|Reviews for Raven|
| hoppnhorn chapter 8 . 10/31/2011
HELLO HELLO I AM HERE! Ready to review this awesomeeee chapter. I've been waiting for this one for a while...ever since that teaser that nearly gave me a stroke. That's how excited I was for this and I LOVE how it turned out. heheh. P.S: Thanks for the shout out love, I'm always here to read for you and I can't thank you enough for the help you've given me.
First off, I liked how you set Joey and Baggy up outside. It was a great way to visualize the scene and then delve into what was bothering him.
-Their time was limited to a heated romp in the back room. And quite frankly that's as far as he wanted to take it with those groupies anyway. They didn't look at him the same way Elena did. They didn't possess her sparkling green eyes that pulled him in while she cooed to him with her angelic voice. Whispering praises and encouragement under the sweat soaked air. And they didn't fuck him like he mattered. Instead they fucked him like a paying customer, one of many. Following the same rehearsed routine with overused whines and moans that lost their value. None of that had ever bothered Joe before. He'd enjoyed fucking whores same as every other man in the gang. Then he met Elena. And now those details were crawling under his skin, pestering him like thousands of tiny insects.- AWESOME. there's no other way to describe it. Digging deep into these boys and their feelings is always fun to write and to read! But its a strange balance, maintaining their bad boy attitude while putting in this sense of genuine need for human connection. You did it beautifully! Sure, any guy is going to like getting laid, but it will never compare to the times they were with someone that meant something. Awesome awesome awesome!
-Now, there was a hierarchy to the way his brother ran things. The men he truly trusted were the seven in his immediate circle and Joe. The rest were mere errand boys and look outs. Billy didn't pay them very much but working for Billy Darley immediately gave you some protection and an inflated ego. Often, that was enough reimbursement. The gang had started using watchers about a year ago after Jamie got picked up and thrown behind bars for a few months, leaving the gang shorthanded.- I really REALLY liked how you added in the errand boys. It's believable that they'd have spotters, but no one that would mean much to the gang. And the fact that Billy doesn't pay them much is 100% realistic. Just being associated with a gang gives you that edge that could lead to something in the future. I loved this because its a small detail, but it's well thought out at the same time.
-All Joe needed was to get pinched and have Billy bail his ass out. He would never hear the end of that.- I can only imagine big brother's reaction to that. LOL. ohhhh dear.
-"And Elena." Michael began with a rarely used tone. He was cautious, nervous. There was something under his skin, bothering the usually steel man. "We have to tell you something… about your brother."- UHHH ominous much? Jeez louise! Every time mannnn. ;) That's why I love ya.
-Fucking whores didn't lead to problems like this because there was no attachment, no feelings. But girls…girls were a whole new ordeal. One Billy never planned on venturing into. Seeing his brother now Billy was positive that wouldn't change.- HOW TRUE HOW TRUE! See...it takes a lot for me to believe Billy falling for a girl...and even then I constantly find myself reverting back to my old ways, dubbing him the unwinnable man he is. It's like the golden rule for me and this section of this chapter is a line out of my bible. Amen amen amen. )
-Expecting that response didn't mean Billy could lay claim to understanding it. Why would Joe want to be with the same girl all the time when he could have a different one every night?- I love how you put this. It shows an understanding of their relationship and it makes this scene all the more enjoyable. Wicked stuff girl. ;)
-Joe had almost told Billy about it but decided not to. He wanted to deal with this on his own, prove to Billy that he could be just as strong. With his hands casually shoved in his pockets Joe spun around, staring daggers into Josh. "Go fuck yourself." Joe snarled, trying to echo the way Billy sounded when he was angry.- I CANNOT EXPRESS THE LOVE I HAVE FOR THIS! Joey trying to stand up for himself to prove to Billy he is strong like him. It's like, the ultimate little sibling's motivation. Every younger sibling wants to either live up their older brother/sister or surpass them. And this is just ADORABLE. but sad! Cuz he get's his butt kicked. ( But all the same, I was proud of him and THRILLED when Billy stepped in and played protector, going back and setting that kid straight. Loved loved LOVEDDD!
