Reviews for VIP : The Villain Improvement Program
Sith Lord chapter 23 . 4/11
Oh, come on! It's been months if not a year! This is the best story I've read! I need you to continue! Does the Wicked Wench catch up with the Dark Wind? Is it Melody as a mermaid saving Hook in his dream (which turns out to be a vision of the not-too-distant future in the battle against the Darkwind)? Will the villains get the crystal pieces and get their own happily ever after? Who is this mystery villain? Come on, I need answers!
W. Stock chapter 1 . 4/5
As I told you, here is my first review, after the "Mad as a March Hare" reviews and the April 1 joke of not telling you what year said April reviews would be in.

I have not read The Trampled Rose, but I do not feel too alienated. I observe that you certainly aren't waiting long to throw us into the action. You've set up the story well, and it seems like a very amusing take on the villains' side of things much as Heddwyn was doing in a much more serious take in Conscience & Law.

I can't claim to have experienced any real side-splitters just yet, but the wit is well-balanced with the action. Hook and Jafar make an amusing duo to pair off. Now, let us see what Hook's plan truly is...
Guest chapter 23 . 1/1
My friend, you can't quit. It's been months now, and not a single sign of progress. Does the Wicked Wench take a beating from the Darkwind? Is Melody the girl from Hook's dream? Who is the mysterious figure orchestrating the scenes behind the curtain regarding the crystal shards? And why, oh why, did they give Deadpool Baraka blades in XMEN ORIGINS? PLEASE CONTINUE THIS STORY!
AngelOfDarkness1959 chapter 23 . 6/2/2014
A thousand pardons for neglecting your stories, March Hare. I've just finished my first year of college, and it didn't leave me much time for reviewing.

I like the direction this has gone in, and that Melody's "kidnapping" is closer to what happened in her movie.

All those villains in one ship... methinks the peace won't last very long. Especially with Hook running the asylum.

And might this Miss Miranda Wright be the mysterious woman from Hook's dream way back? I ask because I don't recognize the name from any other property.

I will continue to eagerly anticipate updates, but I will also understand if you do eventually stop. I certainly know what it's like to lose inspiration.

-Angel
anon chapter 2 . 3/29/2014
Mar 28Well you ain't gonna finish it givin a workin man a review of the dictionary now, are ya?

Say, what is your read on this Crimea business. Is Putin crazy or smarter than all of us?
Mar 28The rest is silence.
Mar 28I guess that is an excellent summary.
anon chapter 1 . 3/26/2014
Batman & Robin 4 stars on Netflix recently and stopping the film to tell me "I can't BELIEVE people didn't like this!" If you want a lengthy review by me, google I Read The Casual Vacancy Kirksbooks or I Read The Book Thief which I'm doing now.

Perhaps it is for the girls, but speaking as a proud lover of Ella Enchanted, Anne of Green Gables, and The Secret Garden... well, shame to the nth degree is as wasted as guilt and anger combined. Let's face it.
Mar 21In your father's defence, I loved Batman Forever. When I was eight.
I guess it was not much of a leap for me, they still played Adam West Batman on TV Sunday afternoon. I never did learn how Batman and Robin escaped Penguin's vacuum tank sucking out all the oxygen.

The Book Thief? Hell yeah, if the book is even half as good as the film I would love to read a review of - what the hell...?

Oh my God, did you review every paragraph of the novel individually?

This is two and a half thousand words long, dude! You've only coved the prologue!
Mar 21That's why he liked it so much, because he grew up watching the Adam West show which wasn't much of a difference from Lost in Space and Gilligan's Island. I remember telling him about how terrible the movie was, (Me: It opens with Robin saying "I want a car, chicks dig the car" and Batman replying, "This is why Superman works alone". And Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Mr. Freeze, who's constantly making ice puns! Dad: Sounds great!)

