|Reviews for When Night Falls|
| thrawn92 chapter 37 . 11/7/2012
Yes! the Spice Spiders are here! you should have had the spice sparkle in response to the lightsaber, since it is light sensitive
| thrawn92 chapter 36 . 11/7/2012
um, You mentioned that its hard to detect Force-users in a Force rich environment like Myrkyr, But I think Force users are hard to detect anyways, considering the Force-repulsing Ysalamiri make Myrkyr a "no-Force zone"
| thrawn92 chapter 7 . 11/6/2012
Is this going to turn into a romance between Rex and Ahsoka? Cuz I cant see them together. I mean, one is an approximately 15-16 year old Togrutan Jedi, while the other is 13-14 years old, but has the body of a 26 year old. I would think Lux Bonteri would be better.
| thrawn92 chapter 2 . 11/6/2012
SO this is an AU of post season 4? does that mean Darth Maul and Savage Opress get an appearance? that would be AWESOME!
| Blue Raspberry Boy chapter 30 . 11/1/2012
Interesting how Ahsoka is "messing" with Todo 360 - I never thought of that before, being able to manipulate a droid, but seeing as how they are "droids" it does make sense. Ahsoka is definitely clever and would know how to pull this sort of thing off.
Bane's reaction to the matter was entertaining, very Bane-esque. You're doing a great job of keeping him in character - adding more to the lines, the action, and the train of thought. He's the manipulator.
I adore how you keep up with both perspectives in the story, weaving in and out of their interactions as Bane goes one way, Rex and Ahsoka go another, and so forth. It just gives the whole thing a very fresh, brisk, and edgy feel that I always love :)
The relationship between Rex and Ahsoka is so sweet and beautiful, and I really enjoy those kinds of love stories, where even in circumstances such as this they trust each other and would do anything for the other. I get a growing sense of that sort of bond between them. It's the gradual transition from leader-follower, to friend-friend, to young man and young woman in love. I keep getting that signal from the way you write their thoughts, actions, and dialogue, and of course that's a good thing:
"A thrill ran down her spine as Rex simply looked at her, his eyes overflowing with hope and vibrancy and more. The spark of longing she'd sensed before had been replaced by gratitude, even joy." I loved this line! So touching!
I can tell Ahsoka has come a LONG way from the days of rescuing a little smelly Huttlet ;) Order 66, and her relationship with Rex, have made her mature beyond her years. And this new Ahsoka gets a big thumbs-up from me :P
Finally, the tension between Bane and Derek. Again, this also gives the story a brisk, edgy feel. These two definitely have some friction between them, in stark contrast to the growing bond between Rex and Ahsoka. It adds a whole other dynamic to the plot, and I like that.
"I'd say it's time we crash their little party." XD The intensity is only gonna escalate from here, I think.
LOVE reading WNF as always...you are doing a fantastic job with the rewrite and I always get excited when a new chapter is updated! It's just so deliciously rich and emotional and dark :D
Keep up the great work!
| Darksabre chapter 29 . 10/29/2012
Uh oh. FFN cut off part of my review because it broke the word limit.
Here's the rest of my review for Chapter 29:
Basically, they have both seen each other at their lowest points.
Awww - the image of Rex sleeping in Ahsoka's lap is so cute.
I really liked that Togruta poem - it's great, and describes Rex and Ahsoka's relationship perfectly.
In a forum here on FFN that I've been participating in, some users and I have mentioned the fact that often the reason that people fall to the dark side is that they don't have anyone who can truly understand and help them. Anakin Skywalker's fall might well have been avoided if he had had someone in his life who could truly empathize with him and offer him sound advice. Rex and Ahsoka both might well have gone entirely mad if they had not had the other at their lowest points. TOGETHER is how they will get through the coming storm.
This chapter was FABULOUS!:D Nothing felt over - the - top or overdone; I think Rex's reactions were the logical course of events. One can't underestimate what utter agony can do to a person's psyche.
| Darksabre35 chapter 29 . 10/29/2012
I was a naughty girl - I was eager to see what the changes to this chapter were so I skipped ahead to it!
I read the revised last scene of the previous chapter as well, so I'll start there.
First, the fact that Rex actually HIT Ahsoka shows just how hard this news has hit him - just how badly he is hurt. Rex berates himself every time he even moves what he considers to be "too close" to Ahsoka, so whatever would cause him to hit her has to be terrible. And so it is.
No Rex, Ahsoka has no intention of leaving you. Especially not now.
"This wasn't Rex at all." True - this persona is nothing like the Rex Ahsoka is used to. This is the Rex who has been broken by the knowledge that he was created to facilitate the evil of a Sith Lord, the Rex that has realized that his purpose in life was a massive lie, the Rex who has virtually nothing left.
Rex was there for Ahsoka when she was nearly going mad after the horror of Order 66; now she is going to have a chance to repay the debt. She is going to be here for him now, in his darkest moment ever.
It seems to me that Rex has some form of shell - shock/combat stress reaction here. He has become totally unresponsive, and I think the agony has simply become so intense that outwardly (and to some extent inwardly) he has shut down. He probably does not have much mental cognizance now - if one was to probe his mind with the Force you probably wouldn’t find much of anything save the involuntary processes that govern his body's functions. Only if you probed very deep would you be able to sense what he is very subconsciously feeling. His mind has been overloaded with pain, so it has temporarily shut down to protect itself, secreting his emotions to the farthest corners of his mind where even he is not really feeling them - he sort of knows the emotions are there, but his mind is refusing to let him feel them to keep him sane.
Philosophical psychology rant over.
Ahsoka's recollection of the way Rex befriended her and what he has done for her so far (which has been VERY impressive) is definitely what he needs to hear now. He needs to hear that he has made a GOOD difference in someone's life, that someone appreciates what he has done for them, since he is as of now firmly believing that his existence has been for evil.
Rex never gave up on Ahsoka - he always did his best for her, and now she's doing the same for him.
