just made the bodies disappear altogether. A lot of the criminals Edward hunted were also ones that the authorities knew nothing about, so being hailed as a vigilante hero would have been unlikely since a lot of victims would have been men who were considered respectable citizens by others. It's also even more unlikely that the human authorities would attribute every criminal kill to one killer when Edward wouldn't have staged the scenes the same way all the time, leaving no pattern to connect them. These are just more plotholes that weaken your story. I don't think Edward would have gotten caught by the Volturi or done anything to get their attention since he's hardly the only vampire who kills humans around the world. The Volturi only get involved if the secret about vampires existing is at risk, and Edward wouldn't have risked provoking them. He also would never have agreed to join a coven that kills innocent humans or who enjoys being vampires since Edward hates what he is and refuses to feed on humans unless they are predators. It's obviously AU, but you seem to be trying to stick to his canon character traits even with the AU storyline, so I feel like this depiction is a bit of a disservice to his character.

I also don't understand his mission to capture Bella since that's not how Aro acquires guard members. Aro does it in an underhanded way and relies a lot on Chelsea's power to bind less than willing vampires to his coven. Outright kidnapping and forcing vampires to join the Volturi would jeopardize their power, which is the reason Aro was so pleased when a viable excuse came from Irina that would let him destroy the Cullen coven. He wanted Alice more than anyone and would have left her alive in the end, offering Alice her life in exchange for eternal servitude before binding her to him using Chelsea's power. He probably would have taken Edward too, but Bella's power made the Volturi nearly powerless, which is why they backed down. Edward betraying the Volturi all of a sudden is similarly senseless since without knowing Bella's power, he'd just easily be hunted down by Demetri and killed. Why wouldn't he just try to convince Bella to join the Volturi so that the two of them would be safe from being hunted down and eliminated while still getting the girl? Edward has no chance against the Volturi, so his decision to suddenly turn on them has no logic to it.

Anyways, aside from these few details, your writing is superb and your grammar is excellent. Even though the details weaken the base of your story, it's still done in a way that incites curiosity for what will happen next. It's a great idea, and I look forward to seeing where it goes.
Bevey99 chapter 9 . 10/5/2021
This was a great read. Love the first part, where everything was new. Felix, Demitri and Marcus on Edwards side was a welcome change. Thanks for writing and sharing, long after the fact.
Lillywhite1 chapter 10 . 9/26/2021
Thanks for writing this wonderful story!
jen5795 chapter 10 . 5/4/2021
So good, really love this story.
Lyndseyxx chapter 1 . 4/27/2021
Great story, thanks for sharing!
Escapee2FF chapter 10 . 4/16/2021
really enjoyed this thankyou.
SianJohn chapter 10 . 4/11/2021
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful story with us. I absolutely loved what you did with my favourite characters.
debb lavoie chapter 10 . 11/2/2020
So good. Love what you did with the characters in this story. I'm happy you ended it where you did. I hate that it had to end, such a good storyline . Thanks for writing it.
debb lavoie chapter 7 . 11/2/2020
Yeah, this Edward isn't a brooder.
debb lavoie chapter 5 . 11/2/2020
This Felix I like.
debb lavoie chapter 4 . 11/1/2020
The wrestling, too funny.
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