|Reviews for The Worth of Souls|
| Crystal Rose of Pollux chapter 4 . 7/6/2011
This is a very nice vignette series! The in media res opening works very well for this fic, and the flashback to right before worlds out, too, almost like a Kolchak scenario.
Anybodys coming by to check was a nice scene, even if she was mainly there to relay the info back.
And I loved Doc's scene, too, particularly being startled by the first headline and then holding out for the second. Maria's thought were also very powerful, too.
Aww, and poor Krupke, not even taking his hat off after going home...
The 53rd precinct mention was a nice addition there!
And poor Schrank when he finally starts thinking to himself. The story of Jimmy is really heartbreaking. And the end of this chapter, with Krupke getting upset over Schrank wanting to leave... wow.
Glad he decided not to, though! And that surprise twist at the end with the kid worked out well, too. And Anybodys' bit at the end was a nice way to end it.
| viennacantabile chapter 3 . 6/29/2011
Just so you know, I'm getting really curious as to who actually did shoot Schrank, and I'm hoping we get to find out who it was. And hello, backstory! I find it really interesting that Schrank tried to mentor kids here, and what happened to them. That would definitely beat a cop down.
I thought the Jets' appearance was well done here, especially this line:
"And I know why," Action snarled. "That's what's worst of all. We're getting branded as a bunch of Schrank lovers! They don't believe us about why we're asking who shot him." He kicked an empty tin can across the alley, where it smacked into a brick wall.
It's very characteristic of him and gives the story some bite. Also, I loved this line for no reason:
Recovery was a headache.
Eheh. Oh, and also, because I forgot in the last review, I thought your revision of A-Rab's lines in chapter 1 was fantastic. In particular:
"I wonder where he's going to end up?" he said. "I bet they throw him out of Heaven once they get a load of his short-circuit. Can you imagine him part of any Heavenly choir?"
This was brilliant, and so perfectly A-Rab. And that you assigned the original line to Baby John was great because he's the one who *would* say it.
Looking forward to the next update! :)
| viennacantabile chapter 2 . 6/29/2011
So here I am, reading at last, and I'm very pleased to see Doc. Hello, Doc! :) I think one of the best parts of that section was the fakeout—other than the fact that I'm sure you wouldn't kill Schrank offscreen, it felt very real, like somehow he'd died between one paragraph and the next. And Doc's reaction was very authentic and gets across some of the necessary backstory, as well as reminding us that this is after the rumble and things really have changed.
Maria's section, too, was really effective as part of the series of snapshots showing how Schrank's condition affects so many of the characters. I also really liked this detail:
That was why he did not remember getting out of his uniform; he actually hadn't done it.
I love the way this was written, and how we see Krupke from the police POV here, rather than the kids'. It's not done that often. I think I'm having a bit of a hard time picturing him in my head, though, since he doesn't seem to fit the movie characters' appearance to me. What does he look like to you? :)
| viennacantabile chapter 1 . 6/15/2011
So I really liked this. I've always thought that Schrank is misguided, rather than flat-out evil, and that he's got problems, just like the gang members do, that have shaped him into what we see in the play and the movie. Here his thoughts reveal a lot about the other side of things: how all of this is new to the Jets and the Sharks, but how Schrank and Krupke have seen this happen before and know how it ends in almost every case, and how it wears them down. It's a revealing bit of introspection, and really makes the fic more authentic because you make the effort to develop Schrank, especially, as a person.
In terms of the rest of the characters, I thought A-Rab's voice/dialogue seemed a little off, if you're going from the movie version, and in general, the Jets aren't as distinctive from each other as I'd like. However, I did think Action, Anybodys, and Ice were handled well, and were consistent characters. In particular:
-"And anyway, even if you don't care about him, think about what this is going to do to us."
-"I wouldn't care if they thought it was me," Action said.
"If they dragged you off to the pen, I bet you'd care!" Anybodys said. "They'd lock you up for life! Or maybe you'd even get the chair!"
-"It's our problem if it involves us," Ice said.
Very, very telling snippets that establish character and personality in a sentence, which I love. Bringing them to life, and all that, haha.
One tiny thing: "alright" is one of my pet non-word peeves, but that's just a nitpick—I really enjoyed this, and am looking forward to reading more. :)