|Reviews for Treacle: Legend of the Dormouse|
| WyldClaw chapter 2 . 11/29/2012
whooo hoo! you go mally!
| WyldClaw chapter 1 . 10/31/2012
who is stalking mally?
i feel sorry for her , her mom, Milliani and Moldoven, Mindysa.
| katzsoa chapter 4 . 6/27/2011
Really, zero? Huh. It seemed so simple... Then again, this is how Mally sees things, so it was comparatively simple.
I like what I see so far of Bill's teaching style. He tells her how good she is, and also what her flaws are; he lets her enjoy success, and also knocks her back into place.
Typo: "Anyway, your talented." Near the end. Should be "you're."
| katzsoa chapter 3 . 6/17/2011
While the Sherlock Scan is impressive, Bill could have easily said "What else would you want the greatest swordsman for, if not an autograph?" That's what I was thinking, anyway. But I like him already. If he's half as good as a sword than he is with his perception...which I know for a fact he is even more than that... (Paper Faces! ;))
EVERYONE has an odd name in Underland.
Mally's clearly used to responding to people with low expectations of her. She'll keep this into the original movie... You're doing very well with her characterization.
| katzsoa chapter 2 . 6/16/2011
May I make a picky grammatical point? You're using "it's" incorrectly. "It's", with the apostrophe, means "it is". "Its", without the apostrophe, indicates ownership. Weird, I know, but true. Four times in the first paragraph, and once near the end.
Sorry, my last Language Arts teacher was a member of the Apostrophe Protection Society. End picky moment! Begin positive review!
I remember this...! Very good. Mally's skill, perserverence, and hot-headed-ness are clear, even though you didn't say it outright. Which is good!
"Dormousey"..."You miserable meatball of a cat" (The Final Game!)..."There could be cats here"... Memorable quotes!
Write on, mon fairamie!
(Unfortunately, I will probably be without internet access for the next week...but I'll be back soon!)
| katzsoa chapter 1 . 6/16/2011
It's here! It's here! YAY!
That notice at the beginning... Thanks. Thanks so much. I'm touched. Really. I haven't had a story dedicated to me before; I appreciate it. It means a lot to me. I consider you a very good writer, and you're so much fun to chat with!
And so it begins, indeed. I feel for Mally. At least her father's away at the moment... This is a good beginning; I feel like I know all the necessary details, and I'm interested in turning the page to find out what other details exist. Good thing there are two chapters up!
"Why must it always be me...?"
Because you're so much fun to have things happen to, Mally! (Did that sentence make ANY grammatical sense whatsoever?) Because you're built to handle things. Granted, I DID push you a bit far in Under Again, but you came out okay, I think...
Well, time to read chapter two!