It is true - Rex has to open up for Ahsoka to be able to help him. You can't really help someone who doesn’t want/refuses your help. He needs help right now, but since he is partially shut down, he can't even rouse himself enough to accept or fully refuse Ahsoka's help.
This is horribly clichéd - but the eyes are the windows to the soul, and Rex is no different. Those eyes have faced up against so much - seeing them devoid of emotion or reason must be horrible. He really has shut down, but luckily Ahsoka is there to yank him out of it.
"Rex wouldn't see her." That's right, in a sense - his mind is refusing to let him out of the shell it has created to protect/guard itself. It will take some work to get him out of it.
Derek doesn’t seem to like Cad Bane much, does he?
Derek is not a prude; he is honorable. He already has a...potential girlfriend, and sleeping with whores is not honorable whether you are attached or not.
*chokes* Bane, you pervert…
This part actually made me smirk - poor little Derek is tired. Too bad his mommy wasn't there to sing him a bedtime song.
Short few minutes? Nah, Derek, you're out cold, and you have a right to be.
I could really feel Ahsoka's desperation at this point. Rex is the one person she can still fully count on, the person she cares about the most, and seeing him in this state must be just heartbreaking. At this point in the story I just wanted to step into my screen and hug Rex.:D
At last! It is perfectly in keeping with what he has just discovered that Rex would say, "Then who am I?" He has had most of his purpose in life taken away - who are any of us without a purpose? Everyone must have something to live for, and right now Rex feels he doesn’t have anything to live for. He needs a purpose, someone to live for, to have an identity again.
*solemn face* For the unflappable Rex to start CRYING - this is major. Again I'll digress into psychology - at this point Rex NEEDS a release. There is a horrible build - up of tension in him that began building when he was broken from his gestation vat on Kamino 13 years ago, and he needs a release. IMO, Rex has had some amount of PTSD for a VERY long time - who wouldn't, after all he has gone through? As Kal Skirata once put it, all the clones are messed up. They can't help but be - what with their exceedingly brutal and unnatural upbringing (the Kaminoans had no tolerance for weakness) and their life of war. They've been trained and modified in a way that allows them to stand it much longer than a normal human would, but it would eventually get to them too - because they are HUMAN!
At this point, Rex's mind is returning to full awareness but isn't there quite yet. His mind hasn't yet fully unlocked his "emotion box" so he still appears and feels stoic, but his mind has unlocked his "emotion box" enough for his body to begin producing the body's natural response to extreme pain - tears. He is sort of divided mentally - one part of his mind recognizing his pain enough to begin producing a physical reaction to it, the other part still refusing to let him truly feel it to protect himself.
Awwwww...if I could draw, this scene would make such a cute picture.
Here I have to commend Ahsoka again - it takes courage and tenacity to reach out and try to comfort a person who is this far gone into his agony.
After the physical release begins - at last, that mental block has broken and Rex's emotions flood out. This is good. While it must hurt horrendously, the release is the beginning of the healing. Sometimes, in order to heal, you must hurt first. - Clighal
I would want to keep hugging him too - if I was Ahsoka.:P
At last, we get a deep insight into what Rex is feeling. This part was so full of emotion; I LOVED it.
First we see what Rex was trained to believe he was supposed to be - an intelligent minion of the Republic whose only purpose was to defend it without question or consideration for himself. The false view he was fed on Kamino.
The Republic was nothing more than a rotting bureaucracy veneered with grand words and traditions. To the clones the Republic was painted as an organization worth dying for. In reality, it was little more than just words. The Republic never benefited them - why should they have had to fight for an organization that didn't even care about them?
Ahsok was right - the Jedi DID use the clone army. While that issue is heavily nuanced and has no easy answer, the truth is, the Jedi WERE partly to blame for the abuse of the GAR - although, IMO, more of the blame lies on the Republic - and most of all Sidious.
Rex has seen many things - things which, had he been slightly less honorable, would have made him desert - and quickly. But he stayed because, as he said, he was a soldier. Soldiers obey orders. Soldiers do not entangle themselves in civilian affairs. But more than that, Rex had a sense of HONOR and PURPOSE which was his guiding force in the darkest times. He continued to fight because he BELIEVED there was a purpose in his and his brothers' suffering, that they were fighting for a better future. They were not - they were fighting for a darker one.
And now that purpose is gone. And he is left with almost nothing. I cannot even begin to imagine his anguish and regret - everything he ever did in the war was to help Sidious, and he feels as if he is personally responsible for the evil which has been unleashed upon the galaxy.
Rex is so much more than a mass - produced killer. He is a man, and a very honorable one. I would be proud to have him as my friend or brother any day - since I cannot have him as a BF.:P
I like the contrast between Rex's blaster and Ahsoka's lightsaber - the lightsaber has been a symbol of peace and justice for millennia, while the DC is a symbol of misguided loyalty and ultimately Palpatine's evil.
"I've been used for the last time." That line was positively CHILLING. Rex has been USED horribly, and at this point his pain and guilt and knowledge that he was a pawn is too much for him. I'm not sure whether he really wants to die, but he is so much pain that he just wants it to STOP. And he is not thinking clearly because of his pain - he is acting rashly.
What a rash - but VERY effective way to get Rex to put down that blaster! While Rex is not thinking very clearly now, I don't think he could shoot Ahsoka in ANY circumstance. He didn't do it when he was ordered by the highest authority in his life (Palpatine) to do so; he won't do it now.
This part was one of those that just hits you so hard - one of those parts you go back and read over and over because it's so dramatic and emotional and romantic. Brilliant.
The fact that Ahsoka says SHE will give up if Rex gives up is definitely enough to wake him up. Knowing that someone CARES is often enough to help people pull through their darkest moments, and Rex realizes that Ahsoka CARES more than she can even say.
Yes - she can give him herself, her heart.
Ahhhh…the part where Ahsoka asked Rex to let HER be his reason to keep going made me feel all warm and mushy inside. It was so romantic.
