|Reviews for Let Me Be Your Hero|
| gabelou1991 chapter 1 . 2/12/2016
| theJediSaiyan chapter 1 . 11/8/2015
i was listening to that song while reading this, and it perfect
| serenityselena chapter 1 . 5/22/2012
interesting story _
| TheMasenkoMan chapter 1 . 1/28/2012
Hi... I am a big fan of "Everyone has Secrets", but I wanted to tell you that this fic breaks the rules by containing musical lyrics owned by another person. If you don't edit the lyrics out, I will reluctantly have to report this fic...
| Staravia2.0 chapter 1 . 12/6/2011
is this it or r u going to add more to it? but any way ur a wonderful writer!
| Kakarot Son chapter 1 . 9/19/2011
Great story and what a great song to put it to?
Honestly when I saw this song in the summary I immediately read it. This certainly lives up to my expectations.
The portray of GOhan and Videl were terrific, however Cell could have been done better.
Other than that and a few tiny accidental mistakes; great job with the one-shot! I hope you do something like this again :D
| WineIXI chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
Yeah u have a gift for writing. Good plots and not too wordy like some authors.
| SierraLarson chapter 1 . 6/12/2011
Awww! That was such a cute story! It was just so unbelievably cute and romantic!
| lazybum131 chapter 1 . 6/7/2011
A good short story! Good enough that I really hope you go through it to edit out the mistakes and smooth over the awkward parts.
I went through the first bit of it as an example, and to be honest your first scene had the least number of mistakes and awkward sentences.
The young, black-haired girl let a sigh escape her lips as she walked alongside her father towards the door. It had only taken her father a few seconds to laugh off her obvious discomfort. "My baby girl has no reason to be sad," he had boomed to his new followers that had congregated around the pair as soon as they stepped out of their home. "Her father just saved the world!"
The fans laughed along with him as they entered the restaurant already crowded with celebrators. Videl dared a quick glance up at her father. The boastful grin he had gotten after the World Martial Arts Tournament was plastered to his face. She could have sworn it had gotten even more arrogant—as impossible as that would seem.
As they walked together through the doors, silence swept across the restaurant. Videl, feeling that all eyes were on them, looked up to see the wide eyes of the other customers, all except from a table in the far corner, just within the edge of her eye. Those eyes looked wearily—sullen. This group didn't look at her father admiringly the way everyone else did, and when the cheering started, they turned away and talked amongst themselves.
As the night went on, Videl found she increasingly wished she’d been given the option to stay at home. She gravitated toward the dance floor. The different colored lights flashed as she looked around. The fast-paced music had customers dancing like there was no tomorrow. She stole another glace at the far corner table. Sometimes they caught her looking and she’d quickly look away. This time they were poking fun at the young boy in the group. He was about her age with jet-black hair and eyes of coal to match. As he sighed from the teasing, she turned away to look for something else that could hold her attention.
The voice was so sudden, catching her by surprise from behind. She figured it was a reporter—they had been filtering in throughout the night as word spread her father was here—or another random stranger that wanted to talk to her because of her father.
A stranger, that part was right, but there was no camera or microphone shoved up her face when she turned around, and it didn’t look like one of her dad’s fans. It was the coal-eyed boy from the table.
"Would you mind… Well I mean… Would you like to dance?"
Videl smiled hearing the nervousness in his voice. It was the first time that night that someone was paying attention to her because it was her, Videl, not the hero's daughter.
Just as they were about to start dancing to the music, it slowed down. She looked around and saw the once crazy dancers calm as they swayed with their partner. Videl looked back to the boy. His head was slightly lowered, and in the light she could make out the rosy tint that had found its way onto his cheeks. She smiled softly putting her arms around his neck. Nervously, he placed his hands on her waist. She made a note to herself that his hands were sweaty. There was a wolf whistle that surprisingly came from the corner table, and from the grins on their faces, either from the bald man or the black-haired, scar-faced one. Their actions caused the boy to look down embarrassed again. It was kind of cute. When he looked up, she offered him a soft smile. One he returned.
"You guys in the corner," she said glancing over at the watching adults. "You all don't look like you're out celebrating. You don't seem all that happy."
| sibbyhylands chapter 1 . 6/7/2011
nice atory-very cute
| Irish Shift chapter 1 . 6/7/2011
great story fight scene was a little short for my taste but I suck at writing fight scenes myself so I really have no room to talk but other than that you have a killer story on your hands with a great plot line to boot but then again I suppose I shouldn't expect anything less from one of the best authors I know on keep up the good work Kit Ja Ne
| Dr. Blue22 chapter 1 . 6/6/2011
great story. adorable and there needs to be more stories where gohan and videl meet after the cell games like this its really great. and man first his left arm now his right, hes probably going to have twin scars on each shoulder lolol. Update your other stories please! they're great as well as this one! maybe you can turn this into a longer story? with chapters and the goods. :D
| Hmrtaylor chapter 1 . 6/6/2011
awesome...Love your stories Kitsune
| utaharu chapter 1 . 6/6/2011
I'm going to need a moment... Anyway, nice story.