-"Let's go in the back and I'll fuck ya good and proper." He continued in a completely wasted disposition. Charming.- YEAH uhhhh that made me snort SOOO loud. Absolutely hilarious. Just had to point out that bit. :P
-Then he understood the words she was speaking with her emerald orbs. It's no one.- BAWWWWWWWWW silly joe. no one could beat you...well...except your brotherrrr...buttttt thats a different story. ;)
-"Do you want me to leave?" He finally asked. How could she even entertain the thought of him leaving? Breaking it off with him once had been bad enough. Elena didn't have it in her to do again. Especially not with the way he was looking at her. "No." That was all Joe needed to hear.- Bahhhhh! Can't wait for the next chapter! Fabulous job as always! Love this story and I love my Joey! Update soon babe. -R
| xThexFightingxIrishx chapter 8 . 10/29/2011
well that was a really good chapter dear. i know it's been forever since you've heard from me but i usually have homework up to my eyeballs. since this weekend kind of lightened up for me, i decided to try to read some of your stories and review for you. it sounds like nikolai is in for one hell of an ass kicking if elena ever gets within arm's reach of him. poor thing. she just can't seem to catch a break. and joe's all broken up about not having seen her in quite a while. one thing elena fails to realize is that even though all men have their pride and that's always a sure fire way to get at them, joe's not like most men. sure, he's incredible in the sack and he's as tough as nails, but he's a total sweetheart underneath it all and he'd be there if she ever needed him. and THAT'S what really counts when it comes to men. it doesn't matter how good they are in the sack - although it would be a bonus if they were like the darleys - or how much they make or what they look like. what TRULY matters is that they'll be there for you if you ever need them and that they respect you, that they care about you and would go out of their way to help you out.
| xThexFightingxIrishx chapter 7 . 8/25/2011
this was a very insightful chapter dear. it shows us more of that darley temper joe has. there are also more passionate scenes between joe and elena, which you know i always enjoy. i can honestly say that i didn't expect that the two of them would fight with each other. yes, i understand - once i got to the end of the chapter and it was all explained at least - WHY she did it and i can agree with her for doing it. but i still feel really bad for the poor guy. i mean he's fucking ADORABLE and he's been a real sweetheart - and a beast under the sheets and, well... everywhere else for that matter, as the broken hotel table proves - and i just couldn't take the look on his face if i would've been in her shoes. i really DO hope they can work things out and that she'll eventually explain her reasoning behind it so that he won't hafta hurt anymore. the poor guy got attached after all, and that's not something the darley boys do easily. but i loved getting to learn some back history on how elena met viktor and michael and i love seeing the interact. there's a real close, inseperable bond there between them and i love that connection the three of them have with one another. once again, i just LOVE this story and i can't wait to see what you do with it next dear. :)
| xThexFightingxIrishx chapter 6 . 8/25/2011
UH oh... well a LOT happened in this chapter. first she went to go get information on bones, going to him and playing the cash-paying customer so as to keep him from getting suspicious about anything. she's very clever. she's going to scope out her competition and see what they have to offer their customers that way. very clever indeed! then joey came to visit her that night and fought dirty, the adorable yet cocky little son of a bitch, and she loved it - of course... who WOULDN'T? he's joe darley! it was nice to see his flirtier, dirtier, playful side and yet he was kind of demanding at the same time. but as for this whole nikolai planning something with ELENA'S two best men and not wanting them to tell her about it... well... i'm just SURE she'll find out and i'm SURE all hell will break loose when she does. then again, she's keeping secrets from him too. so it seems like a "tit for tat, love" sort of thing. but i have time to move onto the next chapter dear, so i will. :)
| xThexFightingxIrishx chapter 5 . 8/25/2011
this was another great chapter dear. finally got to meet ivan in the story and found out that there is more and more competition moving into the big ol' city of boston there. so that will make for more interesting and exciting things to come in the plot, i'm sure. and of course there was joe and baggy there at the new club, which i'm thinking was ivan's, but i could be wrong. either way, baggy was funny while he was demanding that joe tell him everything about his romp with elena. and then joe snuck into elena's apartment to give her one HELL of a surprise. ;) DAMN that boy just keeps wracking up those brownie points, doesn't he? lol. but i love him to death, bless his adorable little soul. he strikes me as a total sweetheart underneath it all though. and i love him to death. but billy's still my favorite. either way, thanks SO much for the shoutout at the beginning there and i'm SO sorry dear that i didn't get to read and review this for you sooner! :( but i'm moving onto the next chapter now. don't know if i'll make it to chapter 7 before i've gotta go to my first class or not though.