Awwww...you know, I seriously need a 'Rex' in my life. But then, I'm only 15 1/2.:P
I liked the "mush" here - Rex and Ahsoka are so cute!
At last, the worst of the storm is past. I liked how you built up the tension, gave us an explosive climax, and then "cooled down" into a cute but potent ending.
Ahsoka and Rex have much in common, and this...event has strengthened their bond in a way nothing else could have. Basically, they
| Jade-Max chapter 28 . 10/19/2012
This is the knife’s edge has finally slipped and fallen, taking Rex with it and this, I feel, is where the story between Ahsoka and Rex [great as it’s been thus far] really starts.
Rex, to this point, really seems to have been flying on auto-pilot; he’s buried everything he’s believed and felt in the interest of supporting Ahsoka, to be what she needs, and doesn’t appear to have thought beyond that; perhaps he didn’t want to.
But with Derek’s reveal, we see everything come crashing down on Rex and now, suddenly, what he believed was right and true and real is nothing but the biggest practical joke in the history of the Galaxy. He’s confronted with his actions and decisions and record and forced to reevaluate everything that he thought made him who he was.
That we see this from Ahsoka’s point of view is fantastic; she’s not expecting his reaction to Derek’s reveal and, just as she’s considering what this means to him, he’s gone.
Derek *shakes head* he sure knows how to pick his moments, doesn’t he?
I like how he’s determined to get through to Ahsoka, but she’s as equally determined to escape him as quickly as possible and get to Rex. She doesn’t seem to be doing anything more than humoring him, listening to Derek so that he’ll let her pass.
That is until Derek makes his point about other orders that were flash trained into the clones, Rex included.
I love how she goes from trying to move past him to get to Rex, to the tolerant, suffering listener to the fierce defender; almost like… a predator defending their mate? *grin* Ah, the shipper in me delights in it.
Seriously though; Ahsoka’s impassioned defense of Rex in the face of Derek’s accusations and implications, is a fantastic piece of writing. She’s already been through hell and back with Rex and to have Derek try to impugn the honor of the man who’s stood by her through everything; who’s not taken advantage of her though he’s had the chance…
I can only imagine the kind of hurt that causes her to hear such a noble man be smeared by an individual he risked his life to save – condemned simply for being what he is, not who. I *love* that Ahsoka eventually throws Derek off and gives him what fore before going after Rex.
Derek does try his damndest though and I have to give him points for that. Misguided though he may be in thinking he knows the situation better than Ahsoka, at least the accusations come from a genuine need to ensure she’s safe.
If Derek needed to say a few things to her, well apparently so did Ahsoka simply to get the point across. She’s not leaving Rex because of Derek’s suspicions and she’s certainly not letting some jaded, prejudiced Jedi Padawan change an opinion based in years of trust affect the way she sees her man.
And Rex is hers, even if both of them won’t exactly say it yet lol!
In an aside, I have to mention the fact I *love* the inference about Bly and Alaya and the fact that Bly couldn’t resist the order as a comparison for Rex and Ahsoka’s situation ;)
It just goes to show that whatever’s between Rex and Ahsoka is something that’s stronger than anyone really knows or expects; a powerful friendship first and the rock solid foundation that allows them to build it into something more.
Something tells me that Rex and Ahsoka have not told Derek about Ahsoka’s.. er… ‘offer’ to Rex, shortly after being rescued ;) If they had, he wouldn’t be considering Rex’s reasons for sticking around *grin* I was half expecting Ahsoka to throw that in his face: “He had his chance and he didn’t take it; back off!” But then I can understand why not – that was a very intense personal situation that she still feels badly about.
Ahsoka’s attempts to reach Rex are heart and gut wrenching. You describe his emptiness, his desolation so well; as if he’s been wiped and left an empty shell for re-programming. He’s withdrawn so far into himself that when Ahsoka first enters the closet, it’s like… he’s gone. Rex has left the building even though his body is living on auto pilot. Forcing him to breathe, though I’m sure he’d rather not at those moments…
Derek’s ensuing discussion with Bane and his attempts to save face are one of those laughable little series of unfortunate events where he *seems* to be trying to make the best of a bad situation and do his damndest not to rush after Ahsoka.
I love how Bane kinda tortures him with the innuendoes about Rex and Ahsoka from the get go and then decides to use him as a practice run for fooling Ahsoka *grin*
*bursts out laughing* Derek’s stomach giving him away - and that blush! Talk about an LOL moment – very real and totally unexpected. The first time I read this I laughed too; it’s a great touch and a nice way to have Derek and Bane spend some ‘quality’ time together *laughs*
Their whole exchange is funny on one level and lethal on another. Bane quickly realizes that Derek is a different kind of Jedi than Ahsoka and gives up his plan; rightly so. I doubt there’s anything Bane could say that would make him believe in the bounty hunter at this point… or ever ;) That scene is played well and, once again, Bane seems like Bane; he’s a miserable person, but at least he knows who and what he is *grin*
Then we’re back to Ahsoka and Rex and I admire her determination; it’s a clear counterpoint of what’s happening to Rex and a mirror to the way that he refused to leave her at her darkest moments. The comparison between this situation and the situation with Anakin was surprising but I think very apt.
Ahsoka’s lost one mentor and friend to despair and desolation; she’s determined not to lose another no matter the cost to herself. It’s this give and take, this balance between them that makes reading them so fascinating, I think. For all there are discrepancies between them, they really are perfectly complimentary to one another!
Side note: There is an unfinished sentence in the 5th paragraph at the end - “But it didn’t mean” – that I’m insanely curious about!
The buildup is killing me – I must know what happens and how you’ve changes it! *runs off to read the latest updated chapter*
| Jade-Max chapter 27 . 10/19/2012
Off the bat – a couple of “Derik” references in the chapter ;)
Ahsoka’s retelling and then Derek’s are something I find fascinating; you make good use of the opportunity to showcase just how this whole series of events can impact after the fact. I really enjoy how the whole sequence as Ahsoka learns it is almost a shredding effect. Things were horrible and hopeless before and now, somehow, they’re even worse because she didn’t see what was happening and didn’t stop it.
