Reviews for Tautology
reeee chapter 1 . 12/15/2012
Is the boy Souji?

Is the boy Minato?

Or is the boy Ryoji?

Mind Screw at its finest; I thank you for bringing us this story.

...Now, time to read it all over again...
Rayless Night chapter 1 . 7/1/2011
Well, I finally managed to read this one. Now excuse me, I have to read it again.

*reads it again*

Very interesting focus on the present tense. If I'm reading it right, Margaret's a creature without a past, somehow written (correct word?) into life. Izanami has been "recast"; she has some recollection of the past (the form her hollow word takes, Izanagi) but claims to act according to humanity's present wishes. Izanagi is her link to her past, but she can't get at him.

I wonder if that's part of the Souji/Izanagi question. On one hand, it's suggested they are the same (Izanagi is his first Persona and doesn't have to be written by Margaret into the Compendium). On the other, Margaret explicitly disassociates the two of them. But then she (maybe?) cuts against that by saying he (Souji? Izanagi?) won't remember Izanami.

The continuity with the past is suppressed - Izanami only speaks of Izanagi under pressure, and even the references to Nyx/Elizabeth/Minato are parenthetical. They're key but never looked at directly.

There's also the question of Margaret's own nature - her passivity, her actions rendered down to observation. She says she isn't Elizabeth and she asks what Izanami desires, but she doesn't say who *she* is, no more than she admits if she desires anything herself. She feels disconnected - something without a past with an unstated stake in the future. She seems to realize this, but dismisses it as irrelevant.

It feels like there's a past, and there's a future, and while they made have continuity with each other, they aren't really conjoined. Souji isn't Izanagi, Izanami has lost her identity as a goddess, and Margaret isn't Elizabeth, even though they all exist in relation to each other. Izanami is further bound (literally, and blinded) by her preoccupation with the past. But then, Margaret, in the present, is also powerless, or at least doesn't choose to act.

It would feel somewhat hopeless, except that the reader, if not the characters, is aware of the future: hope cancels out death. Still, that doesn't bear directly on the story. Despite Margaret's dislike of mirrors, it's mainly about duality - Nyx and Izanami, Elizabeth and Margaret, Minato and Souji, and how for a moment Souji dies the same lonely death as Minato. Even so, Margaret is waiting for something different to happen.

That, or I'm just way out on this limb, and that's okay, the view's interesting here.

Crit:

As a general thing, it's sometimes hard to tell which "she" is speaking.

"My master is not whom you should concern yourself with." - I'm not saying no terminal prepositions ever, but the wording feels awkward.

This structure asks the reader to analyze each parenthetical, so these are the ones I felt were a bit weak:

"(There's a boy formed from dust and potential, who believes what those around him believe, who echoes the thoughts of the nearest mind.)" - the idea here is that Minato takes on the personalities of those around him - I like it as a theory, but it doesn't feel like something we could instantly assume about Minato. Maybe tie it in more directly with his role as the zero?

"(Somewhere else there's a goddess, sleeping in the land of the dead.)" - vague compared to the others.

Final crit: I feel like I want a greater Souji presence here. As is, it's mainly Margaret and Izanami, which works well up to a point, but it doesn't really get at why Souji's ending was different from Minato's, what Margaret's waiting for. (I realize you might not want to show the happy ending, and I think that works best here.) Also, we see the significance of the Margaret-Izanami interactions and the Izanami-Souji issue, but the Margaret-Souji relationship doesn't feel as important.

End crit

It probably shows, but I found this one both enjoyable and frustrating. I love seeing how you've made things interlocked, but at the same time, I feel like things are missing - or I'm missing something.
Shiroi Iyasu chapter 1 . 6/18/2011
I like it - the cryptic way of writing that needs a good understanding of the entire game to read that is. Lovely.
Natzo chapter 1 . 6/17/2011
Interesting to see the interaction between Margaret and Izanami. She must have been aware of Philemon's involvement.
Resha04 chapter 1 . 6/17/2011
I like this story.

I like the way you write this, the usage of sentences that are ambiguous (I don't know how to spell it right).

I love fic like this w

What Izanami really wants is for "he" to remember.

I think that is so sad and so true at the same time.

You're awesome!
ViktorMayrin chapter 1 . 6/17/2011
8D

Awesome story! I love Margaret stories, and there are so few of them (good or otherwise, really), so I get a little fanboi-like when I read good ones. Keep up the excellent work!
DemonRaily chapter 1 . 6/17/2011
First of all I am really happy to have you back, I do not know where you disappeared but to tell the truth if you are here to stay I would be quite happy.

Some parts of the story(or what ever you call it)was a bit obscure but I still quite liked it.