|Reviews for A Little Surprise|
| augmentedfourth chapter 1 . 6/16/2011
I like your characterization of Lyle here, as he's just as how I always saw him - cocky, friendly, even seemingly laid back, but you know he has a few tricks up his sleeve and never seems to be completely forthcoming with his intentions. Lena had her moments here as well, most notably when she caught Lyle's slip regarding the supplies and all her actions at the end, of course. Setting out to search for Rhys (and even possibly Maia) was a nice touch for her and is a logical way for her to wind up meeting Lyle. I don't remember enough about the game offhand to be sure if she finds out if he was the dragon who stole Maia (I'm guessing not, considering the limited script), but I'm okay with it (the real question, though, is if she ever tells Rhys!).
The story of all the political dealings regarding Rhys' parents and the kingdom of Landen still isn't really grabbing my attention, to be honest, but I'm sure that its purpose will be more apparent later on in the arc. My minor grammar nitpick is the use of "alright" vs. "all right" - "alright" works okay for me in dialogue, but it seems a little informal when used elsewhere (as in "It would have been alright if Rhys saved Maia...", it just sort of briefly takes me out of the story; I think you used it again later on).
I look forward to reading more Lyle!
| BenoitRen chapter 1 . 6/13/2011
The story started out slowly, but it became entertaining quickly once Lyle was introduced. Lyle's smirk is ever-present and makes him more sympathetic. As for Lena, she was very entertaining. Her tricks suggest that she's quite cunning.
Obviously the interaction between the two characters was an enjoyable read. I think I want to see more of that.