Ahsoka’s learning it so far after it’s happened, there’s no hope of her undoing any of it – and yet she still feels responsible. That Derek *and* Rex pick up on it and offer the same kind of reassurance on that fact is intriguing; and it gives them their first real common ground.
Both men want to protect Ahsoka but for different reasons and in different manners but the outcome is the same. Neither wants to see her hurting and, in this instance, put aside their personal feelings.
Even if it’s just for the briefest of split seconds, but the desire on both sides is there ;)
I do find it interesting that Derek isn’t trusting his first impression of Rex’s emotional impact towards Ahsoka from a couple of chapters back; it’s like, because Rex is a clone, he can’t possibly having been right about the read on his emotions before he discovered that fact *sighs* talk about bigotry; if he’d trust himself and what he felt and didn’t twist it in context, he’d have no argument – of course, then we’d have no conflict and where’s the fun in that? :p
There’s a lot that’s covered in this chapter, particularly with regards to bringing Ahsoka and Rex up to speed and the revelation of all that is lost and all that has yet to be acknowledged as lost. It’s the passing of dreams, the acceptance of it, and the realization that they all have to reprioritize and start dreaming new ones – but not for some time since they have a lot to accomplish before new dreams really have a place in their lives.
Right now it’s about goals.
Derek’s story is one that I’m sure is echoed across the cosmos. Padawan’s escaping because of their Master’s; fleeing and fighting to survive… I wonder how many blame themselves for their Master’s passing because, without a Padawan in tow, they’d have been able to escape?
[small typos, Derik still appearing along with a Rec ;) ]
Derek’s recounting of his time with his Master is well done. Emotional, chalk full of respect and frustration, but overall you can tell he really respected her and her unorthodox viewpoints and methods. Apparently he and his Master, much like Ahsoka and Anakin, were well matched.
The build up to the revelation of Sidiou’s identity though, despite all the goodness that comes before it, steals the chapter. Rex’s confusion and frustration, his desire to simply have them spit it out because he doesn’t follow their line of thinking – all of it is a perfect set up for what needs to come next :D
- side note; missing a separator between Derek saying Palpatine is Sidious and Bane’s section at the end ;)
The ending with Bane is ominous in its execution, especially on the tail end of that reveal. I love that you’re including the canon events that were already set up before TCW was included; it’s a nice touch to add to the realism of the story!
| Jade-Max chapter 26 . 10/19/2012
I actually wondered if you’d missed a chapter with the shift to Bane’s POV at the beginning of this chapter when the last one ended so tensely. I took it on faith though, and wasn’t disappointed. We get a glimpse of Bane and his thought process and what’s about to occur. Though we know his motive is always credits, we also see that there’s more to him than just some glorified credit whore ;)
Pardon the term *grin*
His interactions with Todo always intrigue me. You’ve a good handle on the ‘voice’ of both characters, but it’s when they are in the same room together and Bane is being Bane that they really shine. Todo is the ever suffering techno service droid with the impossible to please master and I really enjoy the way you write that dynamic.
His ego is amazing, but totally an integral part of his character and I laughed at the thought that he despised Nal Hutta because there was only room for one Cad Bane in the Galaxy *grin* very fitting!
Bane’s assessment of Ahsoka from his view point always makes me grin too – she’s still the snarky, too proud Jedi with a soft spot a mile wide and his view of her does make one question why he’s counting on the ‘flaws’ he sees in her to help him.
Hero-complex *laughs* yeah, I’d agree with that – I’d say most Jedi have it ;)
Bane’s reflection on Todo’s programming and thinking he has a virus or something because he’s not quite as bitchy is totally an LOL moment; amazing what a little TLC does for the droid, eh?
I had to re-read the series of thoughts Bane was contemplating several times just because it’s such excellent character exposition – his plans for Ahsoka are ones that I just… the scheming is fantastic! Such convolution, such misdirection; you give us glimpses of his ultimate plan, but just enough that it’s difficult to put the pieces together if you don’t know already. Great stuff!
And then his thought about two men and one women in a room *bursts out laughing* ah Bane :D His innuendoes and gutter mind just make me smirk . Awesome; so fitting to his seedy character ;)
The image you then give of Ahsoka’s predicament, how she’s sandwiched between the two men, is very vivid. Her thought pattern is hilarious to a degree though. Awkward, eh? Man, she has *no* clue lol!
But the referee comment had me in stitches; I’m a soccer referee myself so I immediately pictured him in footballer gear with a whistle *snicker* oh gosh - *what* a mental image!
The tension through this sequence is a great intensification of the same from the last chapter. The confrontation and Bane’s appearance everything it should be right up to Ahsoka losing a little bit of her swagger and confidence in deal with Bane and Bane’s refusal to leave the trio along because he doesn’t trust them not to tear each other to pieces.
Ahsoka’s following thoughts are well founded; if she’d been but half a second later, her little ‘us’ would have been ended before it’d really begun :/ I like that she has to acknowledge the fact she wants a little revenge and has to push it away. It’s only natural to want to protect that which you care for and avenge them or even the score when you see other people judging them or hurting them.
The teamwork aspect of Rex and Ahsoka continues to carry through this chapter, with them leaning on one another’s skills as they exit the ship into unfamiliar territory, each seeming to expect a double cross, but knowing Bane wants them for some reason and that they have no choice but to trust him.
Derek at this point just feels like he’s along for the ride ;) His reflections on the situation and his reevaluation of Rex now that he knows him as a clone is a touch unfair – but totally understandable. I don’t know that I’d be able to trust Rex either in his position, no matter that he’d just helped save him.
His jumpy reaction, when Bane turns on the lights as a result, is perfectly understandable :p
I really like how he analyzes why he’s following Ahsoka and just can’t really put his finger on it. It’s a good character moment, especially with the exhaustion preying on him. It’s something that gives him that credibility as a character in his own right and not just “An OC for fodder” *grin*
Rex’s perspective is a great way to end this chapter once again; he’s the analytical man still, the soldier, the emotionless , stoic wall Ahsoka needs to be, putting her needs ahead of his own.
