Reviews for Inevitability
er1nsg1rl chapter 6 . 9/10/2011
As good as all your other oneshots. Its not nice to see Jesse vunerable but still Jesse. Daring though having sex with your parents downstairs.

Can't wait to see the next bit.
A Smiling Cat chapter 6 . 9/10/2011
I loved this chapter (maybe not so much as the 5th, but that one will be difficult to top) and I wouldn't object at reading the second part.

I think you -wrote- Sweet!Jesse ... Maybe not our average Sweet!Jesse, but I liked this one, too. I just love how you start with something of the show and go elsewhere but keeping the characters real.

You did very good with Rachel, reading him and chosing not to listen to the tape (why ? but why couldn't that happen in Glee ?) so she could keep Jesse, and thinking her dads were enough.

Jesse was great, too. Doing something for Shelby, but not wanting to, changing his mind... And being scared that Rachel is the one who will want to go, that's a nice change, I think, and you wrote it well.

So yeah, basically, I wouldn't mind you posting here a second part of this one ! (and if you ever write a sequel to Throwdown, well, you know where I am)
WizardofallGenres chapter 6 . 9/10/2011
Keep going! This story is amazing, and I personally don't think that people will care if you break the one-shot streak and you go for a two-shot on this one.
northstar61 chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
I suppose I could just say I was completely blown away by this, and leave it at that. But I can't ever be that succinct with your stuff. It's so good it demands commentary. :)

You paint a vivid picture of Rachel's rising panic at being forced down a path she's not yet ready for. In spite of her expressed wish to know who her mother is, I think a part of her believed it would take a long time to find anything of relevance out, so she'd have more than just a few days to prepare for whatever the fallout might be.

She's so attuned to Jesse here that she immediately recognizes something isn't quite right in his behaviour. The image of a demon lurking behind his eyes was downright chilling. (As an aside, if this is what happens when you try to write sweet!Jesse, I'd be somewhat afraid to see the results of you attempting creepy!Jesse, LOL!)

Yes, Rachel would somehow be drawn to Jesse's rarely displayed imperfections. They would humanize him, allowing her to feel more comfortable revealing her own flaws and insecurities.

A shiver ran through me as Rachel deduced the meaning of Jesse's kiss. At that moment, he'd closed himself off to her - as much as he was capable of - in an effort to stage a clean break. Thankfully, she was far too adept at reading him, and that flinch gave her ample evidence that much more was going on than she was privy to. Thank goodness she had the presence of mind to keep trying until she managed to pierce through his defenses and find the words to reverse the goodbye.

Rachel's dads showing up was unexpected, and their initial wariness of Jesse's tone made me wonder if they'd end up destroying the re-connection Rachel was just beginning to forge. Her making the choice to hold them at bay as she strove to reach Jesse made me breathe a sigh of relief.

OMG, you gave me desperate!Jesse, who turned into the most compelling of characters. I was riveted as he clung to Rachel, as if she were a life preserver thrown to a drowning man. Loved her figuring out that he was trying to give her a clue, and that she ultimately was able to say what he needed to hear.

Finally, Rachel put the pieces together about the tape, and realized that Jesse had planted it. I was glad to have one of the biggest lies of their relationship exposed.

"I lost my heart the moment I heard you sing." - A simple truth, simply stated. Beautiful.

It was gratifying to have the Berry men be so open about the rationale behind the contract, and it made perfect sense. Shelby certainly is no longer flighty, and Rachel may need protection from her now, more than ever. What a telling moment it was when Rachel decided to ignore the little voice, in favour of ensuring that Jesse stayed with her.

While I have no idea how Hiram and Leroy might be able to protect Jesse from Shelby's wrath, I appreciate that they care for him enough to try.

Can I say I was surprised that her dads didn't call Jesse out on his use of the f bomb? ;)

You wrote another first time for them, and I was completely awed at how different in tone and feel you made it. The one in the initial one-shot came from a happier place, and there was a much lighter feel to it. This one was raw and desperate and wounded, and filled with such depth of emotion that it was almost overwhelming. I adored Rachel taking the lead, and convincing Jesse that she wanted to be with him in spite of what she'd just found out. The sex scene was hot and passionate, and deeply moving at the same time. I swear you're an absolute genius.

Him asking her not to go. Admitting he couldn't live without her. Her re-introducing herself, in an echo of their earlier conversation. Their admitting to belonging to each other. There were so many incredible moments in this. I could go on listing them all, but I'd end up quoting the rest of the story back to you. :)

I think this is the only time I've ever read of Jesse getting a hickey, and I must admit that it was kind of a turn-on. :)

I agree with Rachel that this would have been the first time Jesse gave himself to someone completely, and her awareness that he had to be able to get to that point - since she couldn't separate the emotional from the physical - was spot on.

