|Reviews for Brutal Harry|
| GenoBeast chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
Does Hermione tend to create a replicator as the end result of the research? Maybe it would not do the energy to matter but place base elements of everything for the use. Her mystery material could be diamond or exceptionally strong alloy/metal? Never really expected Hermione to have her own secret project apart from Harry though in a way it makes sense if she will tell Harry eventually.
It is awesome how you also pulled in the idea of guns. Some make the mistake of either boosting the 'gun' use or limiting and making guns seem near useless against magic. I even read of one fanfic where Mr. Weasley talks about a handgun malfunctioning around magic, of course the Author then introduced magical bows...so one wonders his true intent. Also it was good that you both showed a superman like quality to Harry's shield but then also cut its legs out from under it for different types of danger he could face. The shield was designed strictly for physical damage and can even last against the power of automatic rifles fired at close range...that is even more impressive than I would have thought for the shield.
Ideas. Use or don't use.
.Flying: he has durable skin, he needs to fly to be a true superhero(to truly be 'super'.lol). I of course have limited idea of how you would achieve that for your story...maybe have a series of enchanted bands that allow flight, like for writs, ankles, and torso. Possible even use wandless spells if he can build up the control for power and precision. Add in some near subconsious use of it for the benefit of not crashing into buildings.
.Ballistic telekinsis: use magic to wandlessly accelerate small objects at high velocity so like a pebble or ball bearing peirces the body.
.Elemental training: learn to control fire with ones magic. A side benefit of handling fiendfrye maybe...
| The Dain chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
If Harry has managed to create enough gold to start buying up a series of large estates and controlling interests in several major companies...then I would wager a guess and say that the amount of gold he is throwing into the market should have started to seriously affect its prize by now. :)
People will notice that the amount of gold sales has skyrocketed this year and that someone is throwing away incredibly large volumes of the stuff as if there was no tomorrow. On top of that, they'd be able to tell that whereever the gold is coming from, it is from an entirely new source. Modern analysis and stuff, combined with gold being a tightly watched substance. So Harry isn't being as sneaky as he thinks he is and probably already the target of a feverish investigation by several corporate and government groups. Of course, they'd be completely unable to come to any correct conclusion (unless they happen to have a magic-informed source avaiable, a stroke of luck which might just be in the realm of possibility for the seriously powerful - government heads are briefed on their magical parasite subtenants after all and should realistically point some intelligence assets their way, not to mention the number of disgruntled Muggleborns magical society seems to produce).
On the other hand, depending on the economic climate, he could probably hope to profit off a gold bubble - during recession even moreso than during normal times, people put an extremely unreasonable amount of faith into it which might serve to hide the gold-inflation for some time. The inevitable crash and following financial crisis would be both hilarious and horrifying at the same time, though. He'd better be prepared for it or limit his buying spree. :P
I can totally understand that George Granger might be slightly excited about the prospect of someone demonstrating magic in front of him. It's like being handed the Holy Grail of science - and a guaranteed Nobel Prize. I already wanted to write something about this last chapter, but refrained since Hermione's physics lessons were more comic relief than anything - but if you want to do a more serious treatment:
First and foremost, contrary to popular opinion, magic and science are not at war with each other, nor inherantly unable to understand each other, and I am thankful that you already included this much better approach. Science is the endeavour to understand the way the world works, and the discovery of 'magic' (an umbrella term for every fictional phenomenon unknown to science, encompassing everything from Alice in Wonderland to satanic rituals) would be the Most Totally Awesome News Ever to a real scientist.
From his perspective, he's just entered the land of plenty, of milk and honey: It means that contrary to the current state of affairs, where everything easy has been thoroughly researched and any new scientific breakthrough is only achieved through years of mind-boggling number-crunching, the 'publish-or-die' mentality and extremely expensive projects, he has been granted access to complete virgin soil. Here breakthroughs and discoveries will be plenty, and probably already accomplishable with relatively easy field work and the implications for the progress of science, and the human species overall, will be vast and unbelievable. That's a prospect most scientists would give an arm and a leg, and probably their soul, for.
To start with: Hermione already launched into an attempt to create some very specific practical applications. That kinda sounds like a school science fair mentality. The first and foremost thought running through the head of George Granger should be to point as much detection equipment as he has avaibale on Hermione just doing some simple magical demonstrations and try to learn as much as possible about the Nature of Reality itself. :)
Although his first objective probably will be to try and find any detection equipment which actually works in the presence of magic, depending on your interpretation of the 'Muggle devices don't work in my story and anyone who tries to use logic or Muggle solutions to solve Harry's magical problems will be written out of it' approach Rowling took. And this search for magic-proof equipment alone will already tell a multitude of interesting things to a scientists. George Granger would literally already form, discard, and test dozens of different hypotheses before he even manages to catch a single successful measurement of 'magic'.
| bakapervert chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
Thanks for the update.
| akiyan chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
I'm just wondering if the story is going to be Harry/Hermione pairing only or Harry/multi?
| phorcys chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
interesting story, I just have one comment. Harry is gathering wealth in a variety of banks in many countries, please remember that some of the biggest criminals of the ages have been caught by tax fraud.
| ShadowCree chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
Fleur! Yes I love Fleur. Great story by the way.
| ffn notices chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
This 'only 2 or 3 more chapters' threat is horrible! At the very least there must be a sequel!
| Elliesmeow chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
Yay, new chapter! I'm very interested to hear what Hermione was working on and how she will respond to Harry's experiments(somewhat less than pleased that he would do something so dangerous, I'd guess) and how the two studies might fit together.