Whatever those are since I’m not sure even Rex knows what those are.
He’s so focused on what’s happened and how it’s affecting Ahsoka, that eventually there’s going to be a major snap in our good Captain; there has to be. For all he’s putting her first, he’s just as susceptible to the toll that’s being taken and the toll must always be paid…
It’s chilling, actually, to have Rex consider how the attack on the Jedi Temple occurred and the fact it would have involved his men. I mean, you describe how they do it in the movie through Rex’s thoughts, almost as if it’s a natural tactical assignment. Like one of those displays for ‘how to’, you know? Goes to show that Rex can understand exactly how the Jedi could have succumbed to Torrent Company though :/
His admiration of Ahsoka here with how she’s handling the situation she has no choice to handle, is just beautiful to read. All of it is. You’ve done a great job including the shifts in the characters and the events that helped shape them.
And then… the infamous words; no good news ever follows “We Need to Talk” – gut punch, round thirty coming up next ;)
| Jade-Max chapter 25 . 10/19/2012
Your… take on Ahsoka at the start of this chapter. Her empathy, her understanding, her realization that Derek is going to be understandably cautious, suspicious and traumatized and doing her best to mitigate it, is some of the best showcase you have in understanding her character.
Her wisdom through this sequence is… after being Anakin’s Padawan, it just blows me away.
Derek’s reaction to Bane is totally everything it should be. He knows the price on his head, his suspicions can’t be allayed, but it’s the way he turns on Ahsoka and accuses her of not being trustworthy; the way he tells her about Anakin and what he’s done that really hammers home in the start of this chapter.
I understand he’s hurt, I know where the accusation is coming from, but he doesn’t know her and here he’s already accusing [understandable but yeah…] her of being a Traitor like Anakin. That Ahsoka gives in when Derek tries to feel her true emotions and lets him *feel* what she’s feeling is another hallmark of her wisdom. She’s in pain, incredible pain, but seems to understand - even if it’s not a conscious thing - that to keep Derek out will do her no good; that in fact, it will help her case.
Rex stepping in to hold Ahsoka makes my throat close, especially when Derek is feeling what Rex is towards Ahsoka. That Derek draws the conclusion he can’t possibly be a clone because of the facts he has, is a little amusing since we all know that’s not true, but mostly it really showcases that his feelings towards clones are exactly what a lot of people think them as.
It’s refreshing to know as a reader, he’s about to have his block reprogrammed :D
Seriously though, Derek basically withdrawing from the emotional whirlwind of concern and ‘unspecified’ emotion Rex has for Ahsoka that’s not only strong, but seems almost blinding, I think he knows before either of them just what exactly Rex’s feelings are ;)
Ahsoka taking that comfort and using it for what it is – a shield – is very fitting. I love that the news is a shock but not exactly an unexpected one as they’d been finding clues. Her ability to lean on Rex, to use him as that anchor, that – what’s the word you used… *looks for it* ah yes ‘bulwark’ against the pain while knowing that she can’t afford to *not* feel it… this is a very strong, very telling moment between them.
She needs him and Rex is there; it’s selfless on his part – as always ;) – putting her needs first and, while I’m sure he’s reeling with the news about Anakin too, he’s doing what he can to help mitigate her shock and sorrow.
The sudden shift from grief to backbone is a touch jarring as Ahsoka does what’s necessary to get rid of Bane – funny in its own way, but sad too because she can’t take the time to assimilate and reflect on what Derek’s told her. She’s had to grow up, to become the point of challenge, and part of me feels she’s taking what she’s just learned out on Bane the tiniest of bit because he’d likely *known* about Anakin - and deliberately chosen not to say anything.
The idea of Ahsoka coming across as a flirt to Cad Bane…. *rolls on the floor laughing* right – like *that* would ever happen :D
You know though… if she wants to flirt, she should flirt with Rex, at least she’d get an honest and welcome reaction ;)
Bane, however, does get the last word and *what* a last word :D
Then the initial discussion with Derek where he’s actually listening to her – which is just fantastic. The tension through the scene just builds and builds as Derek seems to hear her but isn’t willing to give on his stance that Bane is evil and couldn’t possibly be helping them tied to the notion that there’s nothing they can do as individuals is really selfish, but I feel that’s part of who he is at this moment.
I can’t say I blame him.
I wouldn’t feel particularly charged to go running back into danger if I were him either; that near miss, his acceptance that he’d never see Brit again – it has to be very jarring to realize there’s a possibility he’ll actually survive this and accomplish his own goals without adding any more to them.
Ahsoka’s call on Derek having someone to go after, to rescue himself, was a little underhanded on her part, but very intuitive. It’s a natural lead into the revelation of Rex’s identity and you handle that very well.
Not only does Ahsoka seem to realize that Rex’s identity is going to cause some problems, but she tries to ease into the explanation by giving Derek Rex’s actions instead of his identity first. Derek, however, after everything that’s happened, has a very natural reaction.
Note: There’s an incomplete sentence in the “Derek’s pulse began to” and again in the first Paragraph of Rex’s POV after Derek demands he remove his helmet ;)
I love this shift to Rex’s POV. His protective instincts with Ahsoka are in full overload and right there, not willing to sacrifice her safety to the volatile Jedi Padawan who’s already hurt her once. Rex’s determination to face down Derek and keep Ahsoka away from him all shine through so clearly, so amazingly, that the tension in this sequence makes me want to bite my nails to the quick.
I have to say though… Rex going after Derek while he’s got his lightsaber in hand was just… wow. I don’t know a lot of characters with the bravery or gumption, to take on a lightsaber wielding Jedi. He acquits himself well.
Ahsoka stepping in, though, is inevitable. He’s outmatched, blaster vs lightsaber for all the fight he puts on. Your description of the sensation of being Force pushed made me grin; I can only imagine it must be very disconcerting for someone who’s as used to being in control as Rex to be pulled around like a rag doll.
