|Reviews for Inevitability|
| auhaes23 chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
I loved it so ! And I'm looking forward to reading the next part !
| kezztip chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
"As he pulled away, her dark, searching gaze shifted across his face, seeking a foothold, a crack, the faintest hint of a rough edge onto which she could catch hold against the smoothness of his mask. Her eyes slid like fingers on glass, scrabbling in vain. She could see the regret and the darker shadow it masked, but she could not touch it." You have the most amazing way with metaphor and simile and I think it came out strongest in this chapter. This was one of the best places in Season 1 to stage a rewrite - if Rachel had just refused to let Jesse leave that day, to not listen to the tape, she would have been spared so much heartache. I also like the reasoning of Rachel's fathers re the contract they had with Shelby. I have never read more compelling reasons for that rather harsh measure in a fanfic before, and it was quite convincing. So glad this is just part 1, looking forward to part 2.
| Elle Loves Glee chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
I LOVE how you you are writing these two. I much prefer you writing Jesse and Rachel to the actual writers on the show from season 1. Can't wait to see what happens next if you carry this on to a two shot and what other fixes you can do to the other episodes in S1.
| The Fluff Queen chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
I couldn't love this more if I tried - and I'm like obsessed with this smutty rewrite (sort of?) of season 1.
I don't think people are going to be against a two-shot (we need more St. Berry sex and fluff around, especially given that the Finchel show is like 11 days away). I know I'd love to read the next part - I was about to beg for a sequel anyway.
You write both Jesse and Rachel so realistically... I envy you for being able to write angst and smut (I'm too fluffy a girl to write angst, and as someone who doesn't speak English as a first language I'm not secure enough in my writing to try my hand on smut). But it's the good kind of envy, I promise. Great chapter - off to read it all over again!
Oh, and northstar is finally back from her vacation (thank God). I miss AmyLeigh though, and Original Groffette :(
| LaurenBrogs89 chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
I love how you have managed to turn around this moment. I'm always amazed at how realistic your writing is.
I'm definately good with a two-shot, any and all st berry loving is good on my part. Although I do think this is gorgeous as it is xxx
| BriyerRose chapter 6 . 9/8/2011
Loved this one and I really want to read the second part because I really want to know what Hiram and Leroy do to Shelby! I loved the spin you did on this so I'm curious to see what jappens next! Please update again soon!
The lemon was hot too! ;-)
| northstar61 chapter 5 . 9/8/2011
Told you I'd review this eventually. ;) (And what does it say about how much I paid attention to the first half of S1 that I didn't even remember that one of the episodes had been called Throwdown?) But I digress...
Although I've loved all of your fixes, there was something about this one that completely captivated me - and there wasn't even any St. Berry sex! I'm sure part of it has to do with my love of the clandestine, which you fed so very well here.
Yes, Rachel has definitely found a far better guy. I can totally understand her reluctance to reveal his identity to her teammates, however, and it's leading to an awful lot of unpleasantness for her.
I enjoyed getting the insight into Rachel's thoughts about her kiss with Finn, but have to admit to feeling sorry that her previous experience was so limited that she thought of it as such an erotic encounter. Thank goodness she now has someone in her life who can show her what true eroticism is. ;)
I also liked your explanation of why Rachel was willing to put up with Finn as her male lead, especially as it related to Puck's suitability for the role. It made perfect sense.
Let me just say that I was wishing right along with Rachel. She and Jesse in the same choir, singing duets, would be a dream come true.
"Rachel had had a taste of real charm and Finn just didn't have the knack for it." - ICAM!
Let me just tell you how much I loved those text messages, which let me know that Jesse was close enough to be observing everything that was going on. His comments, short and succinct, were spot on. And I simply love bold, brazen Jesse, who's intent on tempting his girlfriend. :)
It's so true that Rachel has never been the sole focus of someone else's attention before. Finn definitely never looked at her the way Jesse does, and she was *never* the most important thing in his world. The contrast between Jesse asking her if she wanted to talk, and the fact that Finn had never done that, either, was powerful, and went to the heart of why Jesse is so very right for her.
"Shelby would kick a pregnant girl off the team and castrate the guy who knocked her up." - Will doesn't exactly have that luxury, given that ND barely meets the threshold to compete as it is.