The only thing that did make him hesitant was the fact that George Clooney was in it. As a card-carrying Libertarian, he hates the man for insulting Charlton Heston. When I mentioned he would have a bat mask covering up his face half the time, he said "They should stick a muzzle on him,"

Honestly, I'm surprised you liked The Book Thief movie so much, because from what I've read, it doesn't seem like it would translate well to a movie, due to how much it relies on the writing and idiosyncratic asides. And I have in fact covered the prologue and half of Part One. I have considered stopping the reviews, though, not because of how long it will take me but because I finished writing the review for Part One but it just devolved into me caps-locking cheers at Liesel's beatdown of the two boys, and then I gave away too much personal information about myself. I wanted to write it as a combination of literary analysis the joy of reading and I honestly don't think it's postable.
Mar 21There's also an immature rant about authority figures but I can just delete that entirely. I don't know what the hell can be done about the rest.
Mar 22A combination of analysis and the joy of reading. I begin to see the idea now. Almost like a running commentary on the book while reading it, like playing a DVD with the directors commentary on.

The general idea has merit, but to work I think to work the focus has to be on entertainment. The audience, your audience, is being entertained by reading how you are entertained by this book. And the joy you are experiencing reading it along with the mystery of not knowing how it will end. Attempting a proper literary analysis at the same time, without reading the entire book and having a complete picture - I don't think its going to work. Plus, who is the audience meant to be? The ones who would be interested in the analysis would be put off by the gimmick and the ones who enjoy the gimmick are put off by the big words like idiosyncratic.

idiosyncratic. meh, I'm not even going to bother looking it up. It's been a long day.

But, you've already started this experiment so you might as well finish it and find out who does read it and what for. Not me though. Read a review longer than the book itself? I might as well find the book. I'll wait until you've finished the entire thing and you can give me a 200 word summary.

...

And yes, the movie was very, very excellent. I did know there was a book.
Mar 22did not know there was a book, I should say.
19h ago*** A STRANGE WORD ***
Kommunist

*** A KEY WORD ***
Imagined

*** A DEFINITION ***
Watschen a good hiding

*** ANOTHER DEFINITION BY W. STOCK ***
of or relating to idiosyncrasy; peculiar or individual.
"she emerged as one of the great idiosyncratic talents of the Nineties"
synonyms:distinctive, individual, individualistic, characteristic, peculiar, typical, special, specific, unique, one-of-a-kind, personal; More

*** A DEFINITION NOT FOUND IN THE DICTIONARY ***
Not leaving: an act of trust and love,
often deciphered by children

*** EXPLANATION OF THE ABBREVIATION ***
It stood for Bund Deutscher Madchen -
Band of German Girls.

***A TRANSLATION OF ROSA HUBERMANN'S ANNOUNCEMENT ***
"What are you assholes looking at?"
19h ago*** A REASSURING ANNOUNCEMENT ***
Please, be calm, despite that previous threat.
I am all bluster -
I am not violent.
I am not malicious.
I am a result.
16h agoA 200 word summary of the damn book. Not the word.
3h agoNo, you said you wanted that when I FINISHED the book, remember?
W. Stock chapter 1 . 3/26/2014
Batman & Robin 4 stars on Netflix recently and stopping the film to tell me "I can't BELIEVE people didn't like this!" If you want a lengthy review by me, google I Read The Casual Vacancy Kirksbooks or I Read The Book Thief which I'm doing now.

Perhaps it is for the girls, but speaking as a proud lover of Ella Enchanted, Anne of Green Gables, and The Secret Garden... well, shame to the nth degree is as wasted as guilt and anger combined. Let's face it.
Mar 21In your father's defence, I loved Batman Forever. When I was eight.
I guess it was not much of a leap for me, they still played Adam West Batman on TV Sunday afternoon. I never did learn how Batman and Robin escaped Penguin's vacuum tank sucking out all the oxygen.

The Book Thief? Hell yeah, if the book is even half as good as the film I would love to read a review of - what the hell...?

Oh my God, did you review every paragraph of the novel individually?