The standoff between Ahsoka and Derek is tense, but it’s ramped up by Bane’s appearance at the end – Bane just… knows how to make an entrance, eh?
Awesome job :D
| Jade-Max chapter 24 . 10/18/2012
*bursts out laughing*
I know I shouldn’t laugh at the beginning of such a serious chapter, but that opening line makes me *every* time.
Rex’s aversion to falling is one of the things I really like about him. He doesn’t like it, but he does it, and having him compare Anakin’s strategies to the ones Ahsoka is now employing is just too funny.
Apt – but funny – for a moment anyway, before you bring us back with a *thump* to reality with Rex’s grim musings. He’s not shying from the fact he’s going to be killing his own brothers now, but he’s analyzing what it’s going to take because of just *who* they are. Because of what he knows about them and their training and abilities; because he knows he’s about to face brothers as equally equipped as himself with the intention of killing not only the Jedi in the Tower, but the girl who’s given him purpose.
It’s a sobering thought and really sets the tone for just how hard this is for Rex, all the while affirming that he’s made his choice and he’s not going to change it ;) The awkward moments between them just before battle lend a sense of realism to both Rex and Ahsoka - despite what’s happening, that they’re about to jump into the unknown for another [possibly foolish] rescue attempt, they’re not completely capable of blocking out the difficulties between them.
The atmosphere, the visual of Rex and Ahsoka clinging to the hull of the hand, the way they’re forced to yell and have a hard time hearing Bane – all of it are fantastic ways to ramp up the tension, to put us on the edge of our seats…
And then we dive, literally, into the fray with Rex and Ahsoka jumping to the rescue *cue heroic music*
The switch to Derek’s POV is fantastic; it’s a great opportunity to showcase not only him as an OC, but I always love seeing people’s first glimpse of the new Ahsoka and her *cough* consort ;) You give Derek such life, such a grim determination, I can totally relate to him; he’s got real strength and determination that make me admire the fact he’d not willing to give in meekly – that he *wants* to live, but knows there comes a time when you accept the inevitable.
Or rather, what appears to be inevitable ;)
Your use of forms to describe his stance gives me a great visual since I use it in my writing sometimes as well. This battle seems almost like a showcase for what Derek can do and it’s a great way of introducing us to his characteristics, talents and Force abilities. He seems to be very in touch with them ;)
And aware of what he’s doing by touching on his feelings of rage; darkside becomes him *grin* I need to mention that I got a good laugh at the “Form that killed Qui-Gon Jinn” comment *snicker* because well…. It’s true :p
Ahsoka’s landing is well executed – I especially like the way you showcase how she arrests her fall without smacking herself into the ground. Her time with Anakin taught her well; she certainly knows how to catch herself! With a Master like Anakin, if she hadn’t been able to, I suspect she’d have been left far behind if she wasn’t as sharp and adaptive as she is ;)
*looks back* I really should end a paragraph with a proper punctuation mark at some point…
Derek’s mind set when Ahsoka appears is everything it should be. Almost feral, in a way, ready to die and go down fighting, taking as many enemies as he can with him and it shows just how much control he has to break off mid-swing, redirect, regroup and then rush to Ahsoka’s aid.
I hate to say, I really enjoy the way you write Rex’s viewport for these battles. It’s like he’s two people - the brother who’s rebelling against killing his family and the analytical ice man that’s holding the brother a willing prisoner because neither is willing to risk Ahsoka’s safety for their own comfort and peace of mind.
The worst part?
She’d never directly ask it of him. He came of his own free will; he follows her willingly and the prisoner the brother in him is, is one he’s deliberately keeping because to do anything else, to let -that- part of the man he is have a say and free reign, would be to court madness.
Then – they’re falling again *laughs* oh boy! Ahsoka’s intuitive decision to slide between Derek and Rex is a good one; a smart one. I can just imagine that Derek would love to take yet another clone with him to his death – or at least to the clone’s death.
The rescue is well written; chalk full of suspense and tension and Derek’s relief at having escaped death and eventually seeing Brit very well written. But seeing Bane from Derek’s POV is just priceless. He’s fully expecting Ahsoka to be the one to greet him, to check on him, and what a cruel twist of fate that it’s Bane *grin*
I did note at one point Rex is "Roc" and one other place a sentence seems cut/unfinished, but other than that *claps*bravo!
:D I’m totally running off to read the next one; I love the Derek / Ahsoka / Bane / Rex confrontation sequence and I can’t wait to see what you’ve done with it!
| Jade-Max chapter 23 . 10/18/2012
I think you, my friend, have a poet’s soul ;) His name is aptly fitting and very appropriate for being one of the last Jedi. Have I mentioned that before? No? Well, it is, so I’m saying it now :) I love the imagery his name provides.
Nar Shadda fairly leaps off the page with the descriptions you’ve added; it was good before, but now I really can picture it. You must play a lot of the video games where you end up there *laughs* that’s what this reminds me of – trust me; that’s a good thing :)
I love what you’ve done with Derek! I’ve been eagerly waiting to get to this chapter just to see what changes you’d bring to your OC, if any, and you’ve done a good job polishing him. I did notice you spelt Derek’s name “Defek” a time or two though ;) I do have to say though, that I love how he knows he’s brash, but not stupid; people often confuse the two and to bring it to the reader’s attention is a great plot device!
The explanation as to how he was followed, his use of a lightsaber when he shouldn’t have; his attempts to ditch the tails and his plan to disappear into Nal Hutta are all things I can envision and see in my head. Great stuff!
Isn’t it interesting how the Padawans seem to have survived the initial inception of Order 66, yet the Masters are the ones who fell? Funny how that works, isn’t it?
And then it’s back to our dynamic… Trio :p
Ahsoka and Rex’s sleeping arrangements made me grin but what really stood out for me at the beginning of this section is Bane’s interest in Rex’s modifications to the wrist module to make it work with his new armor. I love how Rex is able to surprise the Bane time after time; almost like because he’s a clone, Bane doesn’t expect much, if anything, from him.
