|Reviews for Drowning|
| MLHawke chapter 1 . 6/15/2011
I enjoyed the overall idea behind the story. It was cute to see Alistair fall for the Warden! My only thought is that some of your statements are redundant, and it makes the paragraph reads a little funny.
"She did not have to but she did and coaxed him into talking about Duncan." That sentence doesn't read right, either. I think you were trying to say "She did not have to, but she coaxed him...?"
I like that you tied in some of the general basis of the conversations with him into the story. I was definitely able to get the gist of what you were writing, and I think the idea was a good one.