This is two and a half thousand words long, dude! You've only coved the prologue!
Mar 21That's why he liked it so much, because he grew up watching the Adam West show which wasn't much of a difference from Lost in Space and Gilligan's Island. I remember telling him about how terrible the movie was, (Me: It opens with Robin saying "I want a car, chicks dig the car" and Batman replying, "This is why Superman works alone". And Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Mr. Freeze, who's constantly making ice puns! Dad: Sounds great!)

The only thing that did make him hesitant was the fact that George Clooney was in it. As a card-carrying Libertarian, he hates the man for insulting Charlton Heston. When I mentioned he would have a bat mask covering up his face half the time, he said "They should stick a muzzle on him,"

Honestly, I'm surprised you liked The Book Thief movie so much, because from what I've read, it doesn't seem like it would translate well to a movie, due to how much it relies on the writing and idiosyncratic asides. And I have in fact covered the prologue and half of Part One. I have considered stopping the reviews, though, not because of how long it will take me but because I finished writing the review for Part One but it just devolved into me caps-locking cheers at Liesel's beatdown of the two boys, and then I gave away too much personal information about myself. I wanted to write it as a combination of literary analysis the joy of reading and I honestly don't think it's postable.
Mar 21There's also an immature rant about authority figures but I can just delete that entirely. I don't know what the hell can be done about the rest.
Mar 22A combination of analysis and the joy of reading. I begin to see the idea now. Almost like a running commentary on the book while reading it, like playing a DVD with the directors commentary on.

The general idea has merit, but to work I think to work the focus has to be on entertainment. The audience, your audience, is being entertained by reading how you are entertained by this book. And the joy you are experiencing reading it along with the mystery of not knowing how it will end. Attempting a proper literary analysis at the same time, without reading the entire book and having a complete picture - I don't think its going to work. Plus, who is the audience meant to be? The ones who would be interested in the analysis would be put off by the gimmick and the ones who enjoy the gimmick are put off by the big words like idiosyncratic.

idiosyncratic. meh, I'm not even going to bother looking it up. It's been a long day.

But, you've already started this experiment so you might as well finish it and find out who does read it and what for. Not me though. Read a review longer than the book itself? I might as well find the book. I'll wait until you've finished the entire thing and you can give me a 200 word summary.

...

And yes, the movie was very, very excellent. I did know there was a book.
Mar 22did not know there was a book, I should say.
Mar 26*** A STRANGE WORD ***
Kommunist

*** A KEY WORD ***
Imagined

*** A DEFINITION ***
Watschen a good hiding

*** ANOTHER DEFINITION BY W. STOCK ***
of or relating to idiosyncrasy; peculiar or individual.
"she emerged as one of the great idiosyncratic talents of the Nineties"
synonyms:distinctive, individual, individualistic, characteristic, peculiar, typical, special, specific, unique, one-of-a-kind, personal; More

*** A DEFINITION NOT FOUND IN THE DICTIONARY ***
Not leaving: an act of trust and love,
often deciphered by children

*** EXPLANATION OF THE ABBREVIATION ***
It stood for Bund Deutscher Madchen -
Band of German Girls.

***A TRANSLATION OF ROSA HUBERMANN'S ANNOUNCEMENT ***
"What are you assholes looking at?"
Mar 26*** A REASSURING ANNOUNCEMENT ***
Please, be calm, despite that previous threat.
I am all bluster -
I am not violent.
I am not malicious.
I am a result.
21h agoA 200 word summary of the damn book. Not the word.
8h agoNo, you said you wanted that when I FINISHED the book, remember?
Treefreak4 chapter 23 . 3/9/2014
Thank the stars and moons and all manner of celestial bodies I cannot name; AN UPDATE! XXXXXDDDDD
My god; that whip scene was awesome. I especially like how the previously likable Miranda Wright was twisted in a totally believable way, what with dying and all. And I especially like the sheer mix of characters in the crew, and the inclusions of Silver and the Colonel. *singsong voice* he Hor-ned King is a fiiirrrst mate! He's a small obsession of mine, and any fic with him in it is brilliant for me. ;)
Keep going please March, this is immense!

