|Reviews for Midnight Orchestra|
| Adam He chapter 1 . 1/7/2013
Hey, loved this work! You write a seriously adorable Yuna, and Squall is well, Squall. Keep it up! )
| Alexander - Godslayer chapter 1 . 10/23/2011
So! I finally get to finish this fic! :D
And now you’ve released another Squall Yuna! Geez, crow it up, will you! _
AHEM! Anyway, better get over with this already.
I’ll say, while I know it’s not in your plans, it honestly wouldn’t surprise me if this WAS within LTRA’s continuity. I mean, first, Squall doesn’t feel that different safe for the whole "expecting reward" thing, and second, it could fit just fine if it were events of, say, the 11th or another previous cycle. And if anything, you can justify Yuna going back to Summons because she doesn’t remember the events of this cycle, including Squall teaching her how to handle guns. Which could also add for an interesting moment in which she suddenly remembers, draws the gun and starts shooting around WHILE riding one of her summons. XD
Oh yeah, that mounted fight you mentioned? Sounds very interesting. _
Anyway, while I enjoyed the fic, I must say that the first half felt painfully slow and dragging. Maybe the pace couldn’t be helped for the sake of the relationship’s development, but maybe the first half could have been more entertaining somehow. And all in all, the whole "disturbed by the smile" thing didn’t add much to me, if anything, since it doesn’t have a clear meaning. Perhaps if it was explained, or substituted, with Squall being somewhat perturbed by Yuna being so honest and straightforward (one of Squall’s battle quotes for Firion is: "How can you be so honest?") it would have felt more relatable.
Still, shortcomings aside, it was an overall good fic. The portrayal was pretty good, and I particularly liked the comparison between Squall and Auron (not the first time I see that XD). The dance at the end felt a bit sudden, but fitting for an ending, I believe.
Oh, and I also read more "Scenery called Everyday" _
Only two chapters, though. I’ll start by saying, I’ve never been much of a fan of Squall/Rinoa, but never a hater either (although I always rooted more for Squall/Selphie myself XD). AHEM! At any rate, the chapter itself couldn’t convince me much. Every time Squall smiled upon Rinoa showing up I was like, “really?” It just didn’t seem really fitting to me. I know he smiles at her at the ending, but it’s still not something I could see him doing in front of anyone, but rather just in privacy with her.
Regardless, though, I liked how everything was from Lightning’s perspective and the mixed way, between determination and cynicism, that she compared herself to Rinoa. Those final lines really did it for me.
Moving on, frankly… I’m surprised about how much I can say about the other chapter. For one, while I understand that the relationship between Squall and Lightning is anything but normal, especially when it comes to communication, but I couldn’t help feeling this chapter was pushing suspension of disbelief a bit too much. Particularly because, while I get that Lightning isn’t about telling her worries easily, the amount of time she took with herself was clearly a LOT, and out of selfishness she was holding Squall under tortuous waiting and not seeming to care much for how scared he could be. I mean, just because they might have faced gods in their past doesn’t mean they can’t be scared, right? Little sympathy for the ones you love? U
But oh well, what really kills it, though, is that considering previous chapters, what’s really going on with Lightning is painfully obvious, so there’s hardly any surprise on the revelation. U
On another hand – take a drink now – I can’t help questioning the whole “nine months of this” a bit, since the whole deal with having normal sex during pregnancy is anything but, frankly, a stupid myth that’s silly to follow. U
Which leads me to judge matters on my own hands, as in, why would Lightning follow this belief? My conclusion? Well, let’s just say I no longer want her to admit that she enjoys anal sex, but rather – wait for it – that she admits that she likes MORE than normal sex, the damn prude! XD
Soooo… was she leaning on Squall in the ninth chapter just ‘cause she wanted sex again, or because she wanted to get pregnant again and thus have again the excuse to enjoy her secret craving?
(By Hyne, I’m evil! XD)
Alright, alright. All criticism aside, I’m really enjoying the fic so far, and almost dying to see more, specially considering the next topic I’m gonna talk about: The polls you’ve been making.
Didn’t really expect the story to possibly develop this way, but being that it’s already heading there, well, to make the best of it, risks be dammed. So… lemme start by mentioning my thoughts on the subject itself.
Quite frankly, when I read about relationships, the more unique and controversial they are, the better for me. I like seeing romance between people who’s got to fight together to overcome obstacles not just from external factors, but from between themselves. Such as personal differences if the characters are polar opposites, sexual questioning if we’re talking about slash, social taboo if its incest, and so on.
Polygamy, therefore, is another plus to me. So I voted Harem in the previous poll. This, however, always brings up a particular pet peeve of mine: Sexist implications. Polygamy stories itself are borderline impossible to find, but about threesomes I’ve read a handful. Thing is, I tend to end up feeling more comfortable when said threesome is of three men or three women. Because when it is a case of one man or two women, it has so far always felt more like the scenario is really just two women sharing one man rather than it being a balanced polygamous relationship (could probably happen just as well in a story with two men and one woman, but the truth is that that’s one example I haven’t read of), and ultimately, that story ends up feeling painfully misogynistic.
Now, though, I honestly admire your writing so far and I want to believe this might be the exception to the rule, so I’m eager to see your take on it. That said, if you’ll allow me, I feel like I must ask you to please watch carefully of how you’ll write this, and that if it’s possible, that you could try to avoid making this just "Squall’s Girls", but that instead there’s love, hopefully just as much, between the girls in this incoming big relationship.