I love the way Jesse is respectful of Rachel's decision not to have sex, but that he continues to touch her in such a way that it's making her want to let him be her first. (Just exactly how she's able to resist him is an entirely different topic of conversation...)
Yeah, Will won't ever be on top of the drama that is Glee Club. I thought you explained his rationale regarding the club very well - wanting it to help teach the kids various lessons, but *needing* to win, so that it wouldn't get disbanded. Which shows where his heart truly lies in the matter. It was also revealing to see how little he truly understands Rachel. Clearly, she's perfected her show face.
The segment where Will observed Rachel and Jesse was fascinating. Will trying to figure out if Jesse went to McKinley, and what his relationship to Rachel was - and failing at both - led to flashes of insight, but ultimately, left the choir director with a lot of unanswered questions. He certainly found out how wrong he was about Rachel in several areas, however.
The moment where Jesse's eyes locked with Will's? Priceless. I loved the fact that Jesse obviously knew for some time that he and Rachel were being watched, and that he made sure Will knew it, too. The contrast in the way Jesse looked at Rachel and at her teacher was brilliantly scripted.
Let me say that I practically cheered out loud when those familiar arms closed around Rachel's waist as Quinn was about to launch into her verbal attack. I adored the way Jesse got the best of Quinn, especially when he urged her to ask Finn if he'd ever kissed Rachel. The fact that he knew the answer demonstrated the honesty and trust that exist between him and his girlfriend. Also loved Jesse's comeback that was equal parts put-down of Quinn and defense of Rachel. And his "I'm the leader of Vocal Adrenaline" as the ultimate check-mate was inspired.
"Absolutely not. I'm devious and conniving and full of myself." Finn may be a good guy (although I personally think that's up for debate), whereas Jesse is anything but. Yet, he's tender and sweet and loving with Rachel, which is what counts. All his other qualities serve to make him the compelling person he is.
That last paragraph, where you describe the change in Jesse's face as he looks at Rachel, was absolutely exquisite. (And I could envision it perfectly, too.)
All I can say is that this will be on my "to be re-read many, many times" list. :)
| Binx23 chapter 4 . 9/3/2011
YES! Now this is the four that I want to see in New York. Rachel, Kurt, Blaine and JESSE! Finn could suck eggs for all I care. I remember watching New York for the first time and was absolutely glowing in happiness when Hummelberry was basically canonized (they already were, but still!). And then they talked about moving to NY together with Blaine and I was like, Dear God, you do listen to prayers after all. I've been shipping Rachel and Kurt as friends since the get go, and when that happened and with Blaine tagging along, I was... Just. So. Happy... then I heard Finn say that he'd go with them and I was... Just. So. Pissed. Finn does not belong in NY and I never, for even one moment, think that he'd fit in there like Rachel and Kurt and Blaine will. Those 3 are my OTP of friendship, Klainchel(?), and since I'm a big ol' St. Berry fan too, then it's all sunshine and unicorns right? Ryan Murphy made the New York episode to set up the spin-off with Rachel and Kurt (and in extension, Blaine) in NY. I was happy when I found out (not so much with Finn along, though) and am now devastated that that might not pull through after all... le creys. At least you gave me this to comfort myself with...
| A Smiling Cat chapter 5 . 8/23/2011
Really nice stories, I liked them all ... But this last one is definitely my favourite ! I loved this part of the St Berry relationship. And I admit I laughed as Will seeing them, then understanding. And Jesses's "I'm the leader of Vocal Adrenaline. Check and mate." Was great ! Rachel and Jesse were so cute in this one, I really liked it !
| WizardofallGenres chapter 5 . 8/22/2011
These one-shots are amazing! Seriously...
I can't wait for the next update! Hanging on your every word!
| ladylookslikeadude chapter 5 . 8/20/2011
Haha, that was freaking amazing! I loved how you merged the parts of Jesse's personality, his cold, manipulative side and his warm, loving side. I also liked how you switched perspectives like that, letting us see how someone else would view the situation. Again, very awesome.
| auhaes23 chapter 5 . 8/19/2011
Well, what can I say ? Just perfect, again ! And the last time your wrote a futurefic, I Loved it, so I'm looking forward
| MezMaroon8 chapter 2 . 8/19/2011
These fixes are little delicious bits of awesome
| matchbookjealousy chapter 5 . 8/19/2011
still loving this! :D
i liked how honest jesse was about being stuck up and rude to people. haha!
can't wait to see what happens next, cris! update again soon! :) *hugs rachel and jesse*
| northstar61 chapter 3 . 8/13/2011
I read this a long time ago - and have re-read it several times since, but somehow never got around to reviewing it. Should I start out by saying how much I loved it? Well, I did. I would have given anything for Rachel's bout with laryngitis to play out this way.