Cheers, Treefreak4. :)
Treefreak4 chapter 22 . 2/22/2014
I am. Quite possibly. Going to die from a planet sized 'SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' overload.
You, most marvellous March, have just been knighted in my 'Favourite authors of all time' hall! Allow me to bow and scrape at your furry feet. ;D o Master of Words!
Seriously. The description of the broken home here is just perfection. Having witnessed a few of those, you've got the feelings bang on. And I must say you have a most excellent brain for including Scroop in this amazing universe; I can totally see him in command of a slave ship.
The most awesomely badass Hook is now a privateer for ARIEL!? Que synapse frying. The Jolly Rodger wrecked by the March Hare causing Hook to pull a HK and strangle him? Giggles all around.
Hook now gets the Wicked Wench/ alternate name for the black pearl? THE SYNAPSES HAVE EXPLODED. CAN YOU NOT FEEL THE AWESOMENESS!?

My dear, this is a masterpiece and has been since chapter one. Don't give up! One of your most sincere fans (me) might have a nervous breakdown if you do. :)

Apologies if any of this seems overly posh, but I've been spending a lot of time writing one of my Insane-English-Gentlemen characters, and he WILL NOT leave me alone! X(
kendramccormick chapter 22 . 12/13/2013
Dear March Hare: This story is epic! I love it! Many of my favorite characters have always been villains. I also love all the different plots and subplots, and the Jafar/Malificent and Hook/Ursula pairings, and that Frollo likes Breaking Benjamin like I do. It's also hilarious, and though it's a bit shocking at times, I love seeing the characters in new ways, like Tigger as a bounty hunter, Aurora/Rose with a dark side, and villains becoming good. But of course, what would it be without that loveable scoundrel the March Hare? I can't wait for more, so please update soon, my friend!
AngelOfDarkness1959 chapter 21 . 11/14/2013
I'm sorry this is so late (and after you were so nice to me in your end notes too). Blame college.
I'm simultaneously relieved and disappointed that there was no Jafar VS Phoebus smackdown. The more I think about it, the more I realize what an awesome idea it was for Phoebus to be friendly(ish) with the villains.
Big Bad Wolf! *jumps up and down* He's huffin', he's puffin', Wolf Daddy's gonna blow you away -!
Ahem. I'll join you in the Pit of Shame.

-Angel
BUBBLYbuttons2me chapter 21 . 11/6/2013
asdfjk; your back! :D I MISSED U SO MUCH ;_: and like always, great chapter :D 3
Treefreak4 chapter 19 . 9/30/2013
Please. I. Beg. You. No, I IMPLORE you, continue this fic for the good of mankind! I can't get over it! Actually, I can't believe I've caught up this late, dammit! The Jafar/Maleficent feels, the awesome Briar Rose transformation, Dr. Facilier's plain epicness (awesomeness on the capoeira, that idea had been bobbing around in my head too :)) Hooks brilliant curses and insults ('towel head' XD) and, of course, THAT LAST BIT BETWEEN EILONWY AND THE HORNED KING! OMG! Possibly the best bit of fic with them I've ever read! From 'Let me explain!' through to 'I am sorry' I could not remove the biggest cheesy grin and more than a few open giggles, I freakin love THK being all smushy! XD Continue or I might die! please?
PhoebeRhae chapter 20 . 5/24/2013
PLEASE...I BEG OF YOU...CONTINUE THIS STORY...PLEEEEEAAASSSSSEEEEE!
I just love everything so muuuuucchhhhh!
AngelOfDarkness1959 chapter 20 . 5/6/2013
Melody's been kidnapped, eh? How high can the stakes go anyway? (Not that I'm complaining) I like that the villains are going to try and rescue her, particularly Jafar given Nasira's apparent past.
Speaking of... are we going to get a look into that past? Please? I'll be your best friend...
*Ahem* Anyway, also looking forward to Jafar v. Phoebus.
Aww, thank you, Marchie... I think.

-Angel
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