And man, I’m not sure what stuff in later chapters of SCE might have brought this up, but damn, I really wanna rush reading further into it by now. U
Now, I’ve already dropped my four votes to the poll (to which I’ll get to soon), and I gotta say, I was really surprised by the current results of it. I mean, TIFA and AYA on the top! o_O How the hell did THAT happen when I haven’t seen even a glimpse of Squall/Tifa or Squall/Aya in any work from you! Or I missing something? How come those two climbed at the top? Specially Tifa. I always thought pretty much the entire Final Fantasy fandom saw her as Cloud’s girls. What helped her here? Was it the tits?
…I just answered my own question, didn’t I?
Anyway, I’m also a bit sad that Prishe’s so low in the poll. And on another note, if you’d think of adding some more to it, didn’t Aerith ever cross your mind? She’s my favourite love interest for Squall – AHEM, Leon! – within the Kingdom Hearts universe. If you ever played those games, and I’m betting you have, say, has is never felt like she and Leon often behave like an already married couple with Yuffie as their teenage daughter? XD Kinda reminds me of the Fantastic Four when I put it that way… U
And well, here’s the four I voted:
Prishe: I probably gave this one away already. Having followed LTRA, she kinda feels like a must at this point. Pity she apparently won’t make it. U
Yuna: Well, this you can blame this fic for. Geez! I just remembered, wasn’t this originally a review of Midnight Orchestra? U AHEM! Anyway, she felt pretty compatible and someone who, oddly enough, wouldn’t have it too hard fitting into a harem, so why not?
Selphie: Well, like I said earlier, I liked Squall/Selphie, so why not? The harem could certainly use a lively one, and if not Prishe, at least there could be Selphie.
Ultimecia: Was unsure about this one, but ultimately I went “Yeah, why not?” considering it’s not hard to read her relationship with Squall in Dissidia (and in your fics) as painfully unresolved sexual tension. XD
Until I realized I could only pick four votes I had voted for many more thinking that regardless of the number of votes. So other options I supported were: Aqua, because you clearly like Squall/Aqua and I felt more optimistic if you were to write something you clearly like. Serah, if only because: "Crap, the Farron Sisters are now in what’s probably an incestuous relationship! Hell yeah! XD", but then again, I really don’t want to break her and Snow up U. Also voted for Rikku, because there was once a fanfic that DAMN it made me love Squall/Rikku. Paine for the irony of how she’s basically a female version of Squall. And Terra just ‘cause she’s cute. XD
Whatever’s the end results, though, I encourage you to not be afraid to dismiss pairings you don’t really feel like writing, otherwise you may be putting the activity of your writing at stake and I don’t think any of your readers wants that. Always go for what you like when it comes to writing, ‘kay?
And… I think that’s about all I can say.
…did NOT plan for this review to get this long, honestly. U
Well, with all that said and done, I’ll be looking forward to future chapters, and a reply as soon as you can get a few minutes (or a lot) to share your thoughts with me, which is always fun.
See ya around!
Yours, "His keyboard hates him" Alexander/Alexlayer.
| Platinumsabr chapter 1 . 7/22/2011
You know, for you note at the beginning saying your portrayal is different...this is canon Squall. In all seriousness, this is probably your best take yet on Squall's personality, though with a few hiccups here and there. My only thing here is Yuna will always belong with Tidus in my mind, whereas Lightning's is pretty open-ended and a relationship between her and Squall is just plain awesome.
Nice story nonetheless, and good job!
| ficcan chapter 1 . 7/4/2011
Glad to finally be able to read your YunaxSquall story you told us about :)And well,as you know I'm a SquallxLightning fan so I don't really know what to expect...but this story is good in it's own right. Honestly I prefer Yuna the old way better, dunno why SE would change her personality but meh what can you do :/
In this story I like how she has a positive effect on Squall, constantly annoying him without knowing it lol and the way she dances and stays on the water's surface was really good, although IMO I think the change in her appearance(and attitude) was too sudden, maybe needs more build up...Oh,and Sir Leonhart's quite humorous in this fic :D Overall its a good story, but still ain't better than Farronheart :P
| Summoners chapter 1 . 6/21/2011
oh my! I enjoyed this story much! It was so sweet and adorable, I love it! 3 I like the way you describe the two and how they both began to get closer to one another. Again, loved it! 3
| Judaz chapter 1 . 6/21/2011
nice storie :D
| OneWingedHeron53 chapter 1 . 6/20/2011
I like this, would love to see more Squall/Yuna. But Squall/Lightning is also good. Whatever, nice story with a humorous end. Definite Fave
| Thien chapter 1 . 6/20/2011
Far from what you think, this story so exceeds my expectation. Like you said, Yuna isn't easy to write as it might seem, as a little more or a little less will turn her into either Terra or Rinoa. But in here, she's undoubtedly Yuna: well-mannered, determined, (too) selfless but still knows to enjoy herself. That's my most loved FF lady right there. XD
And then Squall, ahaha. From the point where he first inquired about the fees for his service, I knew for sure I would enjoy this fic. Always love it when his mercenary/SeeD manner is brought into. But you might have already noticed that. XD
With that all said, I hope this is not the only Squall/Yuna you'll ever write. Don't mean to convince you to jump ship (since Squall/Lightning is awesome, too), but more Squall/Yuna is always welcomed. XD
| NotSoDarkShadow chapter 1 . 6/19/2011
great story as always ;)
and i think i got what Squall's mount will be, though i'll keep it secret for you xD