|Reviews for Beneath the Spinning Sky|
| Animefangirl95 chapter 1 . 9/21/2013
Haha this is awesome
| Crazycally chapter 1 . 5/16/2012
That was really good
| Midnight Insomniac chapter 1 . 12/3/2011
Love it! All so unique :)
| CalebKing chapter 1 . 11/26/2011
I loved your collection. And I love Tenten and Neji. Thanks for doing them justice!
| Afriel chapter 1 . 10/5/2011
Since the last reviewer was so very through -glups-, I shall try too! I enjoyed your use of italics; some authors just use them excessively sometimes, which irritates me to no end, but somehow using italics to convey thoughts doesn't really detract attention from the flow of the prose.
I'm a big fan of 50 sentences/one sentence type of fics, so grammatical slaughter and sentence run-ons don't bother me XD
I really enjoyed number 16 flying. Um, this may just be me finishing the fic after studying (subsequent mood), but it seems that the sentences after around the halfway point are a little too T? (Oh, I don't know the exact term and it's too late to tax my head. Meh, I'll just end the review on a bit of a rambly note. This was a good fic anyway :D
| Wroathe chapter 1 . 6/25/2011
How is that you can aptly describe the relationship between Neji and Tenten in only one sentence, while all of we other writers struggle to do it in twenty or so chapters? It's brilliant, amazing, superb, refreshing, absolutely amazing... as you can see, I am beginning to run out of adjectives! Point is, I enjoyed every second of this, from the descriptions of their beginning stages to Neji's jealousy to Tenten's reactions... it was all just marvelous! :D
I do have one inquiry, though. It almost seems as if you got better as you progressed (rather, as the numbers got higher), and I was wondering if you wrote this all in one sitting or if you did it over a specific period of time?
As an end to this review, I figured I'd go ahead and point out my favorite ones :3 I'm the kind of writer who loves to hear what people like and didn't like, so I tend to assume that everyone else is like that too (in which case, I'll go ahead and do it, you know, as a precaution ;D)
2) Holy shiz. I can just picture this. Someone needs to write a oneshot about Neji's point of view on that one, even if he's terribly out of character.
3) Neji is such a gentleman. I swear, he makes me have faith in the universe.
4) And thus is the end of Tenten... cut to Shino crying and screaming, "why'd you have to leave me, Gregory-chan... Why?" Thank you, for totally disproving Shinoten :)
7) Eff yeah, go Tenten; way to save Neji! :D ... I'm cheering her death. I am a horrible excuse for a fan.
8) Nose...bleed... ;D
9) Hinata for the win! Honestly, this one made me laugh... and made me look up what in the hell a "onsen" is... because I am a crappy fan. But hey, at least I learned something today ("An onsen is a term for hot springs in the Japanese language, though the term is often used to describe the bathing facilities and inns around the hot springs"). Yeah...
13) Awesome symbolism! I love how you meld humor and realism into one fic... it's inspiring :3
16) My thoughts when reading this: Gai ordering them to showcase their talents, Tenten jumping extremely high, Neji catching her, and Lee spending the remainder of their training session wondering how the hell she can get that high and attempting it himself... of course, we can't forget the part where he falls, Neji doesn't catch him, and Lee's all like, "dude, wtf, you caught Tenten?" :) Haha, not very Lee-like, but thus is the course of my mind.
17) I... saw... this! In my head, that is. Totally a Neji thing to do! :D
18) It's nice to see someone attempt a fic where the Hyuga like Tenten. Honestly, if I ever get around to including the Hyuga in my stories, they will most certainly! like Tenten. I'm glad that you're doing it this way, opposed to the ole "ugh-she-doesn't-have-a-clan-so-no-babies-no-exceptions."
19) See previous comment.
20) Win for perverted Neji. Epic win for the rhyme.
