This is amazing, can't wait to read the next one.

Again, why doesn't Shiva demand the school close? Do any Claws ever write home about what is happening?

Oh no, only Snapey potions are fit for Hoggy. Who cares how much schooling is missed. Is Shiva going to get Harry out of there since almost dead students doesn't bother The Bumbler?

I would think fast casing without touching a stone would be the goal. So far, a wand seems better.

Between the mirror that just happens to be available and Hagrid, there is absolutely no reason to suspect Bumbles.

Dude this is fucking awesome.

Who needs sleep anyway? Imma gonna go read the sequel right now! :D

Pretty good overall. You have a remarkably interesting plot taking pieces from many different sources. I approve of the fact that you ditched canon dozens of chapters ago and don't seem even remotely inclined to return to it in the slightest. It's always nice to see a writer taking the path less traveled. I'm really looking forward to where your plot is headed.

In addition, you've taken real strides at developing the magical world Rowling created. You've really taken a dive into how magic works and how things are different for Harry and you show no signs of stopping. The points you've made have been both interesting and remarkably unique on the whole.

I really think the area in which you could improve is character development. Your story actually reads a great deal like Harry Potter at the moment, which left the main characters mostly blank. Canon's characters generally had one or two defining characteristics and a loose back story. You've settled for much the same here, even relying significantly on canon to define many of your characters or avoiding doing so in the slightest.

I think you can really go farther, especially as dialogue, at which you excel, is one of the best ways to define a character. Give Harry stronger emotions, force him to make decisions and rationalize them, allow him to interact with and grow closer to those around him. All of these tricks and many others allow readers to really understand characters and get inside their heads.

In addition, do the same with Shiva. As a character unrelated to general canon and undefined in the canon from which she originated, it's up to you to give her character and develop her. She came off as imperious and haughty at the beginning of the story, which was an excellent start. However, she has apparently become a good friend and perhaps even something of a mother figure to Harry over the course of the story. This change was either not shown or at least not well-highlighted over the course of the story.

I hope this review doesn't sound too critical. I always like to leave authors with feedback as opposed to simple praise. Hopefully you will take my comments not as an attack but as the constructive criticism which it is meant to be. There is a lot of really excellent content here and I appreciate the time you've take to share it with us.

Later,
Rex

Not sure how I feel about Quirrell's imperius being about to effect Harry considering that Shiva took offense to Dumbledore even touching Harry's mind with legilimency. I suppose you can pass it off as the imperius attacking only the body as opposed to the mind or something similar though so it's not completely absurd. That said, I feel a little more explanation was necessary considering the past encounter with Dumbledore.

Later,
Rex

Doesn't he have the invisibility cloak for sneaking about after hours? I always hated the fact Harry and company got caught after delivering Norbert just because they forgot the cloak.

Later,
Rex

I'm sure it's obnoxious, but I feel the need to point out that Slytherin's seeker in Harry's first year was Terence Higgs, not Marcus Flint. Flint was always a chaser.

As to the story in general, so far so good. The character development is a little light for my tastes, but you're doing interesting things in regards to magic and general Harry Potter canon. I'll have a more comprehensive review when I reach the end.

Later,
Rex

oh, you sneaky bugger. nice last minute swerve there.

digging this story. interesting twist, but thoroughly believable.

This is great! I look forward to reading the sequel.

Excellent story! Even though I'm not a big Final Fantasy fan (12 was my first exposure to it and I loved it, 13…not so much; looking forward to playing 3 on my Ouya soon) I enjoyed this story tremendously. Now, I'l looking forward to the sequel.

Kudos for an excellent story, well told.

Sadly, I don't think much of my stuff would interest you, as I write slash almost exclusively. You might enjoy 'Harry Potter and the Wonderful Wood Chipper', 'Harry Potter and the Unrefusable Offer' or '50 Things...' and '50 More Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts'…which are NOT slash. Yes, I can restrain my gagging long enough to write (short) breeder fics, too.

I thought it would be Hufflepuff.

This was a wonderful story, great job!