Reviews for Mannequin
gabelou1991 chapter 21 . 9/2/2023
Un nouveau chapitre c9ntn.
Guest chapter 1 . 4/20/2023
You may think the prologue (first chapter) sounds cool, but it just kind of overly dramatic. Same with the mystery paper in chapter one (the second chapter)
evanonymous chapter 21 . 2/3/2021
"Slow burn"; 5 years of this story and Gohan still hadn't even come close to the first point of your summary, the absolute easiest one even in the manga/anime, and then it was abandoned. Nice.
Lei1990 chapter 21 . 4/19/2020
Adorei a esta fic!
Creio que Gohan pagará um alto preço pelas mentiras não intencionadas dele.
Gostaria de saber o final, parabéns pela história!
Guest chapter 21 . 7/2/2019
PLEASE don’t abandon this story please please please
Naite-Laef chapter 21 . 3/10/2019
I love this slow burn. from the romance to the angst, nothing's too overboard and it feels very natural. it's a nice take on things. please continue this one day!
Guest chapter 21 . 1/29/2019
Wow, 20 chapters in, and he is still having a crisis about telling Videl anything?
Guest chapter 3 . 1/29/2019
You need to work on your dialogue integration. The subject of the sentence next to the dialogue has to be the person speaking the dialogue.

Ex

"I am fine." Videl turned my head and saw Gohan.

In this sentence, Videl has to be the person speaking the dialogue. You've made this mistake all over this chapter, and it makes the dialogue absolutely unreadable.

For example:

"Are you ok, Gohan?" I stood up.

In this sentence, "I" is the subject right next to the dialogue, and it seems like "I" is the person speaking, but it actually is Videl.

Do not ever do this.
Guest chapter 2 . 1/29/2019
Oh my god. What is this? Emo Gohan? Can't let anyone get close to me! I'm not here to make friends! It was all a game!

What is this? Kylo Ren isn't this Cringy.
Tealgryffin chapter 21 . 10/31/2018
Pretty good story, until the more recent chapters I’d thought that while you have decent word choice, the characterization felt a bit off, but i feel like it’s really come along at this point so congrats:)
ILiekFishes chapter 1 . 4/3/2018
I. LOVE the first chapter! You kept repeating the same words and this really drives in the insanity of super Saiyan 2. If the rest of the story is ANYTHING like the first chapter, I’ll binge it like no tomorrow
dry ice chapter 14 . 1/5/2018
you killed millions of aliens you monster
Dryice chapter 2 . 1/4/2018
i love yr take on gohan so much
Guest chapter 2 . 6/28/2017
Great intro
Ziltoid chapter 21 . 6/18/2017
Hmz. The amount of secrecy from Gohan is slightly annoying at this point. You'd think he'd at least trust his family with the truth... makes him a bit of a hypocrite when he calls Hercule a liar, imho. Perhaps he'll need an outside threat to finally come clean, like Buu. On the other hand, the whole Buu saga is kinda long as well, which would distract from the Gh/V story, so perhaps a more focussed approach would be better? Villains like Broly would be enough to pose a threat against Gohan, enough to force him to go super even when he'd be in front of Videl. The fallout of such a reveal would be kinda ugly, though... but that's the price he'll need to pay for lying for so long
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