|Reviews for The Other Woman|
| elenalena chapter 3 . 10/1
Hmm...just a kiss on the cheek and no explanation after all that touching during dinner? Wonder why Edward never met her till now :) nice chapter.
| pegasus5406 chapter 41 . 9/3
That was an amazing story hon, I enjoyed it very much...I can't wait to go to your page and read something else you've wrote...until my next review...bigg huggs. Peggy
| pegasus5406 chapter 17 . 9/3
Yeah, I figured he had a child...which is good, I just hope Bella is okay with that, which I'm sure she will be after she thinks about it...great update hon, loving this story and can't wait to read more...thanks, huggs. Peggy
| pegasus5406 chapter 12 . 9/3
I'm loving this story hon, very well done so far...I was thinking about the other woman, and was wondering who it might be, and this is only a guess mind you, but could it be his nanny? I don't think he's hiding another woman, but a child could be considered another woman in a sense, and he's afraid he'd lose Bella if she knew he had a child...hummm...just guess-ta-matting...hehehe...thanks hon, on with the story...bigg huggs. Peggy
| Calyptra chapter 18 . 12/1/2014
I am sad to say that I won't continue reading. I have no intention on hating on you, I just want to explain why.
Jasper is the one who screwed up, yet she is feeling guilty and apologizes. unacceptable.
She isn't mad at any one. She understands that they didn't want to be the ones to tell her. I say bullshit. Never mind Rose, Em etc (although rose us supposed to be her friend). But Edward, her buddy? Esme and Carlisle? they are supposed to be like second parents. Why did they left her unprotected?
And Charlie? He is her father dammit. A good father doesn't think "it's not in my place to tell her". Her wellbeing should be his priority. Every somewhat decent father I know would have beat the shit out of Jasper for hiding this from their daughter.
As I said he should have told her from the beginning. It was her right to know. they still could have waited with introductions. If you have a child and intend on a steady relationship, you tell the other si that they know what they are getting into. He asked her if the would have been together for 8 months if he had told her. It us basically Luke telling her that he wanted her to get attached so she wouldn't leave him. That is selfish and cruel. For whatever reason she might not be prepared for a chiId. In 8 months one can develop deep feelings. At these point it can be very hurtful to walk away, yet Jasper did this in propose to keep her around. he took her choice away.
so that's how Bella should feel. Like he trapped her. either that, or that he never intended on having a serious relationship with her, thus gr didn't bother si he could fuck her during the project. That's what his behavior signals.
She has every right to be mad. She has every right to not forgive him and to give the others hell.
if course she can forgive him After telling him what an asshole he was though and after he has worked hard for her trust.
In my opinion you are portraying a weak female lead character who allows others to treat her poorly and then apologizes because it upset her. And then there is probably happy ever after without even mentioning how wrong Jasper's behavior was. I can't support this.
Try a Beta. On more than one occasion you forgot what you've written and described something that didn't make sense. The mistakes were sometimes only a chapter apart. Also the sentences are sometimes weird. it's like you can't decide what you want to write and smash pieces together.
As I said, I am very said to leave this story as I enjoyed it up until now, so congratulations for the first 17 chapters. I liked the idea, it's a shame.
as I like your idea I will look at your profile for eventual other stories though.
| Calyptra chapter 17 . 12/1/2014
Well first of all her friends and her dad suck. they should have warned her. that was cruel. I hope she rips them a new one.
Jasper is awful. I get that he doesn't want to introduce her immediately but she had a right to know. right fro. the start not half a year later. I wouldn't mind dating someone with a kid, but if he kept it a secret for half a year he would 've out of my life. I hope she makes him back and grovel and then beg some more.
| Calyptra chapter 12 . 12/1/2014
Ü dict Knie what to think about bella. When I am in the phone with somebody who is supposed to live alone and I hear somebody I normally ask out of curiosity. It should have been acceptable if she didn't sound accusing.
and the Skype excuse was enough? Didn't download it, ok. It's not like it's complicated to do so now, though.
| Calyptra chapter 7 . 12/1/2014
She went out with him once and then they had sex and she seriously tells him, she isn't someone he can just hook up with? No matter how this develops at the time it was casual. Not that it's bad, but she can't possibly be serious and be mad.
I like the idea Ruth the club, but it didn't add up to the prolog. She said he didn't push her and waited until she wanted to move further. Second date (not even officially) us hardly that long a wait for him.
I can't decide about Bella. Causal sex us acceptable. But she wants more from him. Still she fucks him before demanding answers. You don't do that.
| Calyptra chapter 5 . 12/1/2014
I never I thought I would say that but right now I prefer Edward. Nothing fancy, lets her pay. he is easy going (that's how I normally imagine Jasper)
After dinner I thought Jasper had some competition? how did Edward go from flirting to helping her out with guys?
| Calyptra chapter 4 . 12/1/2014
I like where this is heading.
I didn't like Bella's questions about why they should go to lunch or her comment about her calling him Jasper. It made her sound bitchy and I have a feeling that you weren't aiming for that. I wouldn't bother with someone who has this attitude, most wouldn't.
You should decide how long she had been working for the Cullens. You started with 5 years, went to almost 4 and now it's 3.
Otherwise very satisfying writing, I am looking forward for more.
| Calyptra chapter 1 . 12/1/2014
Oh Jasper being the bad guy with two lives in this one...I like it
| Cullen Cousin chapter 48 . 6/25/2014
I have thoroughly enjoyed your story!
| it's simply me n you chapter 26 . 3/16/2014
She survived her first solo horse ride.
It's good to see her get along so well with his family
| Bell 1 chapter 41 . 3/3/2014
Thank you so much for sharing this adorably sweet story. Maggie was a joy and Jasper, well... it's Jasper! Heart-trobbing, sexy, Jasper... and you did well making him lovable and a little awkward and uneasy when it came to Bella. :D
I loved Maggie's Disney princess reference when it came to Bella, very sweet. :D
Thank you again! :D
| Bell 1 chapter 42 . 3/2/2014
A couple of things...
1... Earlier, Valentine's Day was a week after Maggie's 5th Birthday, but in this chapter Maggie's birthday is in May.
2... Jasper was 30 when Maggie turned 5. Therefore, he would have been 26 when Makenna left him since Maggie was 2 months shy of being 1 year old.
HOWEVER, I haven't wanted to stop reading this story since I started it. I'm reading the outtakes before the Epilogue. ;)