It’s an advantage that I’m surprised Rex doesn’t use more in his favor. Underestimating your opponent can certainly be a fatal flaw for someone in Bane’s position. ;)
But the description of how she and Rex are coping with this newness between them made me laugh. The ability to work so well in tandem, in harmony, when they’ve a common goal and work as the team they’ve always been is both heartening but also frustrating because we see the new changes to their relationship impacting that teamwork. Not just in negative ways, as showcased by how they work better as a team now than before, but the negative impacts are what’s causing the tension – among other things ;)
Ahsoka’s realization of what Rex is going through is necessarily painful, I think. She’s aware of her own pain, but Ryloth really hammered home the fact that she’s not the only one. Rex has been her rock before now and, now that the days have passed and she’s had a chance to recover and heal some, it’s becoming clear that her rock has a few cracks around the edges. Cracks that only she can help heal.
Her contemplation that what’s between her and Rex might not be a bad thing, and the lead up to the realization, the consideration, that Rex takes the same solace in her that she does in him, is exceedingly well done and I love the moment you chose to have her do it.
Rex’s interruption of her inner monologue, and the switch to his view point, is really well played *claps*
I *love* that you had them organize the cargo so they have a place to sit with one another. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse that they basically have to sit and stare at each other for long hours when they choose to make use of the benches *grin*
Rex taking what he’s learned from Ryloth and applying it to the new rescue was a choke up moment for me; I *adore* the way you play with that aspect of his character. The analytical soldier that’s trying to do the right thing and, no matter the previous emotional cost, work through it so that there’s a good plan in place to ensure a better success this time. Not that it’s guaranteed, as they acknowledge, but certainly raises their odds.
Have I mentioned I love the wrist comms? No? Yes? I’ll do so now anyway; awesome – simply awesome :D I love how you’ve integrated them into the ‘normal’ operation of our Duo to put them on par with Bane.
*giggles* “Banging is what I do best”? Oh la la – oh my, Rex! The connotations of that line are too numerous to count considering I’m taking it out of context lol!
Back to Derek – climbing for ten hour?! Dude, the guy’s a nut! I’d be loco by then – and the Stormies are no better. Chasing him all that time; talk about determination – on both counts!
I adore how you close the jaws of the trap on Derek and showcase the clones thinking and setting up their ambush. Having him being forced to engage with the clear intention of his demise doesn’t make him any less likeable. In fact, after 10 hours of evasion, it’s almost a relief to see a battle!
Derek’s plan is simplistic in its perfection; the way to inflict the most casualties with the least amount of effort. I like the way he thinks. Even if it then morbidly switches into the contemplation but I find I like that too. Derek, for all that he is, knows the better part of valor.
He knows when to run, how to try and evade and, when that time is finished, he knows how to stand and fight.
You handle his bit about regrets really well too; I’d regret not being able to keep my promises to my loved ones too. Gives him that human edge that Jedi often lack ;)
The entry into Nar Shadda is just too priceless for words with Cad Bane being his charming self and making use of that badass reputation. I love that the Nar Shadda controller knows him – it’s a very authentic touch.
Ahsoka’s impatience *always* makes me laugh when reading this chapter; it’s so true to her character, if for no reason than she really doesn’t want to be late again. No one could blame her – I certainly don’t. I wouldn’t want to fail again after Ryloth either if I was her!
Rex’s overprotective urge seems… er.. disproportionate? I didn’t read anywhere that Bane had actually touched Ahsoka – or maybe he’s just being protective to ensure it doesn’t *ever* happen; I wouldn’t want Bane touching my girl either if I was him *smirk*
Ahsoka and Rex kind of dancing and changing places, first one between the other and Bane and then reverse totally made me grin. They’re both so protective of one another, it’s adorable even though it can come out at the wrong moments ;)
The last part though *always* makes me laugh. Bane making his point – that it wouldn’t take much for him to incapacitate the former Captain with a simple knee jerk… and Rex’s retaliation and Bane’s smugness that he’s not vulnerable in *that* way because he’s not the same species just… ROFL!
Kudos to you for being willing to include the dirty tricks Bane can play; I’m sure you’ve some unfortunately unlucky experience to draw on with just how… incapacitating that can be. I’ve seen it enough; I pity the guys it happens to!
And Ahsoka?! *snicker* The boys are acting like testosterone driven nut-bars fighting over the chocolate coating and need to grow up a bit *grin* Ah, sweetie; of course it’s too much info ;) I love her internal voice at the end lol!
Fantastic stuff :D
Again a few typos but nothing that detracted from the story - if you want, I can send them your way :)
| sunburst223 chapter 38 . 10/17/2012
Covered in dust, grime, blood, and quite possibly spider saliva while in a dark cave with a gigantic spider wanting to eat them. Yep seems like the right time to kiss to me. Great chapter. For sure you've done the impossible. You've mad me, a person who hated Rexsoka and was a little hesitant going into this actually enjoy the story and have no problems with the pairing.
| Jade-Max chapter 22 . 10/17/2012
Ahsoka’s impatience right off the bat is a grin moment for me. The irony of the fact that she’s anxious for Bane to arrive, *wants* him to get there sooner rather than later, isn’t lost on my morbid sense of humor.
It’s not the fact that he told them he’d be there, or that they arrived on time, or that she kind of needs the distraction because her current companion is way too much of one [and not in a way she can yet appreciate or being herself to gladly accept] – more in the way that Ahsoka seems to be latching on to just about anything and anyone in a desperate attempt to prevent herself from having to think.
And by that, I mean think about:
The men they left behind.
The spot they now find themselves in.
Her recent failures.
The fate of her friends and fellow Jedi.
But, most importantly, about Rex and the subtle but fundamental shift in their relationship.