| xThexFightingxIrishx chapter 4 . 8/25/2011
well the the two of them - joe and elena - are really something dear. i love how you write her. she's so strong and intense. i love it when people write characters like that. mine always have something deppressing about them and i don't know if too many readers are into that. but i really love what you've done with this story so far and i definitely look forward to reading more. i love all the details you've put into the smut - of course you know i'm a big smut fan in general. it's nice to see joey getting some attention for once and i find it hot to read the way joey was with her while they were fucking. no, joe isn't billy by any means, but now that i've read this, i can see joe being a little crazy and rough and fun as hell too. moving onto the next chapter dear and i can't WAIT to see what happens. :)
| hoppnhorn chapter 7 . 8/13/2011
HEY HEY HEY. Its...me. Here to review with my ridiculous hyper ways...
FIRST, you know I love this story. And I'll probably say this a hundred times, I love how you write Joey. I don't know WHAT IT IS but you just...uhh it sings to me. Like a tuning fork. *twang* it just works SOO well and I love it. I'll probably say love a ton before I'm done. So prepare for redundantness.
-Get that fuckin' finger outta my face before I break it." Joe threatened with a deep roar and Elena couldn't deny that this side of him was arousing her. His posture, the way he yelled, it was definitely working her up in the most delicious way.- Amen? UHHHH YESSS PLEASE. AMEN!
Joey getting rough with the manager made me grin. LOVEEEE As horrible as this is, when Joey gets tough, I get giddy. Lord. Joey craze here I come, on a fast fuckin' train...with a grin on my face.
If I had to type out the giggling stupidity I emit when I read this smut...I'd be here all day. and using every letter on the damn keyboard. Holy fuckin' crap woman! You get better EVERY TIME and DAMN! there were a few phrases in here that made me shiver. Let me quote a couple for ya...
-She could see every look of pleasure that took over his handsome face, see every grunt and every groan before the sound escaped his parted lips.- wow...I just...*blush*...heh.
-Joe found the closest wall and steadied her against it while feeding her his cock with vigorous, consuming thrusts.- *blinks* damn what a visual. lucky fuckin' girl...*mumble mumble*...jealous?...well...yeh. *pouts*
moving ON! Because you know I could talk smut all day...heh. The scene with Joe storming out was very well done. ) I love what you added and its clever, putting him out of the picture so she can continue business. And I loved the fact that you showed the internal battle she had. It had to have been hard, pushing him away, but it had to be done. *sigh* I don't envy her that.
I'm liking Viktor and Michael! Brother figures in their own sense...coming into town and waltzing into the mess Elena has made for herself...oh boy.
AND SHE WAS GOING TO KILL HIM...*blinks* balls. CRUD!...wow. POOP. This just got a whole lot messier than I thought...my hand is stuck on my forehead...just...poo.
And the damn Italians. BAHAHAHAH. *snort* I'm curious to see where that goes. MORE MORE MORREEE I want more. now now now.
Your stories always have me hooked girl, and this one is no different. You did an amazing job! MORE! am I being demanding enough?...NOW! heh. LOVE YA GIRL! -R
| MrsMercer chapter 6 . 7/31/2011
Ooooh! This was a HOT chapter, who wouldn't want Joe to wake them up like that? Loved every second of it. He is just so PERFECT! They are prefect but I'm still dying to find out how he's gonna react when he finds out what she'd up to. xx
| leeseelee chapter 6 . 7/25/2011
I don't like the scene with Bones. Doesn't seem realistic. I don't think it would have gone down like that. she would have been thrown out on her ass. I do think it's funny that he mentioned her possibly being with one of his sons which she is lol
I understand she was scoping out competition but I doubt that the transaction would be that smooth and that money would be wasted like that since she is on her own trying to keep things going. Again, just my opinion.