21) I actually had to re-read this one, as it was a bit confusing. At first, I thought you were referring to the fact that the rookie-nine kunoichi were all engaged, whereas Tenten was still single (or rather, "forever alone," if you love tumblr). However, I then noticed the "freshly married," which tripped me up for two reasons. First, because I thought this was a post in which the story of their life is told through sentences, and it seemed odd that you had her get married, only to revert back to her being single. Second, because I'd imagine Tenten, if anyone, the type to be forever alone. Well, perhaps that's not the best wording... What I mean is, if I had to picture it, I would see Hinata being married first, Ino second, Sakura third, and Tenten last... it just makes more sense that she would be the last to give up, you know? Maybe it's just me. Regardless, I still see it a bit odd that the fact that she was "already" married and "they" were engaged reminded her of her seniority. I would think that them being engaged and her being single would be the thing to remind her of her old age... but again, maybe it's just me.
22) Hammer? Is confused.
23) I can see this! You should write a oneshot about this. I'd review it ;D Given the chance that you don't want to, then I might just have to ask for your permission to do so (I would post all credit to you, of course). Honestly, it's too good of an idea to go to waste, given the millions of jealousNejifangirls out there :D
24) See numbers eighteen and nineteen.
26) The fangirl inside of me that craves fluff has been satisfied :3
27) ! Epic win!
28) ! Epicer win! I'm also aware that that is not a word... we shall pretend it is, for this review.
30) I see this. I really do :D
33) Ohemgee! I love jealous Neji! :D :D :D
35) Ohemgee! I love emotionally-strangled Neji too! :D :D :D
36) Ohemgee! I love Neji-who-just-can't-see-that-she-loves-you-idiot as well! :D :D :D
39) I'm such a reviewhore for pointing this out, but I just thought I'd let you know that you used "meant" instead of "met." You don't have to go back and fix it; I just wanted you to be aware of it... just in case, you know, you're emphatical about that kind of stuff...
40) Neji, fall for a trap? The day has come! :D
41) Lmao, poor Tenten!
42) Lshmsfoaimzt, I love naive Lee! :D
45) Hm, I can't decide if Lee knows what's going on or not... either way, I love it! :D Geez, these comments are getting a bit repetitive. This is why I don't usually review in this format :p
47) Metaphoric... deep... holy geezes, can't breathe. Where's Neji when I need him?
50) ... ... ... Epic win! The most epic win of all! You deserve medals, my friend! That was... hilarious! :D :D :D
Hm, I want to try this challenge. It sounds fun :3 Anyway, excellent read! Please, never stop writing Nejiten. You're absolutely amazing, and it was nice to have reviewed (would that be the past tense of review? My brain is far too dead to know) you :D
| jen chapter 1 . 6/22/2011
I love all of these (: but for 16, "No one can jump as high as her" I think it's "No one can jump as high as ishe can/i." I think. I'm not quite sure. Thank you for writing these!
| Kari-Kateora chapter 1 . 6/11/2011
This was quite nice to read. _ I wish you could expand on some of these themes.
| Nanoue-Chan chapter 1 . 6/10/2011
This is amaziiiing! You're writting style is pure and hypnotising! I apreciated every bit of it! I'd like to share with you about nejiten!
| Unyielding Wish chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
Hahaha, pretty funny.
Nice way of a story, hope you get a lot of reviews for this!
| Nayuki-Bunny chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
loveitloveitloveit. I adore this coupling in the Naruto universe, so I was quite eager to see that one of my favorite authors decided to write something on them! lovely work on these sentences- you did very well to showcase different aspects of the Neji and TenTen relationship. great work!
| DarkAnonymous324 chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
Great job. Please keep writing.
| wildcatt chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
I enjoyed this. :)
| MrGoodyTwoShoes chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
Entries not allowed:
1. Non-stories: lists, bloopers, polls, previews, challenges, author notes, and etc.
2. One or two liners.
3. MST: comments inserted in between the flow of a copied story.
4. Stories with non-historical and non-fictional characters: actors, musicians, and etc.
5. Any form of interactive entry: choose your adventure, second person/you based, Q&As, and etc.
6. Chat/script format and keyboard dialogue based entries.
Your story is not allowed under section 1 of the guidelines.
As a suggestion with how to fix it - why not write a group of short stories with each one being based upon one of the points on your list and just having this being as a guide or a table of contents.
| scribbles of madness chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
Ooh la la, I like! ;)
It's great that you decided to write for Naruto again! :) You are simply a terrific writer.
You gotta do something about the comma splices, though.
Loved the story! :)