Reviews for Goldenlocks and His Seven BFFs
Mialiah chapter 1 . 10/3/2012
Bizzare and yet funny. :P
Fortune Zyne chapter 1 . 1/30/2012
Lol, that is awesome!
Snarkoleptic chapter 1 . 12/5/2011
This is priceless, all the way through. Kid reminds me of me, whenever someone would tell me a story. People learned pretty quickly to stick to the storybooks, because I'd be the one listening intently when I should have been falling asleep and whining about plot holes.

It's also nice to see a more light-hearted take on the vast differences there, me being the rabid Anders fan that I am. For it to have been well done and hilarious is a nice bonus!
Lord 0f Storms chapter 1 . 10/21/2011
Oh, gosh, I'll probably kill your inbox reviewing and favouriting, but I can't help it, this is too hilarious! I love it when you poke fun at the gaping flaws in the stories.

I love Pounce's voice, and the way he keeps calling people "dude", not to mention - "Meh, seen one pussy, seen 'em all." Lol, puns! XD

Reading "Justice dictates that there's no such thing as a free lunch" in Justice's serious voice also had me in hysterics. And lol, he's into men, which is why Anders is bi these days. Too bad they didn't get off with Nathaniel before they left, but broody men, eh? Maybe there's more to Anders' antagonism with Fenris than I realised... ;D

I keep laughing at their various negotiations, and how they keep reaching the mid-point of every change that occurs to Anders, like the new voice, sexuality, etc.

"Drink this and be a real Warden!" Lol! Why the futon was Varel always doing the Joining anyway? I don't think that's in his job description as seneschal.

Ah, all this carnage to avenge his kitty. Well, it's as good a reason as any! XD
strangegibbon chapter 1 . 8/23/2011
LOL I snorted wine onto my keyboard. My nostrils are burning, my eyes are leaking and my chair is suspiciously warm.

Very funny piece :)
Suilven chapter 1 . 8/13/2011
It's very late at night now and this had me giggling like a fool. :)
cloud1004 chapter 1 . 8/3/2011
"What a load of hooey. You're telling me that Anders killed all his BFFs, ran off to Kirkwall, the Crazy Capital of Thedas, used his new BFFs to start a mage rebellion, blew up a chantry full of innocent people and all because his cat died? You suck as a storyteller."

"Believe me, it's better than that crap the head writer gave us."

Word. That's all I can say in between paralyzing fits of laughter.
Wolfox6 chapter 1 . 7/2/2011
LOL! I couldn't get the image out of my head when reading of Sigrun...Looney Tunes little Chester, buddy of Spike the Bulldog...

Nicely done!
KCousland chapter 1 . 6/30/2011
Hahaha! Can't stop laughing!

This is so great! An awesome answer to the challenge, but also a great explanation for all the inconsistencies! I can't believe it's all Ser Pounce's fault... and Justice is so deliciously evil! Splendid work!
Persephone Chiara chapter 1 . 6/30/2011
I love DAII and Anders (DAII Anders)...but...

I almost died laughing. You my dear MUST be hired by Bioware ASAP. Just look at how versatile you are! (Makes me green with envy!) I love the way this flows and Ser Pounce...hehehe, what a plot device!

And I too sense a Fenders on the horizon...GIMME! Ahem...XD
Enaid Aderyn chapter 1 . 6/25/2011
[kowtows and bangs forehead seven time] You are, to borrow a phrase, ridiculously awesome.

"Well what kind of idiot names their child after an entire population? What if the poor mook had been born in the Anderfels? He'd be known as Anders, the Anders from the Anderfels." That alone is worth the price of admission.

And the the idea that Anders merged solely to save his beloved Pounce, and his subsequent apeshissyfit was because Pounce got pulped anyway - genius.

And his sudden leap to the other side of the Chantry being because Justice wanted some hot Nathaniel lovin' - more genius.

"That got your attention, didn't it?" "Wait, I'm rethinking this whole merger thing. I want to be on top." LOL

"Pounce was tango uniform" OMFG DIES OF LOL. XDD

"No, not a headwai…hmmm, actually that may explain why the story they expect us to believe is such twaddle." Dear heaven, you uncovered the conspiracy!

Awesome tale is awesome - why can't all our bedtime stories be like this?
Ventisquear chapter 1 . 6/25/2011
'you owe me a broody man", lol

I believe Fenris is a dream come true? xD

Poor Anders I always knew Justice was a jerk, but I didn't think it was so bad... I'd give him a hug, but I'm scared of Justice!
Eva Galana chapter 1 . 6/25/2011
Now we know the truth! He didn't give up Pounce - Justice orchastrated his death!

Too funny, Shake! Too Funny!
lisakodysam chapter 1 . 6/24/2011
I can't sleep and need cheering up, so decided to treat myself to this :-) Good decision! This was just what I needed!

So...Justice was gay and tormented Anders with images of broken cats in his crusade for broody c*ck? That explains a lot! And it also explains how Anders' hair colour, voice and sexuality changed in the space of less than a year!

"Meh, seen one pussy, seen 'em all." Comedy gold and had me in stitches!

I must say I didn't have much sympathy for Guinevere after killing Ser Pounce, but what did poor Varel and Nate do to deserve their fates? And right in the middle of Nate polishing his 'bow'!

If any Justice has been done in this story, it is by you finally providing a much more plausible and entertaining explanation for DA2 Anders the twaddle Bioware forced upon us. Shakespira for head writer!

And finally...it IS Snow White and the seven DWARFS! I remember my teacher and my parents telling me that! My entire childhood was built upon lies! :'(
Bre'Lakor chapter 1 . 6/24/2011
LOL Never take a man's cat away from him! Otherwise bad things happen! Like chantries getting blown up! This made me giggle :) It totally makes more sense than that stuff that Bioware threw at us and expected us to understand (must...not...turn this...into a rant... about Karl!)

Very awesome! :)
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