However, I am happy that this chapter was all in English. There is no need to put both languages on when the only thing that is read and understood is the english version (well for most people anyways)
| Saiyuo12 chapter 6 . 7/25/2011
| Guest chapter 6 . 7/25/2011
When you say you're giving me a Joey fix, you truly do mean it. WOOO-FRIKIN-WIE. I am lovin' that dirty man. YAY! It's so hard to stay on a Billy kick when I have THAT to read. I'm suddenly blinded by the light that is JOEY DARLEY. Such a good job babe. Awweeesommmeeee.
First, I've probably said this a thousand times, but I have a strange and completely irrational love for scenes with Bones. Not the man himself, mind you, but his character is just so...interesting. And I love the way you write him. It's so easy to just imagine John Goodman saying those things. You've nailed it through and through babe.
And the description you did of his business was just, magic. Very VERY well thought out. We didn't get a detailed outline of his inner workings from the film, but what you said is EXACTLY what I had pictured. So it hummed with me. it "sang" if you will. ;) You know what I mean.
I can't even begin to describe how much I loved the smut in this chapter. First, I love the idea of Joey stumbling in the dark. Its funny and so...disarming at the same time. He's the "funnier" of the Darleys and I think that entrance just fit beautifully. AND THE DIRTY TALK. Damn. That's all I can really think to say. It's very...Darley of him. Horrible description on my part, but I can't really think of another adjective. Very true to character and just delightful. D
And, I gotta say, the business aspect of Elena is always intriguing. Her language changes slightly and her mind is very sharp. I couldn't write it better myself. Just a wicked good job babe.
YOU KNOW I love this story to death, so I'm just gonna spare you...NAHH! I LOVE THIS FRIKIN STORY! You rock it every time and its got a balance of fun and fierce. Awesome awesome. KEEP IT GOING BABE! Can't wait for another chapter. D love and hugsss -R
| leeseelee chapter 5 . 7/15/2011
I just read all the chapters so far in this story. It's really good. I love how people are more focused on Joe now in fics after mine lol.
| Saiyuo12 chapter 5 . 7/12/2011
Great story so far
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 3 . 7/7/2011
How do I review over and over without sounding like a broken record? I seem to have this trouble… OMFG AMAZING! ) That good? This blew me away!
‘Elena huffed. "Tell me now and I won't kill you. Make me wait another minute and I will have you tossed out in the middle of the sea… letting sharks and anything else that wants a taste have their way with you."’ I was giggling away like an idiot; got to love a girl as strong as Elena, love her lines as well!
Holy shit! ‘"Shipments arrive. Shipments go out. You have a problem here. You have questions. You get a new order. You need to get rid of a body. You fuck up. Anything that happens here is on my territory; meaning you come to me. Don't make the mistake of going to Nikolai again. He has his own shit to deal with." She directed this at all of the men in the dock yard. "Does everyone understand? I'm not in the mood to repeat myself." A series of yes ma'ams reached her ears and she grinned. "That's more like it." She tucked the gun back in her jeans. "Get to work…all of you." They started shuffling around. "NOW!" She barked and all the men shot into high gear. Joe was going to be at the hotel in less than two hours and these morons weren't going to make her late.’ I may just have inherited a girl crush on your character! Hahahaha! Jking girl but seriously she kicks ass! :P
‘"Good. Finish loading them up in the trucks then take it all to the warehouse. We need to get all the serial numbers off before we can sell them." There wasn't a smart criminal around who would buy a gun that could be traced back to him. Depending on the gun the serial numbers were either rubbed off or filled in.’ Can I just say… awesome stuff, I love the detail in your stories! Very real, very raw! Serial numbers on the guns, I like the process! Just adds to the chapter and I love it…if ya get what I mean? LOL
‘He was sitting with a group of men he didn't need to be sporting a big hard on.’ HAHA Oh Joey you naughty boy! LOVE!
‘Joe kept grinning and waggled his eyebrows. "It's a Darley thing man… once just isn't enough." Joe had a feeling once wasn't going to be enough for him either.’ *Nodding in agreement* Well said Joe, Well said! Couldn’t agree more, once well wouldn’t be enough :P
‘Elena's hands ran up his chest, shoving his red leather jacket off. Joe didn't even have to ask for entry; Elena opened her mouth almost immediately desperate to feel his tongue plunging inside her mouth.’ Who could blame her? That man is just too fucking hot to resist!