"I'm going to marry you someday," he said quietly. - So much beauty in this one, understated line. It made my heart melt, as did her easy acceptance of his declaration. There's a reason this collection of one-shots is called 'Inevitability'.

And you ended it with more heat, when she agreed to let him mark her as he pleased. Loved the fiercely possessive look he gave her at that permission.

While I definitely enjoy cocky, brash, arrogant Jesse, seeing him desperate, pleading and vulnerable spoke to something deep within me.

You can't see it, but I'm giving you a standing ovation!

P.S. I have to admit that I kept expecting the dads to interrupt at any moment. Our two lovers were very bold...
AlexisLovesGlee chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
I know I probably say this every time you post a new chapter, but this is the best one yet. :) Seriously, it was so raw and emotional. I feel like I was seeing into Jesse's soul. Everyone writes and rewrites this episode from Rachel's POV, but you managed to give Jesse a whole new level of depth here. I loved seeing him so vulnerable to Rachel. You should definitely make it a two-shot. :)

And also, there has been a huge lack of St. Berry stories lately! With school starting up again, I expected people to be busy, but there are so many fewer stories being updated than I expected.

I was totally psyched to get the message that you updated this, because you're definitely one of the best St. Berry authors here. Please update the rest of your stories too! :(
Guest chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
HEll TO THE YES !111

auhaes23 chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
I loved it so ! And I'm looking forward to reading the next part !
kezztip chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
"As he pulled away, her dark, searching gaze shifted across his face, seeking a foothold, a crack, the faintest hint of a rough edge onto which she could catch hold against the smoothness of his mask. Her eyes slid like fingers on glass, scrabbling in vain. She could see the regret and the darker shadow it masked, but she could not touch it." You have the most amazing way with metaphor and simile and I think it came out strongest in this chapter. This was one of the best places in Season 1 to stage a rewrite - if Rachel had just refused to let Jesse leave that day, to not listen to the tape, she would have been spared so much heartache. I also like the reasoning of Rachel's fathers re the contract they had with Shelby. I have never read more compelling reasons for that rather harsh measure in a fanfic before, and it was quite convincing. So glad this is just part 1, looking forward to part 2.
Elle Loves Glee chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
I LOVE how you you are writing these two. I much prefer you writing Jesse and Rachel to the actual writers on the show from season 1. Can't wait to see what happens next if you carry this on to a two shot and what other fixes you can do to the other episodes in S1.
The Fluff Queen chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
I couldn't love this more if I tried - and I'm like obsessed with this smutty rewrite (sort of?) of season 1.

I don't think people are going to be against a two-shot (we need more St. Berry sex and fluff around, especially given that the Finchel show is like 11 days away). I know I'd love to read the next part - I was about to beg for a sequel anyway.

You write both Jesse and Rachel so realistically... I envy you for being able to write angst and smut (I'm too fluffy a girl to write angst, and as someone who doesn't speak English as a first language I'm not secure enough in my writing to try my hand on smut). But it's the good kind of envy, I promise. Great chapter - off to read it all over again!

Oh, and northstar is finally back from her vacation (thank God). I miss AmyLeigh though, and Original Groffette :(
LaurenBrogs89 chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
I love how you have managed to turn around this moment. I'm always amazed at how realistic your writing is.

I'm definately good with a two-shot, any and all st berry loving is good on my part. Although I do think this is gorgeous as it is xxx
BriyerRose chapter 6 . 9/8/2011
Loved this one and I really want to read the second part because I really want to know what Hiram and Leroy do to Shelby! I loved the spin you did on this so I'm curious to see what jappens next! Please update again soon!

The lemon was hot too! ;-)
northstar61 chapter 5 . 9/8/2011
Told you I'd review this eventually. ;) (And what does it say about how much I paid attention to the first half of S1 that I didn't even remember that one of the episodes had been called Throwdown?) But I digress...

Although I've loved all of your fixes, there was something about this one that completely captivated me - and there wasn't even any St. Berry sex! I'm sure part of it has to do with my love of the clandestine, which you fed so very well here.

Yes, Rachel has definitely found a far better guy. I can totally understand her reluctance to reveal his identity to her teammates, however, and it's leading to an awful lot of unpleasantness for her.

I enjoyed getting the insight into Rachel's thoughts about her kiss with Finn, but have to admit to feeling sorry that her previous experience was so limited that she thought of it as such an erotic encounter. Thank goodness she now has someone in her life who can show her what true eroticism is. ;)

I also liked your explanation of why Rachel was willing to put up with Finn as her male lead, especially as it related to Puck's suitability for the role. It made perfect sense.

