|Reviews for Power Within|
| SaudadeOnSunday chapter 6 . 3/18/2013
Love the story! It's just depressing that the Radiant Mythology series doesn't get that much love though...
| Guest chapter 6 . 12/31/2012
Don't stress too much! We readers will continue to cheer you on :)
| FireDragonX23 chapter 6 . 12/31/2012
| Wen chapter 3 . 11/6/2012
I think it's a very interesting story you have there, but try to avoid unnecessary shifting of tenses.
For example (this is directly taken out of the prologue chapter):
"Although I cannot speak with you when you open your eyes in my world, I will always watching you. I shall give you a name, a name that symbolized your later struggles. I hope you will safe and succeed."
It should be (note the changes in [this parenthesis]:
"Although I cannot speak with you when you open your eyes in my world, I will always watching you. I shall give you a name, a name that [symbolizes] your later struggles. I hope you will safe and succeed."
Also, in this sentence, you left out some important verbs as well as made a few other grammatical mistakes:
"Although I cannot speak [to] you [once (this should be more appropriate)] you open your eyes in my world, I will always [be] watching you. I shall give you a name, a name that symbolizes your later struggles. I hope you will [be] safe and succeed."
I'm not telling you to revamp everything, but I just hope you will keep all these in mind when you are writing the future chapters. I read about how you express things better in drawing rather than writing in your Author Note, and I understand that. I just thought that you might want some tips on how to improve. Good luck :) Starting a story is never the problem - the problem usually lies in continuing it till the very end.
| Toytoya chapter 5 . 10/24/2012
plz update it's a good story.
| Jude N. Maxwell chapter 5 . 9/16/2012
glad to see this story is back. :)
| Supermangas92 chapter 5 . 9/15/2012
What a shame that I didn't find this fic sooner...Because this is a really good one !
I love the idea of rewritting this game because, unfortunately, it was a little too fast...But thanks tothis fic it is not - (sorry bad english)
Moreover, I would love to see the next chapter soon, and I promise, I will not miss it !
| FireDragonX23 chapter 5 . 9/15/2012
| yuki no usagi chapter 4 . 6/10/2012
oooooohhh! please i'm begging right now please update just sou now i love genis so much sooo! please update!
| I'm a Barnicle chapter 1 . 3/12/2012
I really like how you did this first chapter. It has a poetic feel to it like how I would expect a creation piece to be written. It really brings out the essence of the art and soul being created, but be careful for those gramar mistakes! I do agree with others though on your next chapter. You really shouldn't have to put all that extra description outside of your story. And if people don't like your characters don't change them! Being creative and going about something differently is a great approach to an original story. I don't know if you've heard of the book "The Iron Queen"? The authoress had a similar concept for her main character being weak. As the story progresses in however, her character starts showing more backbone. So don't feel like you have to change your characters because their personality may not be as strong as other authors ones. Work with what you have created and make it interesting!
| Gay-critical-passion chapter 2 . 1/24/2012
No offense but an authors note telling the readers about the characters is unnecessary. You should just be able to show us what your characters are like and if they get Mary sue/ Gary Stu accusations then try to change your character so you won't get those.
| Hareyakana-Furizuz chapter 4 . 1/23/2012
Oh look an update :3 amd the review button dosen seems to want ne to press it. (Off topic)
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 11/28/2011
Ah... How should I say this?
I like this new version of your story a whole lot. :) I didn't plan on reviewing, seeing as I don't have a account (lazy), but I thought I should really say this:
Good job. Keep up!
| Nessa671 chapter 2 . 11/23/2011
Please update soon.
| Hareyakana-Furizuz chapter 2 . 11/22/2011
Lol don tell? WHY? XD lol if i was her i would run as far as hell -.-" who knows what would that madice do to you...*shivers*XD hope u update soon!*man that line is getting old...*