That she’s considering taking Bane to task over simple courtesy just made me laugh – and then I sighed because it was followed by the reminder that her relationship with Rex has shifted and changed so much in her mind that she can no longer talk to him. Or rather, she can’t be with him, talk with him, without those changes being rather obvious, so she chooses not to.
The shift is enough that five minutes together feels like an eternity where before it would have been a blink of an eye.
The shipper in me *loved* this part of this line: “it seemed that when she wasn’t throwing herself into his arms and feeling way too eager to do so” *shakes head* wow; she’s got it bad ;) but the practical part of me read the whole quantification that followed and groaned. That Ahsoka is pretty much of the same mind as Rex - that they have to deny this attraction and change – saddens me as an individual; but it thrills me as a reader because it makes from some *great* angst ;)
The ‘date’ implication was an LOL moment; too funny! And you followed it up with the exact effect Rex has Ahsoka – grin moment! – only to use all of it as a quantification as to why she *shouldn’t* be feeling the way she’s feeling and that she needs to find a way to put them back on the terms they used to be on without hurting Rex in the process *head desk*
I look forward to the day when they both realize, *really* realize and understand, that the shift in their relationship is permanent and they can only move forward – not go back. I realize that it’s coming, having read through the story at one go already, but I can only imagine what you’re going to add/shift/change to give that sequence even more impact!
Is it bad of me I want to lock the two of them in a little room together and leave them there for a week until they work this out? *smirk* ‘course if I did that, there’d be no story lol!
Or rather… there would be a *different* story :p
Have I mentioned I love the way you handle the “sense of time” at the top of each chapter? I always feel with Star Wars it’s difficult to tell just how much time has passed, not so with your story.
Showcased even more in Ahsoka’s need to speak with Bane and get what she bargained for to begin with; a list of survivors, of what Jedi were still on the run and who might need their help. Her thinking is great; about how she has to use her strengths to bluff the bounty hunter, to get what she wants.
I love that her fundamental character is intact and every time I read a chapter, I can hear and see and *feel* what’s happening like I’m watching an episode of TCW; it’s fantastic :D
The Rex/Ahsoka moments make my throat close with frustration and empathy, even something as simple as a nod that’s laced with more meaning in a small sentence than a whole paragraph or page. Neither of them really knows what to do with the other; how to make this *right* again between them – not realizing that denying this is just going to make it worse. And then, true to form, they push it all away, despite their personal misgivings, to stand as a team before Bane.
It’s a beautiful, if frustrating, thing to see.
Bane ‘waiting’ on Ahsoka and Rex is a mental image I’ll not soon forget – LOL!
And then, as Bane leaves, the *looks* they exchange are just… really well written; silent communication is so much fun, no? :)
Bwahaha! Bane’s “practicing your flirting line” was priceless :D
The discussion about surviving Jedi is one I really like. I particularly like the way Ahsoka points out Obi-Wan’s name and you have Rex’s reaction down to exactly what I figure it would be. Cody was his brother, his friend, and Ahsoka following his train of thought, not only following it but wanting to help Rex in some fashion… beautiful :)
Rex, however, is the quintessential soldier. While Ahsoka’s just eager to know who survived and who hasn’t, Rex is the one who comes right down to the meat of it. He remembers why they’re asking and goes on to prod Bane for more… leading to a typical Bane answer *grin* Ah Bane – you write him so well :D
But of course, this all leads into the revelation of exactly where the Galaxy stands; to the formation of the Empire and their reactions are everything they should be.
Incredulous. Confused. Outraged. Disgusted. Horrified.
All of that and more, leaving them with more questions – as it should – than answers
The switch from Ahsoka’s point of view to Rex’s provided me with some good answers and a real insight into just how well you know Rex. I love the analytical analyses of the situation. The way Rex forces himself to acknowledge that the Chancellor is, in fact, acting in a legal capacity because of the contingency orders and their outcome. As Supreme Commander in Chief of the GAR, the Chancellor has every right to execute those orders.
I especially liked the phrase “an effective dictator in the space of three words” – mostly ‘cause it’s true ;)
And then, of course, it’s the mention of his brothers and their service ‘to the Empire’ that gets his back up and blasts the logical thoughts away. Temporarily, perhaps, but it certainly makes him indignant and offended before he resumes considering the angles.
Their talk is a difficult one to read; two friends, who are more than that but deny it, leaning on one another and trying to make sense of a world where someone has just said that up is down, blue is red and evil is good.
Ahsoka’s concern for Anakin is touching, but it’s Rex’s optimism that really shines. He’s trying so hard to help her not think the worst, to give her that continued hope despite his own misgivings; to ensure she’s willing and able to keep up the fight. Not only is he recognizing that she *wants* to fight, but that she *needs* to and, within that, he’s giving her the support she needs, the prodding she needs, to be able to take those next steps.
I think, reading through this, it’s really Rex that pushes Ahsoka into the next step of their plans because she needs that; she needs that lead in, the assurance that *something* comes next.
His focus on her is pretty much absolute and even, to my delight, includes an acknowledgement that he’s not yet really considered [and/or understood] the implications the changes – any and all of the changes – have for him personally. I love moments of acknowledgement like that and it’s so easy to let them slip by ;)
And then the awkwardness of Ahsoka trying to communicate was an “aww” moment for me. It’s obvious she’s nervous, choosing her words carefully, where as once they would simply have rolled off the tip of her tongue. The impact of her choice of words is a fantastic touch; an echo of the Chancellor’s and you did really well using that as a mirror.
I especially love how Rex deliberately ignores the tension that springs up between them to give her the reassurance she so obviously needs; the affirmation that her words and her sentiment aren’t misguided or hollow.
He’s such a good guy!
The last sequence of this whole chapter where they place their weapons on the table and Rex’s reason for doing so, and not explaining except to echo her words, really drive home just how united they are. He needs to make her understand it, to *feel* it after the address of the chancellor and you get that across fantastically well.
Point of crit: there are a couple of missing letters and misspelled words in the section from Rex’s POV ;)
Upwards and onwards; next chapter, here I come :D
p.s. whoops - got carried away :p