Let me just say that I was wishing right along with Rachel. She and Jesse in the same choir, singing duets, would be a dream come true.

"Rachel had had a taste of real charm and Finn just didn't have the knack for it." - ICAM!

Let me just tell you how much I loved those text messages, which let me know that Jesse was close enough to be observing everything that was going on. His comments, short and succinct, were spot on. And I simply love bold, brazen Jesse, who's intent on tempting his girlfriend. :)

It's so true that Rachel has never been the sole focus of someone else's attention before. Finn definitely never looked at her the way Jesse does, and she was *never* the most important thing in his world. The contrast between Jesse asking her if she wanted to talk, and the fact that Finn had never done that, either, was powerful, and went to the heart of why Jesse is so very right for her.

"Shelby would kick a pregnant girl off the team and castrate the guy who knocked her up." - Will doesn't exactly have that luxury, given that ND barely meets the threshold to compete as it is.

I love the way Jesse is respectful of Rachel's decision not to have sex, but that he continues to touch her in such a way that it's making her want to let him be her first. (Just exactly how she's able to resist him is an entirely different topic of conversation...)

Yeah, Will won't ever be on top of the drama that is Glee Club. I thought you explained his rationale regarding the club very well - wanting it to help teach the kids various lessons, but *needing* to win, so that it wouldn't get disbanded. Which shows where his heart truly lies in the matter. It was also revealing to see how little he truly understands Rachel. Clearly, she's perfected her show face.

The segment where Will observed Rachel and Jesse was fascinating. Will trying to figure out if Jesse went to McKinley, and what his relationship to Rachel was - and failing at both - led to flashes of insight, but ultimately, left the choir director with a lot of unanswered questions. He certainly found out how wrong he was about Rachel in several areas, however.

The moment where Jesse's eyes locked with Will's? Priceless. I loved the fact that Jesse obviously knew for some time that he and Rachel were being watched, and that he made sure Will knew it, too. The contrast in the way Jesse looked at Rachel and at her teacher was brilliantly scripted.

Let me say that I practically cheered out loud when those familiar arms closed around Rachel's waist as Quinn was about to launch into her verbal attack. I adored the way Jesse got the best of Quinn, especially when he urged her to ask Finn if he'd ever kissed Rachel. The fact that he knew the answer demonstrated the honesty and trust that exist between him and his girlfriend. Also loved Jesse's comeback that was equal parts put-down of Quinn and defense of Rachel. And his "I'm the leader of Vocal Adrenaline" as the ultimate check-mate was inspired.

"Absolutely not. I'm devious and conniving and full of myself." Finn may be a good guy (although I personally think that's up for debate), whereas Jesse is anything but. Yet, he's tender and sweet and loving with Rachel, which is what counts. All his other qualities serve to make him the compelling person he is.

That last paragraph, where you describe the change in Jesse's face as he looks at Rachel, was absolutely exquisite. (And I could envision it perfectly, too.)

All I can say is that this will be on my "to be re-read many, many times" list. :)
Binx23 chapter 4 . 9/3/2011
YES! Now this is the four that I want to see in New York. Rachel, Kurt, Blaine and JESSE! Finn could suck eggs for all I care. I remember watching New York for the first time and was absolutely glowing in happiness when Hummelberry was basically canonized (they already were, but still!). And then they talked about moving to NY together with Blaine and I was like, Dear God, you do listen to prayers after all. I've been shipping Rachel and Kurt as friends since the get go, and when that happened and with Blaine tagging along, I was... Just. So. Happy... then I heard Finn say that he'd go with them and I was... Just. So. Pissed. Finn does not belong in NY and I never, for even one moment, think that he'd fit in there like Rachel and Kurt and Blaine will. Those 3 are my OTP of friendship, Klainchel(?), and since I'm a big ol' St. Berry fan too, then it's all sunshine and unicorns right? Ryan Murphy made the New York episode to set up the spin-off with Rachel and Kurt (and in extension, Blaine) in NY. I was happy when I found out (not so much with Finn along, though) and am now devastated that that might not pull through after all... le creys. At least you gave me this to comfort myself with...
A Smiling Cat chapter 5 . 8/23/2011
Really nice stories, I liked them all ... But this last one is definitely my favourite ! I loved this part of the St Berry relationship. And I admit I laughed as Will seeing them, then understanding. And Jesses's "I'm the leader of Vocal Adrenaline. Check and mate." Was great ! Rachel and Jesse were so cute in this one, I really liked it !
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