‘"Sure ya can handle me sweetheart?" He teased.’ *Fanning self once again* Are you trying to kill me? You write Joey in such a delicious way! LOL
‘They should put a picture of his cock next to 'perfect dick' in the dictionary. Okay, so 'perfect dick' wasn't actually in the dictionary but they should create the damn word just so they could put that picture of him in it. "Enjoying the view sweetheart?" Joe murmured as he advanced towards her.’ NOW THAT put a huge fuck off smile on my face! You go Joey! Show her what you got :P
‘Pinning her wrists above her head, his lips and teeth attacked her neck as he pumped inside her. She pushed her hips up, meeting every one of his thrusts. Wrapping one of her legs around his waist, she dug her heel into his ass, desperate to have him deeper. He growled against her throat, picking up the pace of his thrusts until his was slamming into her. Pain mixing with pleasure. It was intoxicating.’ Cold showers! Lots of freaking cold showers! Elena and Joe are way too hot together! Oh my, I need to say it again! Cold shower! )
… ‘As if he read her mind Joe murmured in her ear. "I ain't finished with ya yet baby."’ OMG Joe overload but I’m loving it and craving more!
Amazing, Awesome! Love this girl, so happy to be reading finally! Heading for the next chapter! Like right now! *HUGS* Love ya girl
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 2 . 7/7/2011
I’m hooked! Billy at the beginning! I can just imagine how pissed he was *Fan’s self* Billy pissed is one HOT thing! That first line, just imagining him shouting – ooh shivers! :P
‘Billy tossed the pillow back on Joe's bed. "Why the fuck does my car smell like a chick?"’ Awesome, he tried to keep it a secret but Billy being Billy would definitely know the difference! Mustang is his baby after all )
‘"She give ya a good ride?" Joe returned the grin and nodded. "Like ya wouldn't fuckin' believe." She'd given Joe a ride all right, just not the way Billy was thinking. Not yet anyway.’ HAHA! LOVE The brothers and their chemistry, you do write them perfectly! I can imagine them being like this! Nice job babe!
‘"They're pathetic morons. They don't respect me enough and trust me enough to know I'm handling business when I'm out making them as useless as the dirt on my fuckin' shoe." She practically snarled into the phone.’ Very true! Girl’s got a mouth on her and I’m liking it, the attitude suits! But you know me, do appreciate a strong minded and willed female character!
‘"Bytʹ Bezopasnym." Elena replied. It meant 'be safe.' It was their way of saying I love you.’ Like this touch, love the dynamic between Elena and her brother!
‘"Actually you're in my bar sweetheart." She could get used to that deep voice of his. It had a way of sending shivers in all the right places.’ Swoon! Loving Joe and his attitude – he just has it! Four Roses is a Darley place and him being a Darley makes it his bar, loved that reference you put in there sweetie!
‘She smirked. This otta be good. "Where would you rather I sit Joe?" "On my lap sweetheart." He gestured at himself, still keeping his face close to hers.’ GOOD LORD girl, Joey overload – the boy just keeps getting sexier and sexier!
‘Billy chuckled. Gorgeous and she had a mouth on her. Joe did good. A familiar scent reached Billy's nose and he grinned. "This the girl ya had in my car last night Joe?"’ That’s it Billy boy, land your brother right in it LOL
‘The men made their way over to their usual table, still laughing and Billy lingered for a minute. "Come on Joe, bring ya little spitfire."’ OMG, how much do I love Billy in this moment! AMAZING WRITING GIRL!
‘He didn't answer. He just pushed her up against her car, his mouth hotly claiming hers. She really didn't have time for this…but she couldn't resist giving in. One of his hands came up cradling the back of her head while the other wrapped around her waist pulling her body tight against his. His kiss was rough, demanding but with a rare gentle edge to it. His tongue ran along her lips and she immediately granted him access.’ JOE JOE JOE! That man, girl your making me fall hard for him! What are ya doing to me? :P
Next chapter Joe smut! Oh im so fucking there with bells on! LOL This was awesome girl, such a brilliant job with all the characters and their attitudes/emotions! LOVE THIS!
*HUGS* Love ya girl