|Reviews for Showdown|
| crayolacthulu chapter 1 . 11/27/2013
So under technicality, Wright won...
that sneaky basterd. X)
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/27/2012
Interesting story. Good interaction between student and teacher, and I guess, which character is which depends on which side of the table one is viewing the game from. This almost seems like a graduation/final exam scenario for Apollo. It seems as if Phoenix is trying to test and push him one more time to see if Apollo can learn and move beyond a lucky bluffer of an attorney.
Yet, despite all the good details and plot and scene-building of this story, I can't help but think there's one thing off at the end:
The last game/hand. I believe a card is missing or has never been mentioned what the card is. This started off with the flop. You note that "Wright once more flipped over the top three cards" and only have Apollo notice the Ace of Hearts and Jack of Diamonds ("it's the Ace of Hearts, and Jack of Diamonds"). Then more betting and/or bluffing (just general poker mind games) ensue and then the turn is revealed: "The Ten of Clubs… it doesn't help me at all, really." Then more poker and Wright vs Justice mind games follow ending with the river card being put down: "It's… It's the Ace of Spades!"
Granted, both players ended up with a full house, but before that tidbit is revealed you note what Apollo sees on the table: "and on the table lay two Aces, a Jack, and a Ten". So while the rest of the story wraps up nicely, especially with the special arrangements Apollo makes before leaving, this last hand sticks out to me and bugs me due to the missing card. I still enjoyed the story, but with the level of detail of the mind game/battle of wits and/or bluffs between Apollo and Phoenix, every detail has become important. Especially the detail of one card. So I don't know how much would change, if anything, to include the detail of the missing card, but if said card is a worthless card, it should be pointed out. Actually, thinking on it, given the way Apollo's trying to work out the last hand, the missing detail of this card is unfortunate because that unravels (if not unravels then weakens significantly) the details/written thought processes of Apollo as he comes to his game-ending conclusion. To sum up: Apollo's entire train of thought is off because he has only
| Jack Falconer chapter 1 . 9/27/2012
Sorry about my previous review. I was planning on logging in for it and finishing it, but I accidentally submitted it before doing either (due to a quirk of my laptop's keyboard/keyboard's mousepad).
Yet in case my previous review didn't go through or something, I'll go over the issue I noticed along with a brief recap of what I was trying to get at in my previous review:
In a scenario where every detail is important, and where you've been doing a good job of writing out Apollo's thought processes, leaving out one of the five cards from the last hand throws a wrench into your ending. Since every detail, every card, is important and could sway the outcome (as much as you decide it does), then Apollo's reasoning at the end of the last hand needs to be changed to account for all five community cards for a round of Texas Hold-'em. Even though the end result can be the same as you've written, Apollo just needs to have his reasoning reflect consideration for five community cards, one of which you accidentally left out as far as I can tell (with the community cards mentioned in the last hand being two Aces, a Jack, and a Ten). Consider these two sentences you've used:
The ten was worthless to him… but with the last ace, he'd turned his two pair into a Full House. However, he couldn't ignore the fact that there were now two aces, a jack, and a ten on the table- cards that were also being used by his opponent, perhaps even to make a better hand than his.
This thought-process is well-written, but if Apollo considers the possibility of a card worthless to him possibly helping Phoenix make a better hand, then wouldn't he also consider all five cards instead of just four?
Sidenote: Correct me if I'm wrong, but for the last hand, at the flop I read Ace of Hearts and Jack of Diamonds. Then at the turn I read Ten of Clubs, and finally at the river, I read Ace of Spades. I've tried going through that last hand a couple of times, and I do notice that you've written that Phoenix puts down three cards for the flop, but I only see two mentioned.
Anyway, good story. I enjoyed it. I have no idea if my previous review will show up as an anonymous review or what since my keyboard quirked out on me, but I just wanted to try to finish my point/get my point across. I think your story is well written but is unfortunately missing a crucial detail at the end that weakens the writing/plot surrounding the last hand.
And hmm, this story's been out for over a year, I wonder if anyone else ever noticed or if I'm just missing something or am just repeating something someone else already brought up. Oh well, once again, good story.
| Shaed Knightwing chapter 1 . 1/25/2012
This was a fantastic story. I was completely drawn in. :) I can say right now that it'll be a story that I'm likely to read over again. Good work!
| Rugiku chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
You have impresssive writing skills for a user on this site.
I will be pleased to see another story like this.
| Spadework2 chapter 1 . 6/6/2011
I know that you are not a usual Ace Attorney Fic writer but that was great. If you decide to make more, I'll look forward to reading them.
| Kongu123 chapter 1 . 6/6/2011
I like it. While I am loath to sound like a teenager again... make more!