|Reviews for Trouble|
| x1x2x3x4x5x6x chapter 10 . 7/4/2013
thank you for discontinuing
| Laura-Jean95 chapter 9 . 9/3/2011
I'm so lost, lol another chapter and I might understand :P
| Mrs. 11th chapter 9 . 9/1/2011
So, is Sophia being taken care of by River Song? I just knew that those two would get along.
| Mrs. 11th chapter 8 . 8/28/2011
It took me a few minutes to realize that that was an arrow...And Is Sophia dead? How could she be dead?
| Mrs. 11th chapter 7 . 8/28/2011
SKITTLE DALEKS! *Laughs hysterically* And I didn't see any Mary-Sue-ness at all.
| Temporal Austenite chapter 6 . 8/24/2011
Mm-kay. I don't usually read OC stories. For a reason.
There is a lot of work that ought to be done on this, and i'm sure you realize it; I personally have my best friend read everything Doctor Who I write and edit it for me. If you want, I'm willing to beta read for you.
I did like when Amy and Jack met; those two are a dynamite pair together.
I didn't like a lot of this; you have three OC's running around(always difficult, and I've done it before, and it wasn't the way I wanted it to turn out) and one main OC. We're trying to figure out her character and getting distracted by the other two, does that make sense? The Doctor you've chosen to place this around isn't behaving quite like himself, Rory and Amy aren't interacting appropriately. Jack is acting mostly like himself, though, so good job there.
Grammar is a point for me. "whom I'm guess" doesn't read right: there's proper grammar and then there's appropriate grammar. "Whom, I'm guessing," is more likely to be said.
Also, 'Regeneration' it's a thing.
You fixed 'Rory' in this last chapter, and that was nice.
| Trebleclef2 chapter 6 . 7/15/2011
Great chapter, can't wait for more!
| dontstopbelieving123 chapter 6 . 6/30/2011
I really hope u can continue this story it's really good. And omg u r so right I also think Sophia and Darcy would totally get keep up the good work on your story and update soon please. :D
| Laura-Jean95 chapter 6 . 6/26/2011
Yay THANKYOU! Hahaha, you're lovely! Very good, some gramatically errors but that's only because I'm being picky and now I can't rmember where they are so don't worry about it. Loving the plot line, can't wait to hear more about sophia, I'll have a new chappie up tomorrow or maybe tonight, see how it goes, aye?
| Mrs. 11th chapter 4 . 6/25/2011
A. I love how much Sophia rambles! B. Thanks for mentioning my story and calling me awesome. "Modesty forbids me from agreeing with you, but yes. I am." -Jackson Lake -The Next Doctor
| Trebleclef2 chapter 5 . 6/24/2011
Sorry I meant 'of' confusion in my last review... Great update, and much improved with everything :D :D :D Keep them coming!
| Laura-Jean95 chapter 5 . 6/23/2011
Ok, why are you talking gangsta? Made me laugh but, just no :P Really awesomeness, you keep coming up with surprises bring Jack into it was much more of a surprise than sophia being time lord but still :) yay! can't wait for the next bit :)
| Trebleclef2 chapter 4 . 6/22/2011
Its good so far, there certainly is lots pg confusion! :D
| Night of the Living Monkey chapter 4 . 6/22/2011
First of all, friendo, stop acting like the human Yorkie, calm yourself down, and try to write some author's notes that don't sound like they were written by a Valley Girl who just injected cocaine and cane sugar into her carotid artery. Just have a seat or get someone to tie you to the couch or something.
Okay, so your personality makes me long for Cyber-apathy. Cool. What does your writing make me long for? Eh, Angel Bob shaking hands with my cervical vertebrae, I suppose...
So what makes death by weeping angel preferable to your writing? Hmm, let's start at le summary. Here, I'll just paste the whole hideous abomination right into the review for easy reference.
"The Doctor is in for a surprise when he meets the Triplets! Will he figure out they're secrets? Will he find out how impossible they really are, and accept it? Or will he deny their exictance? Takes place after the big bang two, before the silents."
That is one nightmare of a summary. We've got misused homophones, wretched misspelling, failure to capitalize, the whole works, basically. And that's just in the summary! Before any intrepid reader ever sees a line of text from your fic, they're greeted by this misbegotten mess! If you want people to come in and look at your fic, you might not want to have Sutekh the Destroyer serve as the doorman!
First of all, "they're secrets". They're means they are. Their means belonging to them. You want THEIR as the secrets are belonging to despicable OCs 1, 2, and 3.
Now "exictance" is about as far from a word as would result from banging your head against a keyboard. The word you don't come remotely close to finding is "existence". Honestly, spell-check! Use it, God pound you! Big Bang is the title of an episode. Like every other Christing title ever written, it's capitalized. Big Fooking BANG! They're the Silence, not the silents. Derp. We'll get more on how you screw Who-names later.
As for the actual fic! Rasillon, nothing like introducing a character by misspelling his name, is there? There ain't no 'a' in Rory. Damn it! Look, if you don't know what these poor characters are called, or how their names are spelled, go use Wikipedia or some sh*t! And you call yourself a fan of this show! You can't even spell a simple name correctly!
So you can't spell. What can you do? Can you make interesting OCs? Let's see. Hmm, American teenagers in a band called "Love Hurts." Angel Bob, your services are needed! Where the hell are you? He is one unreliable bloke, let me tell you. He probably enjoys watching your readers squirm. Bloody sadist.
I apparently won't be getting any relief from my wingman (haha), so let's continue with your fic. Let's hop over to the second chapter, actually, where we find this: BTW longest chappy eva. Do you know why, in your wee little brain, it's the longest "chappy" you've ever written? 'Cause you hardly wrote jack squat! 95% of it is Katy Perry lyrics, and the remainder is you adding a miniscule sentence here or there! This paragraph in this review is probably longer than every original word you contributed in chapter you, you hack! At least you managed to end it by spelling Cybermen correctly.
At least until the next chapter, that is! It goes from being correct -Cybermen- to bollocks -cyber men! It's one compound word, capitalized. If you get a red line underneath Cybermen, add it to your spell-check's dictionary! Damn it, damn it, damn it! First the Big Bang, then Rory, and now the Cybermen! Great job, molto bene, insult the Roman and the robots.
And in this chapter, we go from band geeks to...some sort of vague anime warriors or something that should be exterminated.
Let's just go somewhere else! Anywhere else! Last chapter, sure, Vogon warship, equally fine! In this chapter, the Doctor apparently son ices something. Uhh...hmm...not even close. He sonics things, or, like picnicked, sonicked them. He does not son ice, which I don't even...
So you can't spell characters, or anything else, really. At least this is the end. I'm sure we'll soon discover some mentally deficient origins behind these triplets, but I'd rather stick my head into a box of Vashta Nerada than stay on this bus any longer. This is my stop, start spelling Rory's name right, and if Angel Bob wanders by, give him some bus fare, 'kay?
| Mrs. 11th chapter 3 . 6/21/2011
I actually did not expect that. I love where this story is heading! Can't wait for more!