|Reviews for The Search Is Over ReMake|
| WiseOldSoul chapter 14 . 9/4
the plot to this story was pretty good. the execution however,
needs some work. there are some confusion in this story. why in the world
do the cullens, esp edward try to get bella back when he is the one who cheated
then left her? when a man cheats on his gf, that is a deal ender usually for most relationships. you cannot over react to this terrible terrible betrayal. there should have
been much worse consequences to jax's betrayal than there was, imo. it just doesnt
make sense how it's ok for him to keep going back to tara whether to protect
her or for whatever reason...basically, there is no reason for him to keep going back to her. he should either have sent someone else or ignore her instead of cheating
with her. there are some disconnect in this story and it seems very choppy in
many areas. the plot and subplots are interesting but the way these stories are told could be done better. btw, tara deserved harsher send off by jax than she got.
| Guest chapter 13 . 2/4
You need to figure out if the Cullens are human or vampire. Half the time, you switch back and forth. It's confusing. If they're human, why is Bella stressing that she's a weak human? It would make NO SENSE.
If they're vampire, the beating Edward received wouldn't have even phased him...
It's inaccurate things like this that take your reader out of a good story. SMH
| Guest chapter 8 . 2/3
Over-reacted? Now the truth comes out that the author is just some kid.. Wow. You need to grow up quick. Cheating is NOT acceptable. Even for this show that is MESSED UP. That's not the kind of life you want.
| RealEstateLaw chapter 6 . 2/3
I just thought you should know (since you 'edited' this work) that you can't simply buy a house with a credit card, even in fairy tale land.. You have to submit an offer to the seller, which must be accepted. If it is accepted, you have inspections to go through and you have to pick a settlement agent (an attorney if you aren't using a bank). That agent then has to do a title search to make sure the property is clear of liens (debt). THEN you schedule a closing date.
At closing, you pay your balance with a certified check, not cash or a credit card. The SELLER signs the deed over and it has to be recorded.
What you did was basically have Bella and Gemma RENT a house. That is the process for a RENTAL.
I do like the premise of this story, but even with an edit it seems like you're about 14 writing this... Do your research if you're going to be a great writer.
| vampirelady13 chapter 4 . 10/20/2015
I like it so far, but please tell me that Bella does not wind up a biker slut. She is off to a good start with already having sex with Happy.
| WiseOldSoul chapter 8 . 7/19/2015
What? She didn't over react!
He slept with so done else and Bella thinks she over reacted? WTH?
| Robin.D chapter 14 . 11/23/2014
good chapter :):):) it was a good story in all :):):)
| Robin.D chapter 13 . 11/23/2014
that was a good chapter :):):):)
| Robin.D chapter 12 . 11/23/2014
so sad :-( good chapter :):):):)
| Robin.D chapter 11 . 11/23/2014
you go Gemma :-) good chapter :):):)
| Robin.D chapter 10 . 11/23/2014
oh Bellas dad is not going to be Happy :-( good chapter :):):)
| Robin.D chapter 9 . 11/23/2014
i hope Bobby is ok :-( good chapter :):):)
| Robin.D chapter 8 . 11/23/2014
good chapter :):):)
| Robin.D chapter 7 . 11/23/2014
so is she going to run off with Happy :-/ good chapter :):):)
| Robin.D chapter 6 . 11/22/2014
that baby don't need Wendy :-) good chapter :):):):)