I was very impressed by Draco, not so much by Lucius.;) And Uncle George is hilarious, as always.
Can't wait to see what happens next, though it makes me *very* sad to even think about this story ending soon.
Thanks for posting!
| xXxOtAkU-444xXx chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
I like it! **
| wolf550e chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
"Well," Hermione said, "I've been working with Arithmancy and Runes on a small ward that will collect all of an element within any mass placed within its area of effect. It'll be slow, but if I can get Harry to help Andromeda charge it, and we use a vacuum chamber, we should be able to use it to collect any element in completely pure form."
Since she implies the device distinguishes between atoms that have the same outer orbital ("all of an _element_"), the device must be able to count protons rather than do chemistry. If it can also count neutrons it is a way to enrich uranium and as such subject to some laws and regulations. It is probably a crime to posses such device. Uncle George probably signed some forms when he got his security clearance (physicists must have one, I guess), which means he takes a great risk not reporting this.
"I can make a ward that will fuse whatever is within it together" - including noble gasses?
Using the words "whatever", "fuse" and "together" means more than just "free energy" that magic already implies. It means making any matter violate chemistry, which is liable to cause an explosion or just spontaneously create a black hole that will rapidly consume the planet.
"a bit like programming a computer with the molecular structures we want" - this makes no sense whatsoever. What does programming computers have to do with designing and synthesizing molecular structures? Please avoid technobabble. It always makes the story sound stupid, like bad spelling and grammar.
"selling gold to various buyers around the world, then mailing cash deposits to various branches of the banks Harry had opened accounts at" - even if we assume the various banks don't share information (they shouldn't), his deposits indicate he's doing something illegal. In whose name are these accounts? What do the tax and law enforcement authorities think of this unexplainable money? In other words, he needs to pay some reliable money launderers to wash his cash, like prostitutes and drug dealers do. You can't just deposit millions in cash with no one taking an interest.
"he would begin looking into companies that had enough stock available that he could acquire controlling interests; Harry did not desire any less than a controlling number of shares" - you can't organize a takeover using a stock broker. People will notice someone is buying up all available shares. Also, owning a controlling interest in a publicly traded company is high profile news. He needs to set up layers of straw holding companies and trusts to keep the buyer's/owner's identity secret.
Please learn about plural and possessive. Your apostrophes are metastasizing.
"sticks of dynamite" - nobody uses that outside of movies for about a hundred years. Dynamite is unstable and dangerous to store and handle. There are much, much better explosives for mining and demolition.
"two clips" - being a layperson, you are excused this time. But they are properly called magazines. i dot imgur dot
"unloaded the entire clip into it" - controlling an AK-47 on full-auto is difficult. He would not have hit much on his first try. If he was merely testing the weapon, he should have used a vice on a bench. Same for shooting himself. Did he wear eye protection? Did he learn to aim at anything farther than 10 feet away?
"Then she picked up a small sledge hammer and slammed it down onto the piece with as much force as she could." - How about actually using a press and measuring weight and force? She couldn't have hit it very hard. A nice press can do hundreds of tons of weight.
"Harry stared at the tall, confident blonde" ... ""Hello Luna," Hermione said when she felt the blond" - "blonde" is an adjective that describes females. Males are blonds.
| WL Chastain chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
I think your story is pretty interesting. I'm not a fan of "Super powered" Harry stories. But yours is different. I think your story should have some obstacles though. Having Harry win every time is just boring.
However, writing fanfiction is for the joy of writing for yourself. It's great to have others praise and complement your work but it shouldn't deter anyone from writing if all they get is "hits" instead of reviews...lol.
I look forward to the next chapter. I love that George Granger! LOL
| Immortalis Cruor Elf chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
| tenchifew chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
Another very nice chapter. Luna is simply delightful. And your story is I think the first one i read where Harry actually uses the stone to make gold, not destroying it, not being so rich that he does not need it, not giving it back to the Flamels, but simply using it to make gold. And somehow I really doubt it that Lucy will be able to leave Harry alone, it is simply not in his nature. Looking forward to the next chapters and thank you for writing the story.
| MariusDarkwolf chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
Excellent update as always, enjoyed the train scene and the scenes with Malfoy. Lolled at Luna's actions
| mangagirl64 chapter 9 . 8/20/2011
amazing story really. very complex yet simple. yet i do wonder how harry will deal with malfoy senior. your writing is very good. i look forward to future chapters.