Trust Rachel to invade Jesse's thoughts even when he's lounging poolside thousands of miles from her. Of course, given their recent fight, the separation would weigh on his mind, but she's affecting him far beyond anything he ever imagined. I could definitely picture him having regrets about the way he'd left, and debating how to deal with them.
Jesse's teammates have been with him a long time, so it's not surprising that Andrea was able to see right through him.
"If Rachel were here, he thought idly, she'd be in the water by now." - Such a small detail, but it provides wonderful insight into the ways in which Rachel is different from the people Jesse's been surrounded with for years. She's changing him, and he doesn't know quite how to react.
It must have been so frustrating for Rachel not to be able to speak when Jesse called her, and equally frustrating for him to be given the run-around by Finn. (As an aside - just like Jesse, I don't understand what Rachel sees in Finn, either!) I loved the possessiveness he felt while talking to Finn, and I completely understand Jesse's fear that Rachel might ultimately choose his rival.
"a juxtaposition of brash confidence and bruising anxiety" - What a brilliant yet succinct description of Rachel. It captures the two seemingly contradictory aspects of her personality.
Finally, Jacob's blog ends up being useful for something. ;) How sweet and caring of Jesse to research laryngitis so that he'd know exactly what Rachel was dealing with, and how to help her handle it. He *is* the only one who would truly understand the ultimate ramifications of her not getting her voice back.
"Rachel's brown eyes shone with a tender light he'd never seen before, and it warmed the hesitant spot inside him that was falling deeper in love with her each day." - In this moment, I think she, maybe for the first time, begins to trust in the depth of his feelings for her. His abandoning his vacation to fly back and ensure she was alright is the kind of gesture I suspect no boy would ever have performed for her before. And the faith and trust he would have seen in her eyes would have affected him in ways he never thought possible.
I grinned in approval at Jesse 'letting it slip' that he'd called Finn, and that Rachel's ex hadn't been at all helpful, even though he was aware of exactly what she was suffering from. Any time Jesse can score points at Finn's expense, I do a little happy dance. :)
Aw, Rachel wore her dad's sweater to school so that she'd have that measure of comfort while feeling sick. How sweet! As was Jesse's inner vow that he wouldn't leave Rachel until she was okay, one way or the other.
Ah, the delight of the sexual tension when Jesse saw Rachel in her sleepwear. She's so completely innocent about her body, and because of the way she's been bullied and insulted, she doesn't see herself the way Jesse does - as someone who's absolutely gorgeous, both inside and out.
Loved Jesse sharing the story of his broken leg. Not only was it a way for him to reassure Rachel that it's possible to come back as good as new from an injury, but I enjoyed the insight it provided into his childhood.
Jesse's reaction to being in bed with a barely clad Rachel was predictable - her reaction when she discovered his 'problem' was anything but. I had to smile at her calm acceptance of the situation, and at her eagerness to do something about it. Rachel Berry is no prude, as long as she's with the right boy. And, given my love of all things clandestine, the idea that Jesse knew something about Rachel that no one else did, and that they've been doing all sorts of things that would stun her teammates if they knew, fed that particular obsession quite nicely.
Your sex scenes are always hot, and this one was no exception. I always envision them being perfectly in sync, whether it be singing, dancing, or making love. Their bodies are meant for each other.
Jesse fantasizing about he and Rachel having a future together made my heart melt, as did his telling her he loved her with more meaning than ever before. He's completely under her spell, and although he knows he has to leave her soon, I'll cling stubbornly to the possibility of their happily ever after - even if it takes them some time to get there.
And, finally, this - "If Rachel was no longer able to sing, he wouldn't leave her. Her voice was marvelous, but that wasn't why he loved her." Wow! Just beautiful. (Kind of like the entire chapter.)