|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Restored Legacy|
| willam and jack and jake chapter 6 . 9/17/2014
nice very well done
| willam and jack and jake chapter 5 . 9/17/2014
| willam and jack and jake chapter 4 . 9/17/2014
| willam and jack and jake chapter 3 . 9/17/2014
| willam and jack and jake chapter 2 . 9/17/2014
| willam and jack and jake chapter 1 . 9/17/2014
| ivonniva chapter 33 . 9/8/2014
Where are the Bones family?
| ThunderClaw03 chapter 12 . 8/29/2014
Harry's getting luck
| wesker101 chapter 33 . 8/28/2014
jaime bien ta fic.
| red-jacobson chapter 33 . 7/5/2014
I've spent my free time over the last couple of days slogging through this story, and, while you have a basically good idea, and a decent collection of girls, this was still almost painful to read. I hope you have improved as a writer in the last 3 years, or at least gotten a beta reader, because there were so many typos and wrong word usages that it was ridiculous.
And there were these big events that really came out of nowhere, and had no real effect on anything in the story. For example, the 'villain' of the story is revealed in a paragraph because Kreacher popped up and spouted off his mouth? Where was the buildup? It was just so unbelievable that I just shook my head.
The whole thing with Ron was also completely out of character for him. Granted, I'm not a fan of the character personally, but you turn him against Harry, and don't actually have him do anything. And then, when Umbridge is gone, you kill him off like a random Red Shirt on Star Trek.
And I'm not going to even get into that Tonto mess, I guess it was supposed to be funny, but left me irritated.
I know this is a very harsh review, but, as I mentioned at the beginning you had a basically good idea, but the execution was sorely lacking. I'd recommend you do some reading on building story structure and plotting, I'm not going to plug the books I've read, but they have helped me in putting together stories that flow much more naturally.
| daithi4377 chapter 8 . 6/29/2014
He made be house of two houses but since the educational decree says he has to get the toads okay that probably isn't about to happen soon. Though why a school has a say in your marriage I'm not su
| daithi4377 chapter 7 . 6/29/2014
LOL love some of those acts.
| daithi4377 chapter 6 . 6/29/2014
Are there any nations not listed lol.
| daithi4377 chapter 5 . 6/29/2014
| daithi4377 chapter 4 . 6/29/2014
If they were all betrayed why is snape still at the school?